Slys dating site advice help thread.

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This is not correct.
Brittany was named Armorica until the Britons from Great Britain
migrated there.







The naming of the British Isles.

Just saw this on FB & thought it was relevant to this thread:

Soliloquist

I was really just pointing out that the word Brit is not used to refer to someone from Brittany.

I know the Romans named us based on the Greeks based probably upon what today we would call Welsh but I had wrongly assumed that since Briton tribes and tribes in what is now France were so interlinked before the Roman conquest and the Romans were coming from that direction that Brittany was called Brittany first.

Obviously when I say they named us what I should have put was they recorded what they called us.

I really like this. Some guys, myself included, have gotten overly obsessed with the notion of getting a girlfriend. I think, however, that I would have been much happier alone if being single wasn't so heavily stigmatised. Without this stigma a lot of people might be happier in their own company.

Agreed, but I think a lot of the stigma is self imposed and internalized vs actual societal pressures to be in a relationship.

Over the years the level that being single has bothered me has fluctuated quite a bit. At least I’m able to have about as active as a sex life as I feel like, though! So, there’s that. In the present, though, I’m rather indifferent about being single and kind of of the mindset that I’d now rather PREFER to remain single because meeting someone I truly click with could sidetrack my plans of returning to University & succeeding academically. Mind you, if I did happen to meet the ideal person I wouldn’t decline, I’d just be abundantly clear that my academic goals are my priority and if they couldn’t work with that we couldn’t date. Whatever, I’ve been single for 35 years so far, so it’s not likely a problem I’ll have to deal with anyways. I do truly appreciate having such long term goals, though, as it’s a genuinely beautiful way to spend one's time vs dwelling on bein single. IMO YMMV

I honestly don't quite understand how one can be feeling mostly positive or neutral about being single and not having any slight longing for a relationship sometimes. Especially because some of us complain about hard times getting their foot in the door and the things you get to do in a relationship (sex, companionship from the other gender), that are either very taboo or less accessible outside a relationship.

Sometimes I do feel that men and women can minimalize the feelings and struggle of those who are unhappy and single. That's one of the reasons why I am not very much a Christian anymore, and have gone crazy sometimes. The theology focuses a lot on obsessing about "sexual sin" in the world, and have even told single people that the desire to have a boyfriend or girlfriend comes from the devil, as with everything else you can "only" do in a relationship. Even in their Bible, Paul lamented that more people can't be single and abstain from relationships. But this makes me closer to a kind of misotheist. I am not an atheist, because I never seriously questioned God's existence.

Speaking of long term goals, I don't think it's as bad to be dissatisfied with being single if it leads to long term self-improvement. When I was younger I realised how undateable I was, given that I had no goals other than collecting and beating video games. While it was a painful pill to swallow, I regained my senses after the sheer shock of it, quit my dead end job and started a real career.

Initially, my interest in career was just to make myself more datable but career soon turned into a goal for its own sake, existing independently of my plans to get a girlfriend.

If a guy's obsession with finding a partner leads to self-improvement in an attempt to make himself more datable, that's a positive outcome.

I just can't understand these guys who act like women are discriminating unfairly just because they have actual standards. They see the problem in themselves then they expect the whole world to change instead of them.

I'll admit that I hated myself. I hated myself for being so undesirable. But I didn't hate women for not desiring me when, at the time, I lived with my mother, worked part time and spent most of my time playing video games.

Your cocky attitude since you got a gf makes me dislike yiu. You’ve became another one of the hypocrites with a SO who tells single men to just shut up and be happy.

I just read a quote today, which comes from the buddhist tradition.

"Desire is suffering".

It blew my mind how brilliant it was.

I didn't say you have to shut up or be happy.

Believe me when I decided to change my job it wasn't because I was happy. I was deeply unhappy.

That was uncalled for, sly.

Retro didn’t say anything cocky. He speaks the truth. We can’t control everyone else and make them attracted to us. What we can control is ourselves by making ourselves more attractive. That’s his whole point and it’s valid.

Different team, but I can sure tell you that the happier, healthier, stronger, and wealthier I become the more others are sexually attracted to me. Same same for Retro and his improvements. Same same for every guy in the history of attracting partners.

Easy. It's only slightly & only sometimes. I can deal with that. I have a lot of really good friends in my life for companionship & I have about as active of a sex life as I'd care to have almost whenever I feel like it, sooo.. it's not that difficult to cope with being single while focusing on work/finances/studies etc when all those other needs are met & I've got goals to work towards. I'm not sure if a relationship would hinder me from achieving my goals or not, and I suppose it would depend on the relationship.. but it's somewhat comforting to think that it'd take up too much time and energy so I'm better off flying solo in order to do the things I want in life. There's always a bright side.

One can be happy single, yet yearn for a mate.

One could feel free from the obligations of relationships, while yearning for a mate.

My wife and I got along this morning—yet I still yearn for the freedom of being single.

As kierkegaard so brilliantly said, no matter what you do, you will regret something.

Honestly kraftie,

In some of your posts, you don’t sound so happily married.

There’s problems in every marriage. That’s just the way it is.