Asperger's and submissive in relationship

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This should be in the "It's really not an NT or an Aspie thing" thread. Submissiveness or dominance isn't an NT or an Aspie thing, it's a personality thing. I tend to be the dominant one in my relationships. Not intentionally, mind you--it just kind of always works out that way.

I think that there's a massive difference between being 'submissive' and just having your feelings totally not taken into consideration, being overruled and treated like a piece of dirt.

Submission can be good if it's entered into consensually, with partners that love and care for each other and crucially where the submissive is fully onboard and desires to submit to a dominant partner.

What's different is where someone is in a relationship with a person that just wants to degrade, dominate and control the person, robbing them of all individuality and relationship with friends and family.

(Please excuse my post, it is written in regards to a male aspie - I assume the reverse or same could be applied for a female)

I wanted to offer some insight into this post as it is something I have explored for the past year - not chains and whips sort of stuff, but just being the dominant in the bedroom - IN CONTROL (well, your partner gives you control as the sub - but you get that).

It is amazing for self confidence and feeling sexually superior. You get to focus in on them as if they are your pet project - devising ways to create pleasurable situations for them. You will be able to provide this intensity and focus that they won't get from another man. They feel this sense of being wanted and desired, you get to stay in control - decide how things go and if they are out of line (well that is between you two to decide what happens). The dominant role is actually well suited for an aspie if they look at it logically in terms of its function and purpose.

A true caring, loving D/s relationship is a very healthy form of relationship for an aspie - they can stay in control, they get to play a role that they develop and define, their partner knows what to expect, the aspie knows what his role is, it is egocentric for the aspie yet is actually focused on the subs pleasure, can involve intricate detailed events, emotionally and mentally rewarding, no awkward social cues to deal with, no unknowns, clearly defined cues for more or less, aspie can explore and test the situation without fear of rejection, and it gives an aspie a sense of belonging and fitting in naturally.

It really is a great character to include in your lexicon of social adapters, and it is way more rewarding and involved than vanilla sex.

In a more general sense, an Aspie makes a great dominant in life as well - especially if they can functionally learn and understand how to use their gift. They can be very powerful in most all situations since they don't have the limitations that others do - it's a learning process though. I have found that being more dominant in personality in life has helped my social situations - not so much dominating a conversation but using my dominance to stay in control of the conversation, I hope that makes sense.

I have to run, I enjoy this site

I am soooo not submissive. I can be pretty overbearing, stubborn, inflexible, critical, and cold. I hate it when a partner tries to impose their will on me. I'm out.
I am, however, always willing to listen to reason and discuss things rationally to come to a solution.

If we're talking about strictly Dom/sub stuff, I am more dominant. But I don't desire this dynamic outside of the bedroom. I need someone who also wants to take charge, otherwise I'll get resentful that I'm doing everything.

No, my boyfriend and I are both autistic, and we're both equals in the relationship. None of us are submissive.

another reminder of certain gender roles I despise