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Parents nosy about your dating life or lack thereof?

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hyperlexian
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29 Aug 2010, 4:42 pm

Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

How can I get someone pregnant when I don't even "finish up" with her? Doesn't pregnancy require sperm or are Aspies able to get anyone pregant just by clicking their fingers?
i won't judge you for now knowig this, but simple penetration can lead to pregnancy. ejaculation is not required.

http://www.steadyhealth.com/Pre_cum___P ... 78339.html


So I guess now that I should take some condoms along, seeing as she doesn't have any at hand. Thats the reason why I went twice without condoms, she had none. Years ago, when I had the first woman, she had some, thats why I wore one.

Basic moral: don't assume that a sex worker will have condoms. Craig - "Duly noted and understood, I will wear a condom, even though its a crap sex session, a complete lack of feeling". No more sex for me, thanks for all that interference.[/quote] okay, that's your choice!


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Craig28
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29 Aug 2010, 4:44 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

How can I get someone pregnant when I don't even "finish up" with her? Doesn't pregnancy require sperm or are Aspies able to get anyone pregant just by clicking their fingers?
i won't judge you for now knowig this, but simple penetration can lead to pregnancy. ejaculation is not required.

http://www.steadyhealth.com/Pre_cum___P ... 78339.html


So I guess now that I should take some condoms along, seeing as she doesn't have any at hand. Thats the reason why I went twice without condoms, she had none. Years ago, when I had the first woman, she had some, thats why I wore one.

Basic moral: don't assume that a sex worker will have condoms. Craig - "Duly noted and understood, I will wear a condom, even though its a crap sex session, a complete lack of feeling". No more sex for me, thanks for all that interference.
okay, that's your choice![/quote]

My choice is to have sex. Not go without.



hyperlexian
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29 Aug 2010, 4:55 pm

Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

How can I get someone pregnant when I don't even "finish up" with her? Doesn't pregnancy require sperm or are Aspies able to get anyone pregant just by clicking their fingers?
i won't judge you for now knowig this, but simple penetration can lead to pregnancy. ejaculation is not required.

http://www.steadyhealth.com/Pre_cum___P ... 78339.html


So I guess now that I should take some condoms along, seeing as she doesn't have any at hand. Thats the reason why I went twice without condoms, she had none. Years ago, when I had the first woman, she had some, thats why I wore one.

Basic moral: don't assume that a sex worker will have condoms. Craig - "Duly noted and understood, I will wear a condom, even though its a crap sex session, a complete lack of feeling". No more sex for me, thanks for all that interference.
okay, that's your choice!


My choice is to have sex. Not go without.[/quote]
errr you just said "no more sex for me". i don't care if you have sex or not.


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Craig28
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29 Aug 2010, 4:57 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

How can I get someone pregnant when I don't even "finish up" with her? Doesn't pregnancy require sperm or are Aspies able to get anyone pregant just by clicking their fingers?
i won't judge you for now knowig this, but simple penetration can lead to pregnancy. ejaculation is not required.

http://www.steadyhealth.com/Pre_cum___P ... 78339.html


So I guess now that I should take some condoms along, seeing as she doesn't have any at hand. Thats the reason why I went twice without condoms, she had none. Years ago, when I had the first woman, she had some, thats why I wore one.

Basic moral: don't assume that a sex worker will have condoms. Craig - "Duly noted and understood, I will wear a condom, even though its a crap sex session, a complete lack of feeling". No more sex for me, thanks for all that interference.
okay, that's your choice!


My choice is to have sex. Not go without.

errr you just said "no more sex for me". i don't care if you have sex or not.[/quote]

But you care if I wear a condom?



hyperlexian
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29 Aug 2010, 5:02 pm

Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

How can I get someone pregnant when I don't even "finish up" with her? Doesn't pregnancy require sperm or are Aspies able to get anyone pregant just by clicking their fingers?
i won't judge you for now knowig this, but simple penetration can lead to pregnancy. ejaculation is not required.

http://www.steadyhealth.com/Pre_cum___P ... 78339.html


So I guess now that I should take some condoms along, seeing as she doesn't have any at hand. Thats the reason why I went twice without condoms, she had none. Years ago, when I had the first woman, she had some, thats why I wore one.

Basic moral: don't assume that a sex worker will have condoms. Craig - "Duly noted and understood, I will wear a condom, even though its a crap sex session, a complete lack of feeling". No more sex for me, thanks for all that interference.
okay, that's your choice!


My choice is to have sex. Not go without.

errr you just said "no more sex for me". i don't care if you have sex or not.


But you care if I wear a condom?[/quote]
it's up to you of course. but you lacked the knowedge to make an informed decision.

you also said you had unprotected sex to get back at your family. if you are going to share details like that on a public forum, people will tell you when they find your behaviour unconscionable. you can't just ACT without having people REACT.


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Craig28
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29 Aug 2010, 5:08 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

How can I get someone pregnant when I don't even "finish up" with her? Doesn't pregnancy require sperm or are Aspies able to get anyone pregant just by clicking their fingers?
i won't judge you for now knowig this, but simple penetration can lead to pregnancy. ejaculation is not required.

http://www.steadyhealth.com/Pre_cum___P ... 78339.html


So I guess now that I should take some condoms along, seeing as she doesn't have any at hand. Thats the reason why I went twice without condoms, she had none. Years ago, when I had the first woman, she had some, thats why I wore one.

Basic moral: don't assume that a sex worker will have condoms. Craig - "Duly noted and understood, I will wear a condom, even though its a crap sex session, a complete lack of feeling". No more sex for me, thanks for all that interference.
okay, that's your choice!


My choice is to have sex. Not go without.

errr you just said "no more sex for me". i don't care if you have sex or not.


But you care if I wear a condom?

it's up to you of course. but you lacked the knowedge to make an informed decision.

you also said you had unprotected sex to get back at your family. if you are going to share details like that on a public forum, people will tell you when they find your behaviour unconscionable. you can't just ACT without having people REACT.[/quote]

People here have to realise that I have a life too, Aspie or no Aspie, I have a life. What I do here in the UK won't affect you in Canada. My god, I just realised something as I took a sip of my drink! I forgot, until now. While I was with her, she tried to put me into her behind, not wearing a condom, I didn't let her do it. Even with one on, I find the idea of this area of sex gross to the extreme. I kept a very close eye on where I was at all times after this.



pezar
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29 Aug 2010, 5:56 pm

She's hinting that you should get married and give her lots of in-wedlock grandbabies. Some NTs hint at stuff like this instead of being direct. That drives aspies crazy. Your mom and her mom sound like really hard core fundamentalist Christians, and they can be a nightmare to deal with. I would suggest that you start making your own money and move out ASAP so you don't have to be financially reliant on mom.



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29 Aug 2010, 8:39 pm

pezar wrote:
She's hinting that you should get married and give her lots of in-wedlock grandbabies. Some NTs hint at stuff like this instead of being direct. That drives aspies crazy. Your mom and her mom sound like really hard core fundamentalist Christians, and they can be a nightmare to deal with. I would suggest that you start making your own money and move out ASAP so you don't have to be financially reliant on mom.


*sigh* I figured. Look, I can't even keep a boyfriend over two months. I don't know how she thinks I'll get married anytime soon. Even if I told her tomorrow that I'm engaged, she'd still freak out because I would have been hiding stuff from her. She's a preacher's daughter so she's very strict about religious values. I'll be starting that when I graduate in the spring, when I can make more money than minimum wage. I still need to work on getting my driver's license too. D:



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30 Aug 2010, 9:21 pm

Quote:
She's hinting that you should get married and give her lots of in-wedlock grandbabies. Some NTs hint at stuff like this instead of being direct. That drives aspies crazy. Your mom and her mom sound like really hard core fundamentalist Christians, and they can be a nightmare to deal with. I would suggest that you start making your own money and move out ASAP so you don't have to be financially reliant on mom.


I've never had plans to get married. If it happens, it happens, but no aspirations. The only plans I have that are remotely marriage related require that it be a wedding in Las Vegas, at a chapel, and Elvis must be the minister. Elvis could also be the best man if we have another Elvis.

As far as the parents thing goes, I can empathise. My parents are beyond the point of nagging and have pretty much given up and accepted me as being a perpetual bachelor. They were really annoying in high school --- "you should ask her out" --- "she's cute". They even asked me once if I was gay. I know there is nothing wrong with being of either sexual preference, but it is offensive for someone to have to ask your sexual preference, as if they didn't know.

Now I just wonder why all my peers are getting married. I don't get the sense of urgency or the fanfare given to it. Why is it even something that people think is expected of you? Some of them are even having kids. :roll: Its f'n rediculous. Sometimes I feel like all these people are just rabbits multiplying and getting fat on rabbit feed.



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30 Aug 2010, 9:34 pm

xsolar47 wrote:

Now I just wonder why all my peers are getting married. I don't get the sense of urgency or the fanfare given to it. Why is it even something that people think is expected of you? Some of them are even having kids. :roll: Its f'n rediculous. Sometimes I feel like all these people are just rabbits multiplying and getting fat on rabbit feed.


My mom was like that in high school too. "Do you have a date for homecoming?"

"I'm going with a friend."

"Awwww, do you like him?"

No! Dammit, I just said he was my friend. Or if I didn't have a date, we'd go back into the cycle of "why can't you meet a nice boy?" I know nice boys, they are my friends and I intend to keep them that way because neither party would be interested. :/

Would I like to get married someday? Yes. I just want to do it on my terms, not because mommy wants grandbabies. She can wait. It's not like she has a fatal disease or anything. D:



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10 Sep 2010, 6:17 pm

I am seriously contemplating telling my family it is none of their business to ask me about my personal life. :twisted: If I bring up the topic, we can discuss it, but if I don't, they aren't allowed to ask me about it.

It's not that I am embarassed about it or anything, I just don't want to hear their advice about how to "fix" my personal life. I am perfectly happy the way it is. Every time they tell me I just need to find a "good girl", I feel they are judging me and my decisions to be single, and it just makes me feel bad. :cry:



Alla
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13 Sep 2010, 12:21 pm

Augh! This topic bothers me a lot lately.

I am 28 years old and my family is very conservative about love matters. My mom is a little better, but my dad and the rest of the family are very set in their ways and have set ideas about what love should be and what a woman's role is in it.
To them, a woman has sex with a guy only if she is seriously contemplating marriage with him. They also know very little about the various types of birth control and think that The Pill if for those women who are sluts!,( especially the older familymembers)
My lifestyle is such that I know my family would disown me if I told them. I have told them that I do not plan to have children, which they smile at and tell me "you will change your mind" (my reply is, "yeah, whatever"). I am also polyamorous (never had a problem with this) and this would surely make them disown me. The men I usually go for are usually in touch with their feminine side and they would consider these guys gay (they are by no means that!)
So, what is a 28-year-old woman to do than to just keep this information from them? I am lucky in that I live abroad and they can't see whhat I do, who I'm with, and where I go. I could not date while I was living with them up until college.
When they ask now, I just tell them "these things are personal. End the discussion". They get angry sometimes but repeting this every time they ask has led to fewer questioning attempts lately.



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13 Sep 2010, 12:23 pm

Oh yes, my mum's always asking me if I have a girlfriend yet and such, gets annoying quickly. She also seems to think that whenever I use my phone, I'm talking to my new girlfriend or something. TBH, I wish she was right :roll:

Alla wrote:
I have told them that I do not plan to have children, which they smile at and tell me "you will change your mind" (my reply is, "yeah, whatever").


Exactly the same here. I hate that.



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13 Sep 2010, 1:00 pm

My father has never asked me, but my mother of cause sees that I'm frustrated sometimes. She once told me I should see a prostitute...



Erisad
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13 Sep 2010, 1:25 pm

Alla wrote:
Augh! This topic bothers me a lot lately.

I am 28 years old and my family is very conservative about love matters. My mom is a little better, but my dad and the rest of the family are very set in their ways and have set ideas about what love should be and what a woman's role is in it.
To them, a woman has sex with a guy only if she is seriously contemplating marriage with him. They also know very little about the various types of birth control and think that The Pill if for those women who are sluts!,( especially the older familymembers)
My lifestyle is such that I know my family would disown me if I told them. I have told them that I do not plan to have children, which they smile at and tell me "you will change your mind" (my reply is, "yeah, whatever"). I am also polyamorous (never had a problem with this) and this would surely make them disown me. The men I usually go for are usually in touch with their feminine side and they would consider these guys gay (they are by no means that!)
So, what is a 28-year-old woman to do than to just keep this information from them? I am lucky in that I live abroad and they can't see whhat I do, who I'm with, and where I go. I could not date while I was living with them up until college.
When they ask now, I just tell them "these things are personal. End the discussion". They get angry sometimes but repeting this every time they ask has led to fewer questioning attempts lately.


Ugh. That sucks. I know people who take birth control for other reasons besides to prevent pregnancy. Hell, my roomie has polycystic ovaries (not sure on spelling) and she takes birth control to help with her symptoms.

I do plan to have children, just not now. I'm not in a hurry to lose my virginity and I wonder why my mom just doesn't believe me. Is she really so insecure in her parenting abilities? :/

Good thing you are abroad though. It does wonders keeping them out of the loop. I live at college now, it's my last year sadly, and it's my only time I've ever truly experienced freedom and the ability to make my own choices. it's great. Now after I graduate, I'll have to surrender that a bit until I move out. D:

Power to ya! Let's hope our parents get a clue about this stuff.



Alla
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13 Sep 2010, 3:45 pm

Quote:
Ugh. That sucks. I know people who take birth control for other reasons besides to prevent pregnancy. Hell, my roomie has polycystic ovaries (not sure on spelling) and she takes birth control to help with her symptoms.


Well, of course. I know a few women who have to take them because they are anemic! But even if they take it to prevent pregnancy, what does the Pill have to do with being a slut?
Sometimes I honestly don't understand their reasoning capacity.......and a few of my family members are very educated, but not in sex it seems.

Quote:
Good thing you are abroad though. It does wonders keeping them out of the loop. I live at college now, it's my last year sadly, and it's my only time I've ever truly experienced freedom and the ability to make my own choices. it's great. Now after I graduate, I'll have to surrender that a bit until I move out.


I was exactly in your position when I was 21.....living at home with them until I finished college at 23 and then moved aborad for a graduate degree. I can say that I learned more about myself in these few years that I have been living alone than I have in my entire lifetime. My advice to you is that after yoou finish college, perhaps work for a year and then take a year to travel the world while you are still in your 20s. It does wonders to your self-esteem and teaches you so much about the world which you won't learn by being in one place all the time.

My parents are really good in terms of other stuff and they and I are quite close. It is just that this sex issue has always been a thorny aspect in my relationship with them. I envy other women who can tell their mothers (and sometimes fathers) about who they are dating, etc. I never got any sort of "talk" while I was a teen. I think the least parents can do these days is to tell their kids to use protection.

Power to ya! Let's hope our parents get a clue about this stuff.[/quote]