aspie males too shy/weak to be partner material

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Kangoogle
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07 May 2009, 2:09 pm

nothingunusual wrote:
Shy and weak don't necessarily go hand in hand. Some of the most forthcoming people I've know have been low on self-esteem, emotionally unstable and vulnerable.

You are assuming that someone being forthcoming makes them a strong person. Sometimes its what people have the decency not to say and do which makes them a strong person, e.g. not insisting on using every scrap of information available to them to build social advantage, irrespective to the cost of others. *wonders how many people have the decency to do that*



MDD123
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07 May 2009, 11:50 pm

Either way, its a trial and error process. We learn what to do, what not to do, and apply it to our lives. Being an extrovert requires more energy, but it can be done by any of you.



Tim_Tex
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08 May 2009, 12:08 am

I have worked on being outgoing and assertive, but it's still not enough.



Lonermutant
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08 May 2009, 12:20 am

It's not being shy and introverted that gives us problems with getting girlfriends, it's the 7-8 year maturity gap.



MDD123
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08 May 2009, 3:20 am

Being shy isn't helpful either, communication is the key, and if you can find a shy way to communicate, let me know.



EnigmaticPhilosophy
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08 May 2009, 3:43 am

Lonermutant wrote:
It's not being shy and introverted that gives us problems with getting girlfriends, it's the 7-8 year maturity gap.


Speak for yourself.


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Lonermutant
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08 May 2009, 6:21 am

It IS the immaturity growing up that is the core to the problem!



Fudo
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08 May 2009, 8:26 am

i cannot really define what it is, but i think it's fair to say aspies and auties struggle with some elements of relationships.. but then so do NT's..
shyness has stopped me talking to girls, but also a level of emotional immaturity is present in my case.. who knows..
i'll leave you with a (potentially) meaningless quote from many blues singers
"i'm a Man!" they sing, but it's the way they sing it, lol if you've heard it you might understand nvm :)



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08 May 2009, 2:24 pm

Good thing about being ADHD, there are times I am on the hyper side and am a chatterbox... being curious and wanting to talk about whatever outweights the shyness and introvert behaviors when I am not wound up.

Maintain a balance of chocolate and caffeine and I can be somewhere between introverted and extroverted.



EnigmaticPhilosophy
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08 May 2009, 3:11 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
It IS the immaturity growing up that is the core to the problem!


Once again, speak for yourself!
Each person's case of Asperger's Syndrome IS NOT the exact same - it's different in each person to at least a small degree. Also, some people with AS function better or worse than others.
Furthermore, there are plenty of people with AS who were quite mature in their youth, and I have met a few who fit that very example.


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Lonermutant
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09 May 2009, 2:47 am

EnigmaticPhilosophy wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
It IS the immaturity growing up that is the core to the problem!


Once again, speak for yourself!
Each person's case of Asperger's Syndrome IS NOT the exact same - it's different in each person to at least a small degree. Also, some people with AS function better or worse than others.
Furthermore, there are plenty of people with AS who were quite mature in their youth, and I have met a few who fit that very example.



Those I've met were not exactly mature.



EnigmaticPhilosophy
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09 May 2009, 3:29 am

Lonermutant wrote:
EnigmaticPhilosophy wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
It IS the immaturity growing up that is the core to the problem!


Once again, speak for yourself!
Each person's case of Asperger's Syndrome IS NOT the exact same - it's different in each person to at least a small degree. Also, some people with AS function better or worse than others.
Furthermore, there are plenty of people with AS who were quite mature in their youth, and I have met a few who fit that very example.



Those I've met were not exactly mature.


And those I have met have had significantly differing levels of maturity. As I said, it varies from person to person.


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