so if you didn't feel like you had to get a girl....

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I like that post from a guy there:

Ok, done with the 14 pages.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/3087240d ... age14.aspx



Final numbers:





I might add data later from other threads, in other sites but won't start till next weekend lol.

Sounds like an enormous waste of time to me. The data you collect is not usable because pof and other dating sites are not a representative sample of the general population.

^ At the very least they are representative of what we find on pof, and probably on other dating sites (they tend to be the same people ffs!).

Now we know why these sites suck. And probably why many of those women are chronically single.

Chill, i am not gonna send this to Science.com.

Basically, some women like to be asked for kiss-approval, others don't. My solution is s smooth transition to kissing, involving things like winks, requests to kiss hands, smiles, etc. If a woman pulls back, it's time to pull back as well. Continue conversing, though.

Said with confidence? Uber sexy. Trembly with desire sexy. Take me NOW sexy. Fade to crashing waves against the sand sexy.

Yeah, this could easily be better than looking for cues. But it would have to be delivered just right.

No, I totally think that's useful. Look, it's a demographic (we have n=2 here saying "trailer trash", but who knows what it really is), it's people with strong opinions obviously, but I think it's interesting. What would be very interesting is that contextualized with numbers from other sites, particularly if that could be repeated every, say, two years. My guess is you'd see the skew higher to "ask" ask you go upmarket, except for "traditional" sites like eharm which has a strongly Christian flavor.

tbh, I'm surprised the "yes ask/whatevs" numbers are as high as they are there.

I did toss it to my daughter as a theoretical this afternoon. She's too young to date, but looked at me like I'd asked a question that didn't quite make sense in English (why would you want someone to kiss you w/o asking?). Her verdict: Ask. Then again, she's also crushingly practical in her reactions to romantic movies, though she pegs people's motives alarmingly well. Her friends seem to be that way, too. Terrifying.

I am trying to find a real job ; so no.

Well, what's curious in the pof thread that a couple of those who were in the 'ask' group called themselves "old-fashioned" for preferring a gentleman who asks.

So we conclude that toddlers are smarter than those ladies?

Toddlers, shall we say, lack nuance.

I'm not at all surprised that the "don't ask!" women identified as "traditional", which also encodes "support me and our children and make me feel very feminine". "Traditional" also lines up pretty well with "churchgoing" in the US -- I had no idea till yesterday, but apparently almost a third of the US population (!) identifies as evangelical Christian, and they tend to be quite retro in their gender roles, man as head of family, woman as helpmeet, and lots take the "obey" part of the marriage vows pretty seriously. The man is supposed to know how to lead.

On its face, it sounds like a dream for men, but it's a dream only if you're cut out to live your whole life in a pretty rigidly-defined way. (Which you don't make up.) Though I used to know a woman in college who topped from bottom, I guess you could say, in her evangelical marriage. She's this very strong personality who went very evangelical in her early 20s, shanghaied this not-real-bright biker dude, and turned him into a Christian breadwinning husband. She still looks happy as a clam in her headcovering scarf, homeschooling and shepherding her brood of children around.

Oh - there's still also "old fashioned" that means "Victorian notepaper with beautiful ladies (whose men support them) who do nothing but wear beautiful gowns and have very large dark eyes and drink tea a lot." It's purely romantic-novel/bodiceripper, a fantasy, but they fancy themselves living this life. Big among poor women who want better.

^^ No no, I mean those who called themselves old fashioned wanted/preferred to be asked before kiss!
Like you, I've excepted those are modern views. but they are saying that "asking first" is an old fashioned thinking.

Example of posts from there:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/3087240d ... age10.aspx


http://forums.plentyoffish.com/3087240d ... page7.aspx


So is the "Go for the kiss" / nonverbal kiss is a modern concept? If yes then I blame Twilight. lol

The bold part, as if I would think to lay my hands on her before making sure she wants it.

o.O the daughter you raised with your ideas agrees with them. who would have thought. o.O

next you're going tell me that a person whos grandparents and parents are christian also believes in god.
or what about anti gun child from a antigun parents.

lets just agree to disagree, there are plenty of women who want to be asked and plenty who don't. maybe its just different person to person and maybe its ok for people to have different wants and things they find ok?

a solution may be to wear a T-shirt that has the words "if you're a hot babe and you'd prefer i kissed you without you having to ask, then just say nothing" emblazoned on it.
one could caption it with a picture of a long tongue protruding from a stylized mouth (like that fellow out of the band "kiss" who had his tongue cut at the back so he could stick it out further).

Here on WP we even disagree to disagree.

I highly doubt she trained her on dating at this age; how she's gonna catch such ideas?

Totally agreed.