If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?

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welcome to WP
anyways, for some of us, that "better person" might be in the next lifetime or the last one, but not so assuredly in this one. after so many decades of living, the karmic pattern becomes somewhat clear.

i don't beleive in other lifes.

but they believe in you.

Are you saying its ok to be negative 24 hrs a day? Why do you think it is harder to be positive? If more people were positive, would it not then be considered harder to be negative? For myself, being negative feels crappy. Why wouldn't I want to try harder to be more positive if it would make me feel better in the end? The brain is going to reflect back what you tell it - constant negative "talk" and your brain is going to believe you want to feel negative - positive thought fed to the brain will make the brain think you want to feel positive. For me, things run much smoother if I maintain a positive mindset, but with a negative mindset nothing seems to go right, everything takes too much energy to do and I'm dragging throughout the day. That's my personal experience anyway. I think if a person is complaining about something then figure out how to fix it. If it can't be fixed then find something positive from the situation or you're going to be miserable your whole life.

^^^
some people simply cannot figure it out, how to make the best of things, they are captives of their lack of insight. a fave quote in that regard, is "People (want to) kill themselves not because they want to die but because they don't know how to live."

I want to be more positive but it's hard. I think my life would be better if I could be more positive.

On the other hand, when I stop being negative sometimes I start getting brash and arrogant. I need to learn to stop doing that as well. I think it's just another type of negativity but with overcompensating added in.

I think to be really positive I have to be positive about other people as well, not just myself. Making favorable comparisons is just as bad as making unfavorable comparisons. Even if I come out the winner in a comparison, if I truly felt good about myself I wouldn't need to point it out.

When I am really cured of depression I can stop saying negative things about myself but also stop pointing out comparisons that make me look good because I won't need such a shallow ego boost. Also, nobody likes a blaggard. I must learn to be more complimentary. It said so in How to Win Friends and Influence People.

being that it is easier for me to be negative than positive, I have to take pains to continue the habit of seeing the silver lining in the dark clouds or [figuratively speaking] at least have an umbrella handy.

As if i haven't been trying to find someone since i was 16...
it took 10+ years of full-on, deliberate effort before i got my first kiss, let alone even more.


Oh yes, i lost count on the amount of times my friends asked me why i gave the girl that was practically throwing herself at me feet the cold shoulder...

there was even a time where i was actively flirting with a girl at a party, but got no response (my perspective), but the next day, my friends said that that very same girl was being as subtle as a sledgehammer in flirting with me, but i didn't respond at all (their perspective).
so we were flirting with each other, both without any subtility at all, but neither realized what the other was doing...

I really don't care for body language, I wish people would just TALK to each other for Christ's sake.

I'm better at seeing the silver lingn for other sand trying to cheer others up.
but I'm also more of a realist. I've seen mistakes happen that I could have avoided. but to point them out before hand is seen as negative. you don't think of worse case situations being positive. and if you dont' thin of them you can't plan for and stop them. do you think the govment think tanks who job it is to do that is made of super positive all the time people.

bob what could happen if there was a earthquake in ____ city

oh you're silly mr prez. they won't be an earthquake ever. stuff is always good, the sun is shinning. lets all hold hands and sing.

then as is real life earthquak happens. what good does ingoring reality do.

I can be a really postive and funny person to be around,b ut so many people get mad at me. see when I'm ppsitive and happy I get hyperactive. I talk more. I want to do things. people prefer me depressed.

be who YOU prefer to be and not what other people want you to be. you gotta be true to YOU.

i guess it is if you have a terminal disease.

Um, that doesn't make sense. How can you improve negatives of your life if you focus on positives?

For example, would you go to a college if you were already happy with your education?

What's wetshaving?

Wetshaving has to do with using hot water, and letting the steam soften the beard.

Am I correct, Sky?

A girl friend will not solve your problems. Getting into a relationship can get open up the door to a host of new problems. I had a relationship where the woman wanted us to do only what she wanted to do. Was always right even over insignificant things. Was always trying to make me spend money I didn't have. Insisted I pay for everything even my own birthday dinner. This relationship ended when she attacked me, literally hit and kicked me.

Eventually what I got out of that is I had had about the worst possible thing happen to me that could possibly happen. (Other than being murdered) Hey! What am I afraid of now? I also know the warning signs to look for.

I can also think back to so many times when a girl showed interest in me and I didn't react. One time in Blockbusters the girl had a sticker on her badge that said rent me. I asked if she was for rent. I really think I was on the verge of getting a date but didn't follow through. But rather than dwelling on the past I find it better to cherish the fond memories I have and work on being better prepared when I do have an encounter. I think that someday I'll tell a woman how I have kicked myself for not seizing opportunities in the past and then say, "But If I had. I never would have met you."