Bataar wrote:
sunshower wrote:
Bataar wrote:
As far as the grocery store goes, I'd prett much have to get contact info the first time as the odds of seeing them again are very slim, so if you have any more suggestions, I'd be happy to have them.
Well, I think to start with just try striking up friendly conversations with other people at the store. Don't force anything, just if the situation seems appropriate. When you feel more confident with that, maybe try with women who you find attractive as well.
I must admit, I met one of my good friends because he was busking and I walked past (we were complete strangers) and I struck up a friendly conversation with him. We chatted a good long while and ended up swapping emails. Then I came by again the next week where he was, and we chatted again, then he decided to take a break and we thought we'd go for a walk down to the supermarket to pick up some lunch food.
That's sort of how it works. If you don't feel the person would ever come back, then maybe try to get into a decently long conversation with them, and if you're getting along well at the end of the conversation (just before you both depart) suggest swapping emails. As long as you keep it friendly, and casual, you won't scare the other person off and they'll generally be open to getting to know you better.
Conversation is the killer for me. In general, unless there's something relevant or interesting to discuss, I don't talk. So, as I'm pushing my cart down an aisle and a woman is pushing her cart toward me, in that short time period, I probably won't think of anything interesting to talk about. Sure, I can say something generic like, "Hi, how's it going?" and she'll reply with some generic response as she passes, but I would have no idea how to proceed.
Hmm, that's the challenge. Conversation is an art form, and it does take practice. It will really increase your odds of finding a partner, or making friends, if you learn how to kick-start conversations. Pretty much the idea is to start with a general comment (like the one you said in your post), but leave an opening for the conversation to continue ("Hi, how's it going?" cuts the conversation dead before it has begun - a better one would be "Hi, the meat prices are low today hey?" or something that is relevant to where you both are and what you're doing), and then from there you narrow it down to something relevent and interesting. But to open, you have to start general in order to establish that initial connection (like plugging your computer into the power socket - it's boring, but it has to be done), then after that you can talk about more interesting stuff (like programming on your computer once it's up and running) if that makes sense.
The only way really is to practice your conversation whenever you get the chance, and you can also read books on interpersonal communication if you want further info. Personally, my biggest weakness has always been reading body language, so I read a book on body language and it helped me immensely.
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Into the dark...
27 May 2009, 4:40 pm
