What you NEED in a romantic partner, vs. what you WANT

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NEEDS:

#1: Woman

#2: "RELAX, WE UNDERSTAND j00"

well here are a few Musts-but certainly not all of them :

-MUST be 100% female(sorry, no tranny's)

-MUST be college Educated(or in the process of doing so)

-MUST NOT be pretentious, manipulative, or derisive

-MUST be empathic and accept me the way I am

-MUST have nice legs(thunder thigs A-OK,as long as them thighs have that distinctive feminine bulge )

-MUST have a big Butt(my annaconda dont-want-none-unless-you-got-BUNS-hun! )

Well the only musts would be must be female, must have similar values and interests, and there must be some level of mutual physical attraction. Other than that I am in no position to have anything other than an open mind.


There are physical traits that seem to do more for me than others but those aren't super important, I see them as a potential bonus. The average women around my age that I see are usually attractive to me.

As for what I actually need I don't know, probably someone who would enjoy kicking my butt and making me do right. At least that is what I have been told that I need. Of coarse the prospect of that doesn't thrill me too much.

Last night I began writing a post to see how my list would look after my first relationship; I deleted it before I was done.
Not only it hasn't changed much, these lists are awful. I expected myself to be able to write something really short (after the wisdom gained or whatever) but it ended being as long and as obnoxious as most people's.

My ex-girlfriend was my girlfriend because of how she fit in my life and how we got along from the start. She did meet a lot of my "requirements"; other fancier requirements she didn't meet that much and that doesn't change how meaningful it all was.

. . .so I deleted my list because it just didn't sound like it had anything to do with an actual relationship.

I'm in such a dilemma right now. The lady I'm dating is everything I need, and not enough of what I want....Sigh..she's a really great woman too.
As far as needs go...

Quiet
Patient with my aspergers
Nice
Smart
Supportive
Loyal
Has high goals and aspirations

Wants.
she could be cuter
she does not wear makeup
she's very short
she does not talk very much
she does not have similar interests too me
she does not cook enough

Needs vs Wants...hrmmmm

A difficult questions because often our needs are the things we want also, and it is hard to see our own flaws to see what we might need but don't want.

Needs:
Someone proactive, a go-getter positive thinking, sure of themselves and where they want to be.
Someone sexually dominant
Someone with incredible patience
Someone good in the kitchen-laundry
Someone who is organised
Someone open minded

Wants:
Someone laid back who can accept a small problem as a small problem and not a small problem signalling to a bigger problem.
Someone who can bear me interrupting them and talking over them without getting upset
Someone who will support me in my interests even if sometimes i screw up and may do something "selfish", and even if they are upset, not show it, but instead talk to me calmly about it.
Someone who doesn't mind not having sex, but really likes to when they get in the mood.
Someone who loves computer games and sharing them.
Someone who loves reading books, and doesn't mind doing it together or apart.
Someone who understands that I don't care if they go out without me, or do things on their own, i'm not going to get upset, just don't get upset when i want to go for a walk or have some me, time.
Someone who doesn't put all of their effort into me and our life. I want them to have their own interests too, that i can support.
Someone who enjoys music, and doesn't mind listening to my music if they don't like it, because i love it.
Someone who cherishes that I will listen to music i hate with an open mind to the point where i will try and find the good in something i don't like, and won't mind how many times they put the same album on if we are having fun.
Someone who i can talk and emote with, even if i don't make sense, just shoot the breeze, if i get off track they can make a warm joke about it, we can both laugh and talk about something else.
Someone who doesn't mind time by themselves either.

I'm already married, so i'm out of the running...

Must
have a pulse
be breathing
face that won't stop a clock (can slow it down some)
have some financial sense
be able to live with someone who keeps to himself too much..
not have to have the last word, always be right, and me always be wrong..

like
I dunno. The older I get, the looser my standards are...

I'll give it a shot.

Need:
1 Female
2 Relatively Sexually Attractive
3 Tolerant/Understanding
4 Kindness (usually goes with #3 though)
5 Sense of Humor

Want:
1 Mostly Cute Appearance With Some Hotness
2 Not Too Skinny, But Not Fat or Chubby
3A Less Intelligent & Preferably Not Bothered By My Intelligence OR
3B Agrees With Me Enough
4 Not Too Much Taller Than Me
5 Not Atheist But Not Too Religious Either
6 Self Confident & Outgoing (they usually go together)
7 Doesn't Like Arguing
8 Not Too Feminist

She doesnt have to be beautiful, but she certainly cant be Ugly. I mean, I am not a bad looking man so why should I settle for a bad looking woman? I have met a number of women who were attracted to me, BUT the few that I met in person without the aid of personals(2 in all)were physically unattractive-so I had to turn them down .

How about....

1. is an Aspie

2. is liberal (which does NOT--I repeat, NOT mean "just wanting to get laid")

...that is all.

Cool thread.

Need:

- Female
- Within my age range by at least 3 years
- Like me for who I am
- Pretty, but doesn't need to be drop dead gorgeous
- Average Body... not to skinny, not to fat
- Understands my tendencies (Cars, Video Games, and some AS traits)
- Caring
- Trustworthy
- A strong sense of responsibility
- Comfortable with my family

Want:

- Smoke or non-smoke... don't care
- Really likes cars
- Really likes Video Games
- Stays active
- Will travel the world with me
- Well-educated
- Good in the bed, and does it quite often in fact ....
- Drinks, but not an alcoholic
- Comfortable with my friends
- Good work ethic
- Embraces my family
- Bubbly and talkative personality to offset my shyness and make things easier
- Willing to have children far into the future (28 or so, perhaps?)

How important do you think similar taste (in music, film, etc.) really is in a relationship?

I'm starting to wonder.

I mean, you could think, "Well, what they like says something about them as a person. If you like similar things you have something in common. You also have more things to talk about. Plus if it becomes long-term, you two can dance to the same music together."

But now that I think about it I'm not so sure it's really important to have the same things on your list of favorites--rather, I think it's more important to have some similar sensibilities and to be ables to TOLLERATE or at least MILDLY enjoy some of the same things.

What do you guys think?

I agree totally Versae but I STILL need a woman with a full, *well-rounded* Behind .

need...

*mind of his own. opinions. independent
*i enjoy spending time with him and it feels natural and relaxed
*he is extremely attractive - to me. (My tastes are not set, and can seem very strange! - so there aren't any particular criteria that he needs to meet to ensure this. But in a way its fussier than saying he must be tall, dark, slim, whatever, because there are so few people I'm blown away by).

want...

*To be honest it's been so long since i've met someone I was really interested in having a relationship with that it's all I want... just to meet someone I'm actually interested in.