Do Aspie women prefer Aspie or NT men?

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I've had this problem with my boyfriend right from the start. He's low-scale but in such a way that he's NT in some ways whilst definitely and prevalently AS in others. It's taken me 10 whole months of seeing him 3 times per week at least (which constitutes more than 10 mths in real terms) to finally convince him that he's "worthy" of me. Other than actually stating that he wasn't worthy, other comments were along the lines of 'Why are you interested in ME?' and 'No, I'm not' whenever I told him he was a truly lovely man.

What put paid to that, in the end, was this statement: "What you do or don't think of yourself has absolutely no bearing on our relationship nor its quality and potential long-term success; in fact, it means diddly-squat. Unless you think you are having a relationship with yourself, it's MY opinion and ONLY my opinion that matters! Furthermore, I can never know you or anyone else on this planet in real terms, I will always be conducting a relationship with merely my perception of whom/what you are...and my perception is that you are an intrinsically, truly lovely man (so shut the eff up!)' He couldn't argue with that one (or possibly didn't dare? )

I don't, however, believe that he was intrinsically low self-esteemed. I think the real problem was that, not historically having been very forthright in terms of eliciting or soliciting feedback from others re their impressions of him, due to shyness, he then became hooked on my regular, highly positive feedback...and what better way of encouraging its continuance than to 'argue' the point with me each and every time??? After all - if he had REALLY believed himself unworthy, he wouldn't have agreed to date me in the first place....n'est pas? xoxo

Not exactly a scientific poll.

Depends.... is it a "female sample" or a "male" one? I think clarifying this is important cos, see, I've noticed a significant difference in male -v- female measurement concepts (e.g. inches), so, in fact, by male standards it's probably quite substantial, thanks very much xoxo

....yeeeaaah...you'll 'ave ter catch me first, pal!

I'm intentionally resurrecting this, i want to read more comments.

I'll add my comment for ya. I prefer aspie men over neurotypical men. I haven't felt a connection to neurotypical men like I have with the aspie men I've met online and in real life. It's a completely different experience to me, honestly.

Another vote for "shadow aspies" or "cuspies"!

My best relationship ever was with a fellow Aspie,
and while my current beau isn't Dxed, he smacks of spectrum tendencies, habits, and thought patterns, and we've already begun to discuss Our Future, so compatible are we.

We both have had our shutdown moments with one another, have had full conversations about the Tudor dynasty during sex, and regularly talk about how awkward we both feel in social situations.


Like attracts like.

Cuspies! I love that! Sooooo defines what I find attractive, too.

My boyfriend's a neurotypical geek.

I haven't been with an Aspie, but ever since I was diagnosed (I was still with my current bf), he started getting self-conscious that I would want to be with another aspie. I found that weird, because I thought an aspie would be more self-conscious that he wasn't NT than the other way around.

Anyways, it shouldn't matter, you're with the person because you love them. I tend to prefer NT men I guess, but still, they are generally different from the norm, and have their own quirks that I like.

Whatever happened to Mr. Mark?

I've not been in a relationship with a diagnosed aspie, but my best relationship was with a cuspie (hahaha). I do not relate well with solid NTs, but probably also not with aspies high up on the spectrum either. A rational human, that's what I want. That's a cuspie, right?

What in the world is a cuspie?

Someone on the cusp between being an Aspie and just a quirky, nerdy NT.

Ah. Thanks.

Ah, thanks for clarifying that. I thought it might mean "cute aspie".