Why do girls want cocky, arrogant guys?

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Wow. I think that's happened to me *once*...and it was after we'd already been together for awhile.

I do NOT like mean,arragont,cocky guys.They are jerks and just a waste of time.One of the guys that was crushing on me was really cocky and I was dumb enough to go out w/ him for like a month(i think it was).Lucky for me he and and his cousin moved.But the other guys that like me are nice.^_^

SpaceCase

I think the choice between "arrogant and cocky" and "whiny and clingy" presented is sort of a false dichtotomy.

Me, I used to be kind of whiny/clingy. I wanted so much to have a girlfriend and tried ridiculously hard. And I was convinced my intentions were more pure than those of many. I could tell you many stories. But it became a continual source of depression. And I hated -- <b>hated</b> cocky/arrogant guys (still do). I mean, these were people who threaten me and make fun of me at school -- despicable human beings, and yet they're so loved and highly regarded in high school. Like I said in a different post, it's backwards land.

At some point, I changed. I'm not as depressed anymore, I'm more immersed/involved with my interests and work. And I'm not all whiny/emo-ish (I've earned the moniker 'emo dan' among people I know online; I'm linked as that on several pages, and someone even registered www.emodan.com to point it to my site).

Anyway, so I'm not really either of those things. I'm not cocky and arrogant, but I also know when to stand up for myself. I just try to be honest, get my work done, be nice to people, and follow my principles, and not any of this other crap you have to do to be attractive. I'm still pretty screwed up, just not in any of the ways that matter .

It seems that a lot of the arrogant/cocky guys have it down to a sort of science. I've read guides online and stuff on how to get a girl, and it's basically bullshitting them and being the "dominant male". Kind of stupid. But I figure if there are a lot of guys like me who can understand that there's more to love than bullshitting people and getting laid (though I wouldn't mind the latter some day), there have got to be at least a couple girls out there who can see through that stuff.

And I know that when I ever find a girl who is so amazingly special and attractive that it's worth the risks/time to pursue, I'll be able to get myself to do so. I've tormented myself a lot with that sort of thing in the past, and I think, in such a situation, I'd behave differently. Instead of whining to people about it, trying to gather info about them, gauging my own worth by their reactions/perceptions, etc, I could do something different. I could be direct and tell them my feelings in person (but still be genuine and honest). Doesn't matter if it's awkward, nonstandard, or miscalculated -- if it's genuine, honest, and direct, there really can't be anything wrong with it. If I get rejected 'cause I blinked at the wrong time or whatever, then it really doesn't deserve much merit in the first place.

That's my hope, I guess. Until then, I'll just focus on my normal tasks, and try to make do.

Bye!

Last edited by Ghosthunter on 16 Aug 2005, 2:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think women are kind of kept down to a certain level by default culturally, even though there has been much progress in recent years.

Daytime TV, for instance, sort of irritates me. It's mind-numbing, irrational, emotionally-driven crap aimed specifically at women who are, of course, at home during the day. They always have studio audiences who, whenever someone on the show says something snappy, and arrogant -- regardless of if it has any merits in reality or makes any sense -- will unanimously applaud wildly. Maybe some people like stuff like that legitimately, and maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it kind of seems like, you know, don't study or get a job, just stay home and get fired up about irrational crap and buy the tampons that are advertised during the timeslot. (I don't mean any of this in a sexist way at all, and I appologize if it's offensive)

Culturally, I think girls are held to a different social standard, and exposed to a greater degree of anti-intellectualism and a greater pressure to conform to social norms, and it's pretty unfortunate.

Then again, maybe everyone is like that. There are plenty of stupid shows targeted at men and plenty of men who are just as bad as the stereotyped woman.

I HATE COCKY GUYS!! !

My last 2 boyfreinds were very arrogant and that's why I borke up with them. It was always what THEY wanted. They thought they were knig of the world!! ! They just used me 4sex! For 2 weeks I was remindin my last bf that r 6 mo aniversy was coming up and I wanted to do something special. The pig took me to Mcdonald's and then wanted to have sex!! ! I broke up with that a**hole!

That's just awful...

SpaceCase

This person has hit it right on the button. I'm also going to add sensitive to that list.

I don't. I find such males (I hardly consider them "men") to be very off-putting and unappealing.

Qualities that are appealing to me in the male species:

gentleness
decency
honesty, including (and most importantly) honesty with oneself
fairness
aesthetic taste
intelligence
a logical, rational mind
humility tempered with a healthy self esteem and a realistic amount of confidence
the quality of being able to recognize and admit whether or not they are competent/knowledgeable in an area: I despise it when a man tries to fake knowing something that he doesn't just to seem impressive. There is no weakness in not knowing *everything*! !


[/b]

"Of course"? tsk. tsk - treading on thin ice here, nuttdan...

/me wags finger

absolutely!! ! macdonalds - pah! cheapskate. it'd have to be something FAR more upmarket (and far less environmentally damaging).

A lot of people here are clearly separating all men into two distinct categories: cocky-arrogant-confident-dumb-jock-bully and whiny-clingy-miserable-indecisive-nice-guy. This discussion isn't going to get anywhere if we keep thinking everyone who isn't narcissistic is downright pathetic.

absolutely - generalising is usually a baaaaaaaad idea.

You are a logical, good person. You rock! You rock! You are officially on my list of people who will inherit the Earth after the infidels are dealt with.

I would only use cocky males for sex.

I wouldn't even bother with clingy oversensitive insecure drips.

A confident, non nerdy, outgoing and laid back guy would be just perfect.

Well you won't want me then. I'm an unconfident nerd.