ChicagoLiz wrote:
Nightwing82 wrote:
Did that happen for real? That's crazy!
I spent my late 20s and 30s struggling to go back and forth between low-paying dead-end jobs and being unemployed and unhoused. Reasearch shows that over 85% of autistic adults with college degrees face similar struggles. Point is, it meant that more often than not I was in situations where I was unable to go on dates or at least too embarrassed to. Always feeling like I'm never good enough. And that I have finally made progress in my teaching career, I'm over 40 and have no energy left.
But did you contact someone, set up a date, and then tell the person to their face that they weren't good enough for you?
The situation I told here was the most egregious example, but I have many others, as do most women. We're not looking for perfection, but at some point you tap out because men now expect 'perfection' from us. Meanwhile, if we were 'good enough', we wouldn't even be approached, because of course we'd be too full of ourselves to deign to spend time with the other person.
We can't win for losing, basically.
It just occurred to me that maybe this man was feeling so worthless that he thought being the one to reject someone else might have felt empowering.
Men are made to feel like we have to be tall and athletic and have a high paying job and an impressive resume. That's how we've been taught our worth is measured our entire lives.
Seems that both men and women feel like we're in a no win situation.
The secret seems to be that you have to just come across a person you connect with organically. Not everyone can be that lucky. It's liked getting discovered it Hollywood. The older we get the harder it gets. And it can't be artificially induced by going to clubs or dating sites.
24 Jun 2025, 8:04 am
