Prostitutes

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I would endorse prostitutes if it were legal and regulated. I, also agree that much of the stigma against prostitution is inbred by soceity. Looking at it from afar and objectively I believe it is a vital service... but only done safely and without infringing upon human rights(i.e. human trafficking.)

Escorting is 100% legal in canada. Independent escorts (classier prostitutes) here have their own websites, there are escort agency websites, all have pictures, and there are message boards where guys review girls and agencies. We also have legal massage parlours/brothels. If you have money and want to do it, it's just too easy. The street scene is where the illegal part comes in (communicating for the purposed of prostitution, pimping, living off the avails of prostitution, drug use etc...) but sex for money in and of itself is perfectly legal here.

^^ what Space wrote about Canada also applies for most of Australia.

I'm with Aspie1 and Space in that I also use sex workers.

I am not good at socialising and have adopted a workaround. About once a month I save up some money and have a booking with a sex worker (prostitute or escort). It is my “date” for the month. We don’t always have sex, sometimes we just talk, sometimes I prepare food and we have a bedroom picnic, sometimes we just share a spa and a massage. The few ladies that I see (mainly just the same one) know I have AS and are understanding and accepting. Two of them have also become my friends in real life. One of those is an aspie herself.

I recently made enquiries on an Australian sex industry web forum and was quite surprised at the number of aspies in Australia who are actually doing the same thing, and the number of sex workers who know about their clients with AS. So it's obviously not an isolated thing. Those working ladies who knowingly have aspie clients also report that they are generally much more considerate than their typpie clients. They have trouble understanding why we can't get regular girlfriends because were are generally much better in the bedroom (their opinion, not mine).

It is also cost effective. I went on a real date late last year. Dinner, drinks, show tickets, flowers, transport, etc, cost me $800. End result, a peck on the cheek at the end of the evening and no prospect of any follow up. I could have spent 4 or 5 hours with my favourite working lady for the same price.

For those of us that condemn prostitution as evil, I am with you to a degree. My wish is that prostitution were un-necessary. If that makes me a hypocrite, then that's what I am. Most working ladies do not become prostitutes because they enjoy having sex with strangers ... they do it to support their kids.

I said this before but some people don’t just go with prostitution to fulfil a sex drive. They do it to fill a void. Some people may say it doesn’t work, but I am not sure. Example of you gave me a bottle of wine and put me on a nice beach alone, there is a big chance I would become very depressed because of the loneliness doubling effects of the wine. If you gave me a wine an a prostitute, I surely would not be depressed.

I must say, I clicked on this topic with ideals of prostitution being wrong and unnecessary firmly fixed in my mind, but after reading many of the posts I'm now not sure what to think.

Shadow50's story particularly struck me because it seems like something that would be a fairly common occurrence.

To be honest, sometimes I wonder if aspies were meant to be in typical married relationships at all... Sure some of us seem to have managed it, but those few are not the majority.

Thanks sunshower.

Prostitution exists because there are ladies who have no other way to support themselves, not because of the needs of the men, they just provide the market opportunity. Therefore I agree with you that prostitution is wrong ... but it has to go away because the need no longer exists for the ladies, and that requires some underlying social changes.

Governments pass prostitution control legislation and pat themselves on the back for what they have done ... but I don't see anything happening to address the underlying issues that make prostitution exist in the first place.

Aspies can exist quite comfortably in relationships once they find the right person (but everyone has that problem). It's getting into a relationship in the first place that seems to be the difficulty. This is where using a sex worker makes that quite easy, a 30 second intro and you are on a date. But keep things in perspective because if you fall in love with or become limerent for one it will tear you apart.

I absolutely agree with you, there is NO justification for rape whatsoever. As for your stance on masturbation, I respect your opinion on it, but I generally don't agree with masturbating. I understand perfectly well why people masturbate and I know it is perfectly natural to do it, primarily to relieve sexual desires that burn in a person.

However, my main problem with masturbation is that it is easy for someone to become addicted to it. If you're very lonely and you haven't been romantically involved for a while, and you masturbate, it is very easy to become addicted, and it is very hard to stop. It becomes a crutch, every time you feel alone, you resort to it. Not only that, excessive masturbation affects you physically, it makes you light headed, gives you eye floaters, makes you disorientated, and other things as well. I think masturbation is alright, as long as you can control it in reasonable doses (like 1-2 times a week max), but anymore, it is not worth doing.

Different strokes for different folks, if you'll pardon the expression - one man's pleasure is another man's poison. I appreciate that you disagree, and can understand your concerns; your limits still reflect personal feelings and biases, and I can accept that openly. Each person's sex drive is different, as is their mentality; what is a detriment to one is a release for another. Anything done to the exclusion of one's other desires - in this case, self-gratification vs. relationship - is going to be damaging to the self... but that does not mean that it does not and can not work effectively for others in a variety of states. However, I must challenge your assertion, as by that logic any sort of sexual activity over that 2x week threshold would provide those same health risks, which I have seen nothing to indicate that is the case.


M.

You know, I do sympathize with your loneliness and your circumstance. On a logical level, I would agree with you on your position with aspies using prostitutes. After all, we are socially awkward and shy, we are often romantically unsuccessful (not for a lack of trying, neurotypical women tend to be petty I think). We are human, like anyone else, and we need our romantic and sexual needs met. Most neurotypical women ignore us and don't give us a chance. Therefore, what is the alternative? Masturbation? Porn? Paying women for sex, or paying women for their company to hang out? All these alternatives seem logical.

However, I disagree with prostitution and consorting with prostitutes on a religious level. It says in the Bible to avoid sexual immorality in all of its forms. I'm not saying I haven't done some of the same stuff as well, I'd be a huge hypocrite if I did. I have never used a prostitute or consorted with one, but I have engaged in sexual immorality in my own personal loneliness. However, from a religious level, I know that God disproves of prostitution. It is clearly stated in Corinthians:

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit."

It is an unnatural relationship, because you are having sex with a woman because you pay her, she is not doing it out of love or affection, it is strictly to support herself, her family, or her boss. There is no real love in it, it is sad really.

However, I honestly do believe that God understands loneliness and He understands what people can do in their loneliness. When God created Adam, He even said "It is not good for man to be alone", and created Eve out of one of Adam's ribs. The Apostle Paul says in Corinthians "To the widows and single, it is good, if you are single, like me. However if they cannot control themselves, they should get married, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

You know, I disagree with prostitution, but that's your choice to make, not mine. I can understand why you do it, even if I disagree, but I don't condemn you for it.

AutisticMalcontent, you exhibit wisdom and compassion beyond your years, and I mean that sincerely.

I accept you viewpoint based on religious grounds, and if you are strong enough to live by that, it will ultimately be to your benefit.

Your comments would apply not only to prostitutes, but to all extra marital relationships.

But remember thhat Jesus himself did not condemn an adulteress (John 8:1-11), and he also taught that the greatest commandments were to love God and your fellow man (Mark 12:28-34), so by all means condemn what you see as sin, but have compassion on the sinners.

I can't say that I do.

Besides personal reasons (I don't like any form of whoring, whatever the skill), and OCD (ah, how many people have also been here? No thanks); I just don't feel anything in regards to lust if romance isn't there.

I don't negatively judge anyone who'd use or do such, and I really understand the desire to have something in some way that you want, but can't have via normal means due to a disability that prevents you from having it.

I know how it goes; mine is with the military. The only way I'll see the desolate landscape of war is illegally, which is harder to attain than a prostitute (who has her own landscape that men want to see), whether it's illegal or not.

Shadow50, I thank you for your kind words, but I am not nearly as compassionate and understanding as you have portrayed me as being. Often having a Christian perspective of things makes it very hard to not be judgmental, especially when you believe in something so strongly and see other people doing the exact opposite. I'm far from the best Christian in the world, and I have flaws as well.

The reason why I wasn't judgmental this time is because I know what it is like to be alone romantically, and I can really sympathize with you. Yes, 22 years doesn't seem like a long time to be alone, but it is after you've been rejected many times, and you don't have many friends to hang out with and talk to. That loneliness can cause you to do things contrary to your nature, things that you never wanted to resort to. I believe that most guys who are romantically interested in women WANT a healthy, strong relationship. I doubt that ANY of them ever planned on spending their lives addicted to porn, addicted to masturbation, or possibly having to resort prostitutes to fulfill their romantic needs. Ever I have struggled with the first two I mentioned, but I have practically given up those things now because I know they are not good for me, it will only make me lust even more.

You say you're 59 years old, and although I'm making an assumption, it must have been tough for you romantically, as it is with most of my autistic brethren here. I can understand where you could have turned to prostitutes if you've been rejected or had failed relationships before on a fairly large basis. Like I said, if you take religion and morally acceptable behavior out of it, and put in human logic, it seems perfectly sensible. However if you're religious, you know what God says about this matter in the Bible, and trusting in what God says will override that human logic. After all, what is more important, God or what we want?

I don't hate you or what you do, because as you said yourself, you should hate the sin and not the sinner. As you said about the adulteress, Jesus said "Whom among you is without sin, cast the first stone." It is not my job to condemn others for what I consider immoral, everything is up to God, and not myself. I can easily understand why you have done what you have done, and although I disagree with it on a religious level, I can sympathize with your loneliness and need for romantic fufillment on a logical and emotional level.

You say you're

I have used escorts in the past. I was very frustrated at never having gone on a date while seeing everyone else I know coupled up. I think as long as its between two consenting adults it should be legal. There is no BS to sort through. Everyone knows what the other wants. I think its good for people that have trouble with relationships so they don't get frustrated in that area. Just be safe, use protection.

I stppped doing it because after awhile I wanted more then just the sex, and you can't get that with an escort.

Well, that stuff still doesn't really meet our romantic needs, but it's good that you can understand why that happens. Anyone who thinks that most males could live happily single, they need a cold, hard reality check. The younger generations of females being encouraged to price themselves out of the market is having DEVASTATING consequences, although no-one wants to talk about it. Here's some food for thought, and here's some more. Eye-opening reading.

Last edited by BPalmer on 12 Apr 2009, 2:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

Unfortunately, legalising prostitution doesn't necessarily stamp out sex-trafficking. Melbourne, Australia - which has a legal brothel listed on the stock exchange! - has a huge problem with sex-trafficking.

I beg to differ.

Escorts do provide many things other than sex. I started a topic on the Australian adult industry website asking "What have working ladies done for you other than sex?" The response was overwhelming. I, and some other aspies in Australia that I know about, have many no-sex bookings with escorts. And this may seem strange, but something I learned from one of them is that there are things that are better than sex. As I said earlier, two of them have become my friends in mainstream life ... not lovers, not friends with extras, but just friends in the traditional sense of the word.

But then I guess it depends on what the "more" is that you are seeking.