Should you save sex for marriage?

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I actually disagree. I think this can be a legitimate reason to have sex provided you've taken measures to ensure physical and emotional safety, by which I mean everything you probably think I'm overlooking. Given that, your reason for having sex can be whatever you want it to be.

However, if you're profoundly inexperienced and heterosexual, you should avoid trying to perform PIV intercourse during your first encounter. So many first time disasters happen for this reason and then one or both participants conclude that sex is unpleasant. A better plan would be to just lock the door, get naked, explore each others' bodies, discuss sexual thoughts and fantasies, and masturbate while the other person watches (and vice versa). Having intercourse would require much more discussion and preparation and is best attempted after you've become thoroughly familiar with each others' bodies and how they work, and can feel confident that anything that goes wrong on the first attempt won't ruin your day.

Having sex as soon as possible just to say you've had it is a lousy reason in my opinion but especially for this particular member.

It's very important for vulnerable people to take their time and find someone who's worthwhile and who won't mistreat them. It can take time to learn that about a prospective partner, especially for naïve individuals on the spectrum whose difficulties are significant enough to warrant a day program. While it might be a good idea to not go "all the way" during an initial encounter, it's important to know that the other person will respect one's boundaries first. Abuse can still happen without going "all the way," too. Ideally, a fair amount of discussion over a period of time would happen before any sexual activity takes place in this particular instance and in light of recent posts/threads.

I totally stand by what I said. My response was directed at FXE not the person to whom he was responding. That person (not the OP) is not at a point in her life at which she should be "experimenting" with sex, I suppose.

In all seriousness, somebody on this forum should reach out to her and start a conversation about this whole topic. My understanding is she has never lived independently and her mother had been her caregiver, but now her mother is incapacitated. The county may be aware of the situation but without the resources to deal with it. If I were you I wouldn't hesitate to look into it, although technically it's not your responsibility or mine. You may know of a legal reason why you can't. Anyway she's not the OP and my remarks were addressed to the forum in general. I don't expect everybody to agree but I won't apologize.

I think people should have sex if they legitimately want to, provided it's a safe situation, not because they care about what other people will think or that they'll be given a specific label if they don't.

I can think of some pretty harmful, unhealthy reasons to have sex, so they aren't all equally legitimate IMO.

You may have a bad reason for having sex but it's your own choice unless you're breaking a law.

Sex doesn't just involve one person, though. People can use sex to control or manipulate someone else without technically breaking a law.

If people are having sex just to be able to brag about it to their buddies, hopefully, the other person involved is fully aware of that.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 08 Aug 2023, 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

We have reached out to her with all the advice on this thread. We advised her to do a background check, not to rush into anything, and to talk to her case worker or day program leader. She's well informed about her options. I'm not sure what you mean about a legal reason. There's no need for us to say more than we've already said. She can talk to her mother or her case worker or even the friend who knows Jerry. That person presumably knows more about him than we would.

Nope. In and if itself there is nothing wrong with being a virgin but someone needs to act sexually immature in addition for virginity to become a problem. My example has happened to me a handful of times where someone's sexual inexperience has lead them to make premature assumptions of me and others.

My specific example involved two women mainly who thought because is was introverted and mostly quiet, I must have also been perfectly OK with waiting possibly for years because I "didn't seem like the type" to be into any sort of sexual relations. One of them actually got angry at me when she realised I wasn't planning to wait for years.

It's not much different from a virgin male showing his sexual immaturity by thinking all extrovert women who like to chat will land in their penises after 3 hours of talking because they assume they boned 300 men or Muslim women are all shy.

There is just a big difference between being sexually inexperienced and actually acting on it to the annoyance of everyone else. Not all virgins are that bad though.

If you're planning on marrying into a religious family then I would recommend you don't do anything otherwise prepare the fish bladders.

The fish bladders?

Yeah, what are the fish bladders?

Today this topic was discussed on Reddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/15mgjjc/people_whore_still_against_sex_before_marriage_why/

It seems like very few current members of WP think that people should save sex for marriage.

I think most people nowadays, unless a person is in the bible belt in the United States or something, are more likely to have liberal views on sex, particularly the younger generation(s).

Also, Autistic folk are more likely to value social norms like marriage less, so that could be an influence on the poll results.

So much for old fashioned commitment and heartfelt love ..moving from eros to agape in a long term loving relationship can be very daunting , am thinking. [[[And it is definitely not for everyone ..... ]]]
But if the magic happens and you get incredibly lucky enough to find that rare pratically extinct version of a wild wandering creature referred to as a relationship or ships . It can sometimes pay dividends beyond a persons wildest dreams. Through an entire lifetime . ..."hmm it seems it is time to stop taking the strong meds the doc gave me ,when I get on this type of a rant,". Love might not be all perfect and subject to growth issues,whether it really exists or not ...it produces ocxytocin..and over a time can result in forms of familiarity and bonding with another Soul . That not too many words besides love can be used to explain it .

disclaimer; none of aforementioned post is meant to infer or incline anyone from enjoying entire lifetimes all on their own

one of my friends while I was in the military was going through, yet another breakup. She asked me how to find a good man. My answer was to not have sex with them for a year. I told her if they were interested in her it would not be a problem if all they wanted was a hookup they would not stick around. I waited till marriage and I don't regret it at all. I've known many people who didn't wait and do regret it, but we are all unique.