"Women aren't attracted to men"

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LePetitPrince
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20 Nov 2007, 4:26 pm

^^ how naive , you ll be so disappointed when you grow up

LePetitPrince
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20 Nov 2007, 4:33 pm

siuan wrote:

I'm not going to flame that. Seems on the mark, sadly so, for many women I know.

I adore my husband for who he is. I am attracted to him because it's just a natural feeling that occurs within me when he is near. He completes me, he's my other half, my soul mate. His self-esteem may not be perfectly intact, he might not have a wide circle of friends and aquaintances, but these are not the things I judge him for. Sometimes when I listen to women discuss what they look for in a man, I find myself wondering how miserable and empty their lives (and subsequently his) will be.

I'm not saying all of my gender is this way, but a substantial amount are. Take my mother for example. She met my dad when his family was worth millions. He wasn't super attractive, per se, but his money apparently was. Years and a few bad real estate transactions later, my mother whines incessantly about not having the life she expected and how she blames him for not giving it to her. As if he owed her. He has given her love, a nice home, food, beautiful gifts (which are never good enough - and they're actually pretty amazing gifts that he goes out of his way for). He has sold so many things dear to him to give her more, and she still barely thanks him because it's only a drop in the ocean of what she feels she is owed. I'd hate to be him, or the other guys like him. I don't mean to dog my mom, she's just a convenient example of the substantial portion of my experience.

Thank you for being honest , it's so rare to find a woman like you who admit the truth of a *great* majority of women and don't play as a blind women's advocate. I estimate that your experience with your parents is what made you to see the ugliness of women's persecution of men's wealth and so you chose your man based on different attributes.

Your father is overnice btw , no offense.

Pandora
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21 Nov 2007, 6:52 am

hoqnq wrote:

I agree with this, but i don't think its meant to put-down or offend. It's just how females are hard wired. You can still see this trait in animals. I think it's a leftover instinct from years of evolution that's why it's more prevalent in NTs. People in the autistic spectrum i think have a better innate ability to think over or against their leftover instincts.

Hey, I'm female and I don't expect a man to buy me expensive presents. I never have either. I also know other women the same. So, all this generalising is really giving me the irrits.

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sinsboldly
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22 Nov 2007, 2:20 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

Quote:

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

Isn't that well known fact already? Look at Woody allen: an unpopular ugly guy who never got a gf at school but since he got the fame he's getting the prettiest women . Go figure.

Quote:

so, why can't I find a boyfriend, if it is so easy for us girls?

Merle

Post a pic of yourself and I would probably tell you why.

LePetitPrince

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all the best,

Merle

emo000
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22 Nov 2007, 2:22 pm

I just :lol: 'd at the thread title.
I cant read anymore. :slapsforehead:

LePetitPrince
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22 Nov 2007, 2:27 pm

sinsboldly wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

Quote:

Isn't that well known fact already? Look at Woody allen: an unpopular ugly guy who never got a gf at school but since he got the fame he's getting the prettiest women . Go figure.

Quote:

so, why can't I find a boyfriend, if it is so easy for us girls?

Merle

Post a pic of yourself and I would probably tell you why.

LePetitPrince

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all the best,

Merle

:rofl: nice one :lol:

! !

1-0 for u .... not for long time tho

Ziyaret
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22 Nov 2007, 6:40 pm

Quote:

Yes, a majority of girls do want guys who are capable breadwinners, but that's only a part of it.

True that, Anubis :wink:

. The other part is they want men who display signs of good genes: atheletic ability, social finess, and artistic talent are biological indicators to women that a man who's got these traits has good genes. Sometimes women marry weathly men and divorce them fairly quickly and THEN go out and try to get a "stud boy" who isnt necessarily rich but displays signs of genetic fitness.

Eire
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22 Nov 2007, 9:02 pm

Ziyaret wrote:

The other part is they want men who display signs of good genes: atheletic ability, social finess, and artistic talent are biological indicators to women that a man who's got these traits has good genes. Sometimes women marry weathly men and divorce them fairly quickly and THEN go out and try to get a "stud boy" who isnt necessarily rich but displays signs of genetic fitness.

It was surprising to me to learn that some guys think women are like this. I'm not sure if this is just aspie or socially anxious guys who can't get dates and are overanalyzing or if most guys think that women just want things and talent and money. I'm a woman and all I really want is a connection. I want a mental connection, physical attraction and love. I couldn't care less about the rest. Isn't that what most people want?

Ziyaret
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22 Nov 2007, 9:14 pm

Yes Eire, I think it is. Ive certainly heard plenty of cynical rants from women about what men want and how men are so shallow and superficial. So the point of this thread is ultimately to show that women can be and are just as superficial in terms of what they're actually looking for in a man; as opposed to what they say they "really want". Physical attraction Im afraid ultimately boils down to some very superficial factors for BOTH sexes.

sinsboldly
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22 Nov 2007, 9:22 pm

Ziyaret wrote:

and this is a shock to whom? do you really think we didn't know that people of any gender can be shallow and security oriented and chooses their mates dependent on a criteria and an agenda?

Of course they do, and I commend them for their forsight to choose those that best match their own tempraments. That connection might be what binds them together. Some folks you can educate and strech their minds but they are just not interested in anything but the flash and the pizzazz.
and when you talk to them about deeper things, prepare to be blown off as 'strange.'

Merle

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22 Nov 2007, 10:02 pm

sinsboldly wrote:

so, why can't I find a boyfriend, if it is so easy for us girls?

Merle

Hello

[waving]

Over here

[waving]

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Ziyaret
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23 Nov 2007, 12:17 am

Quote:

Of course they do, and I commend them for their forsight to choose those that best match their own tempraments. That connection might be what binds them together. Some folks you can educate and strech their minds but they are just not interested in anything but the flash and the pizzazz. and when you talk to them about deeper things, prepare to be blown off as 'strange.'

If such superficial fluff is what binds them together-I must say that those ties that bind are extremely weak and will snap at the slightest stretch. Ever wonder why celebrities have such short-lived marriages and relationships? It's because they select on very trivial criteria because they can. I really wonder if people are taught somehow to view a relationship as essentially a business transaction. Selecting on such a trite basis is doing exactly THAT.For some reason though I think there are still a lot of naive men out there who think that women are less shallow then they are and women who like to pretend and even assert that they are not nearly as superficial as they really are.

Eire wrote:

Quote:

Would it be suprising to you to learn that some women think that men are "dogs" who only want sex and could care less about
an actualy relationship? Or that "all guys want in a woman is for her to have good looks and will accept nothing else as a substitute for that"?

Eire
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23 Nov 2007, 1:31 am

Ziyaret wrote:

Would it be suprising to you to learn that some women think that men are "dogs" who only want sex and could care less about an actualy relationship? Or that "all guys want in a woman is for her to have good looks and will accept nothing else as a substitute for that"?

No. I realize that some women make erroneous generalizations about men. You know that all men, or even most men aren't the same, but you turn around and make the same kinds of generalizations about women. If they aren't true of you, why would they be of us? Of course I only really know myself, I'm not even going to claim that I know what goes on in the heads of most women. It's just the judgements made on women in this thread are so harsh and I don't relate to the things said at all. That's why I was taken aback.

criss
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23 Nov 2007, 3:59 am

I agree, there are a lot of judgments about women here that are unhelpful. I have AS but my social skills are very advanced to the extent that I would say I have more ability to affirm, mirror and connect very deeply with people. I have been told that I am a very personable person, that is within the NT framework.

Subsequently, I have had a good run-out in the dating world and have sadly found that most of the women I have dated have felt that I am either too sensitive (many think I am Gay) or find my lifestyle of downward mobility rather an affront to their becoming. I don't care anymore, i have accepted this is the word, and with that acceptance found peace.

The facts are kind, and the facts I feel are that we live in a world where men and women alike are far from experiencing true freedom and unconditional love.

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yesplease
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23 Nov 2007, 4:02 am

criss wrote:

Subsequently, I have had a good run-out in the dating world and have sadly found that most of the women I have dated have felt that I am either too sensitive (many think I am Gay) or find my lifestyle of downward mobility rather an affront to their becoming.

Could you elaborate? I don't follow what you said near the end.

criss
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23 Nov 2007, 4:35 am

yes I can get a bit wordy. Women tell me that with my sensitivity I don't have that edge that makes them aroused and although many women find my intensity and my ability to empathize and connect very attractive, they see me more as a brother than a mate. Also my being on the incapacity benefit is a big turn off for many women.

Have to dash out now but will check in later. bye for now

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