Ladies - is not wanting a toned body on a partner abnormal?

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franisco
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09 Oct 2010, 1:28 am

Y'all have given me a renewed hope in life (not really though)

I developed a sort of complex cause of my build. I feel intimidating. Like if I were to touch you I would break you. I dont touch people. My larger frame and hairy everything define me as a man. They say "you should play football, drive a truck, and drink beer" and I say "I dont want that. get away from me!". but I guess Im a man. I wish they would stop painting my people as idiots in all the TV shows though.

hyperlexian
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09 Oct 2010, 10:07 am

franisco wrote:

'gentle giants' (sorry, don't mean to sterotype you even further) are definitely attractive to lots of women i think. for me, it is different if the man cultivates big muscles, as opposed to just being a man with a big build. it is nice that you are careful about your strength, and i believe that lots of women would be drawn to that.

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Grisha
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09 Oct 2010, 11:03 am

LK wrote:

Well, I find both photos in the original post very unattractive, but I find the second one even more unattractive. That said, I don't think it's abnormal for a female to like male bodies that are not toned. I have heard women say they think chubby men are cute often enough. I do not share these feelings, but I like skinny, scrawny men, and I find the muscular, toned look highly unattractive.

This gives me a little hope too - I always thought that being a skinny guy was socially identical to being an overweight/obese girl - it is a total deal-breaker and must be changed

I have a very thin build and I have to work hard not to look "frail" although being middle-aged is helping a bit, but I will never be "big" - it's physically impossible

I think a little feedback would help me to overcome my insecurity: ignoring the fact that I look like an Aspie poster-child, does anyone here think I look "date-able" from a purely physical standpoint, at least for women who don't only like big/hairy men?

Any constructive criticism would be deeply appreciated.

hyperlexian
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09 Oct 2010, 12:00 pm

Grisha wrote:

LK wrote:

This gives me a little hope too - I always thought that being a skinny guy was socially identical to being an overweight/obese girl - it is a total deal-breaker and must be changed

I have a very thin build and I have to work hard not to look "frail" although being middle-aged is helping a bit, but I will never be "big" - it's physically impossible

I think a little feedback would help me to overcome my insecurity: ignoring the fact that I look like an Aspie poster-child, does anyone here think I look "date-able" from a purely physical standpoint, at least for women who don't only like big/hairy men?

Any constructive criticism would be deeply appreciated.

hell, yeah! most definitely. in addition to a great physique, you also have a fascinating demeanour.

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sluice
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09 Oct 2010, 12:56 pm

Cool t-shirt.

I seem to be more intimidating to guys than to women. Probably something about being anxious around strange women, and then being more of a goof-off when I get to know them.

Last edited by sluice on 09 Oct 2010, 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Grisha
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09 Oct 2010, 1:06 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

Grisha wrote:

LK wrote:

This gives me a little hope too - I always thought that being a skinny guy was socially identical to being an overweight/obese girl - it is a total deal-breaker and must be changed

I have a very thin build and I have to work hard not to look "frail" although being middle-aged is helping a bit, but I will never be "big" - it's physically impossible

I think a little feedback would help me to overcome my insecurity: ignoring the fact that I look like an Aspie poster-child, does anyone here think I look "date-able" from a purely physical standpoint, at least for women who don't only like big/hairy men?

Any constructive criticism would be deeply appreciated.

hell, yeah! most definitely. in addition to a great physique, you also have a fascinating demeanour.

Aw, thanks! Then why am I a complete failure at dating? I regularly get turned down for "pre-dates" (coffee), although admittedly I don't ask very often. As for my demeanor, I would personally describe it as "Aspie Creep", the adjective "fascinating" never occured to me - but it feels good to hear it - thanks! :-)

hyperlexian
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09 Oct 2010, 1:40 pm

Grisha wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

hell, yeah! most definitely. in addition to a great physique, you also have a fascinating demeanour.

you're welcome! i don't have a creep-o-meter that excludes aspie men from potential attractiveness in my eyes. i think it may also be because i come across as creepy sometimes. not easy for a woman to be considered creepy, but occasionally i manage it!

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CockneyRebel
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09 Oct 2010, 3:13 pm

I don't care if my partner turns out to be toned, or not. Just as long as he has a good personality.

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GrimmRomance
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09 Oct 2010, 4:09 pm

@Grisha: Purely based on your appearance? You're very date-able! Absolutely. If I hadn't been in a very happy relationship, I wouldn't mind going on a date with you. You look like a nice guy too.

Grisha
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09 Oct 2010, 4:13 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

Grisha wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

hell, yeah! most definitely. in addition to a great physique, you also have a fascinating demeanour.

I kind of LIKE "creepy" as long as it's in a creative/artsy sort of way, I may even have the courage to talk to someone like that because my curiosity would overwhelm my fear - but I never see women like this, ever.

For some reason all I ever see are generic gum-chewing "alphas" with their noses stuck to their cellphone - nothing at all wrong with them per se, but totally unattractive/uninteresting to me...

Anyway, this thread kind of reinforced the notion that my problem isn't primarily my physical appearance.

Moog
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09 Oct 2010, 5:13 pm

This is what girls want:

Or not.

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CockneyRebel
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09 Oct 2010, 5:57 pm

I know what guy I want. Unfortunately, I was born 30 years too late. He's not toned by a long shot. In fact, some would say that he was chubby.

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Grisha
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09 Oct 2010, 6:31 pm

Moog wrote:

This is what girls want:

Or not.

I understand your point, but as an Aspie music lover it's almost sacrilegious! ;-)

Iggy/The Stooges are/were amazing, poetic, prophetic...

But I think there are other forums on WP for that.

@CockneyRebel: Love the Kinks too, got to see them live once! They failed to play "You Really Got Me" and when the encores were done and the lights went up, nobody moved - the audience refused to leave until they played it (they did) never saw anything like it before/since.

We now return you to your orginally scheduled thread...

Pistonhead
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09 Oct 2010, 6:48 pm

We shouldn't return to the thread, it's been brought to my attention that opinions regarding people's appearance should be kept quiet to promote self-value and discourage insecurity :lol: