I won't play the dating game.

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I was referring to things within a dating/sex/love/attraction framework. Getting out of the house, risking rejection, and participating in actual interpersonal contact is necessary for success, unless the person in question prefers just to have online relationships for the rest of their life.

A person who dislikes social interaction and instead spends all their free time engaged in reclusive activities, and then complains that they are unable to get an attractive mate and that the "dating game" is unfair to their sensibilities, is not seeing the bigger picture.

In larger non-dating/attraction terms, of course there are many activities that don't involve personal interaction that still very much constitute participation in life. Many of the greatest inventions and innovations were discovered by people operating totally alone.

I was referring to observing versus participating in terms of attraction and dating in particular.

I agree with Diamond, the type of one's lifestyle is a major factor when it comes to dating.

-removed for lack of knowledge on the subject. I was talking out of my ass -

I thought you might have been. I wasn't referring to your post in particular (I probably should've been more clear about that...), just a general attitude that I've noticed.

well its how the world works

don't play-can't win

Yeah, I only meant in that one specific area. I agree that there is a general attitude that applies the same idea to all areas, which is obviously wrongful, as many great or influential individuals in history were thought of as antisocial, reclusive, or sometimes even insane by their peers around them.

Attraction is something which is so primarily rooted in interpersonal interaction that there seems no foreseeable way of getting around the interpersonal part. If the most desirable qualities in the "dating game" and attraction in general were intelligence, depth of personality, and the capacity to love, I agree that the world would be a much better place for all of us. However, the primal physical attraction and body language that results from face-to-face interpersonal contact are in many ways as much of major deciding factors as they were thousands of years ago. Lifestyle definitely plays into it- the more you get out of the house and interact, and the higher the social standing you have when interacting with others and those you find attractive, the better your chances of success.

The "dating game" might totally suck sometimes, but it seems unlikely to be replaced by anything better anytime soon. In some ways it seems that the human race has not evolved quite as much as many people would like to think.

Saying "to hell with the dating game" and choosing the more reclusive and individual path can still lead to attraction, but only in very narrow circumstances, such as when a girl is attracted to the brooding antisocial type of man that she still finds physically attractive (this can also work the opposite way, with guys being attracted to antisocial girls). In many cases, the more reclusive or unwilling the person is to interact, the more the other party is attracted to them. However, initial physical attraction still plays a huge role in this.

well, I find it as fake as most...but at a certain point in any relationship, you're going to be total strangers...every one of your parents, grandparents, etc., were total strangers at some point...

Back in the day, I knew the perfect woman was at home on Saturday nights, watching Star Trek reruns, and wondering... We never met...

When I grew distant from a girl who gave me her number at the very start of my first year in college, I didn't mind because I thought "I hardly know this person and will feel close to women in my class or societies" and it turned out to be the only apparent chance I ever had in college. So I'm not at all against dating people I don't really know if something about the way they look or behave vaguely appeals to me. I'll take whatever chances I can get in that regard, and if it doesn't work out then OK at least I tried.