Love and Dating Positivity Thread

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hyperlexian
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15 Oct 2010, 5:19 pm

Janissy wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Janissy wrote:

This is why I'm convinced your problem is mainly demographic. You come across as the type women call a Cuddlebear. To women who want adventure, this is a turn-off. To women who want security and domesticity, this is a turn-on. Your greatest problem is that you have positioned yourself in a place where you won't meet these women. This is your biggest hurdle. Believe me, though it seems insurmountable, it is a molehill of a hurdle compared to what some are facing. I wish I knew how to help you cross this hurdle because I think a moderately religious, clingy woman who just wants a family and a husband who won't cheat and likes snuggling is right on the other side. Once you cross that hurdle and get yourself to a more amenable demographic place, you will probably be married within 5 or so years. It's getting to that place which is the challenge. And for that I honestly don't know where to point you. But perhaps fate will intervene and some job offer somehwere else after you graduate will yank you out of this safe-zone you are trapped in and into a new demographic.

I'm still wondering if such a type of woman even exists...

They exist in far greater numbers than you think. My college roomate was one. And she dated a man who seemed an awful lot like you (or the "you" that I am envisioning based on posts). They would sit in the dorm room and call each other "pumpkin" and "bunny" while I jammed headphones on my ears in the hopes I could drown them out with Led Zeppelin. When I went out to parties and clubs I would try to drag them along but they would insist on staying in the common room instead and watching TV and eating popcorn. I thought it looked like the most boring relationship ever. But it was perfect for both of them. My memory of it was probably what you are aching for now. It's not such an uncommon type of woman.

However, she's not at your church. She's at some other church somewhere else. Which is why I'm hoping that you get a job offer to some faraway place that forces you to find a new church in another town where you will have a chance to meet new people who are different yet similar in wants. The type of woman who would be most compatible with you is really not that rare at all. But you will have to get out of your safety zone.

yes, true. another church.

also maybe consider slightly older women who have already proven that they are good christian girls who have similar values to yours. younger women are still discovering themselves and may not be committed to the same things as you for the long term. the kind of stable, chaste (?), commitment you seek might not be something that an 18-year old girl would want. but a girl who is closer to the average age of marriage, like mid to late-20s, might be looking for something calmer and gentler in her life. a woman like that is already showing that she is willing to wait for just the right guy to come along.

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ToadOfSteel
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15 Oct 2010, 5:21 pm

well, not necessarily chaste... im not a fundamentalist or otherwise have my head up my ass about that. I know that the average woman is likely to have acquired at least some sexual experience. But her experience level is unimportant to me, as long as she won't judge me for my lack thereof...

Asp-Z
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16 Oct 2010, 4:07 am

Sallamandrina wrote:

Asp-Z who's so level-headed and mature.

I really am flattered at all these comments, thank you

aussiebloke
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16 Oct 2010, 7:54 pm

I guess where alone Sunshower in our mutual admiration of Loner Mutant yes ?

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aussiebloke
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16 Oct 2010, 8:37 pm

Erisad wrote:

spongy wrote:

Erisad Your posts have improved a lot lately(probably due the flame wars you got into) and I see you are making an effort at finding out what your problems are and trying to solve them, good luvk on that.

Thanks. *waves flame wars veteran badge* :lol:

Spongy, you are a very smart and helpful fellow. ^_^

Hyperlexian - For being so helpful and nice regardless of what's thrown your way.
Pistonhead - You're a good guy, whether you want to admit it or not.

I'm blanking right now so I'll add more when I think of them.

If I recall correctly when she 1st came here she was in a state of melt down, she's not alone their! (depressive /new meds ) on a fat aspie thread looking for advise on losing weight when she asks if I should be a *ing vegan. Well why not I say:

www.scienzavegetariana.it/medici/epic_eng.html -

At the risk of sounding holier than though and a self righteous * that goes around accusing people of being a baby killer it does surprise me that aspies that claim their wildly empathic towards animals yet they still eat them speciesism seems completely illogical to me .

If she's serious about losing weight she will take heed of the studies. I'm not sure why any one would not consider it , it's not like you miss out on anything , these days the analogues are so good their often better than the animal based products eg theirs a UK chef (who's name I can't recall- will track him down) has both a vegie and omnivorous restaurants /cook books and on one of his (meatie) cook books he suggests people use the veggie black pudding as he claims it's superior! ironically it's made by a butcher sold in his butcher shop. Anyway I'll stop now that's a discussion for another day.

PS Oreos the best industrial cookie ever are vegan bet you would never have imagined yes?

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Erisad
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17 Oct 2010, 8:20 am

aussiebloke wrote:

Erisad wrote:

spongy wrote:

Thanks. *waves flame wars veteran badge* :lol:

I'm blanking right now so I'll add more when I think of them.

I thought this thread was only for compliments. The OP says that even constructive criticism isn't supposed to be here since there are other threads for that. I don't need someone pressuring me into becoming a vegan, okay? >.<

techstepgenr8tion
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17 Oct 2010, 2:31 pm

See Machete on page 1.

Erisad
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17 Oct 2010, 2:36 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

See Machete on page 1.

I'm being good, I swear! >.<

hyperlexian
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17 Oct 2010, 2:37 pm

Erisad wrote:

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

See Machete on page 1.

I'm being good, I swear! >.<

no i think he was offering you the machete to use against the negativity.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Oct 2010, 2:53 pm

sunshower wrote:

I wanted to put in a comment for Samtoo also.

Samtoo I see you as a beautiful soul and I hope you can search within and outside yourself to find happiness in your life.

TimTex, you are resilient, determined, and a kind person who cares about others. I know you've had many struggles over the past year and I've admired the way you've kept your head up and kept going even through the most difficult times.

techstepgenr8tion, you've always got something interesting and informative to say, and you're great fun to exchange "posts" conversation with.

LonerMutant, you are not afraid to be yourself and speak your mind, and you hold your own opinions without actively forcing them on others. I admire that in a person.

hale-bopp, I am a secret fan of yours :lol:

keep on being you

ToadOfSteel, I like and admire you, you're a person who's got so much going for them, you're kind, open-minded, and a talented singer (from what I can determine) I wish for you also to see that in yourself, to be able to see what a great person you are.

~Also, thankyou everyone for your kind words.

hyperlexian
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17 Oct 2010, 3:01 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

sunshower wrote:

Boo, do you need more hugs?
{{{{{awkward aspie huggles}}}}}

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Erisad
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17 Oct 2010, 3:08 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

Erisad wrote:

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

See Machete on page 1.

I'm being good, I swear! >.<

no i think he was offering you the machete to use against the negativity.

Yaaaaay!

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Oct 2010, 3:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

sunshower wrote:

Boo, do you need more hugs?
{{{{{awkward aspie huggles}}}}}

hyperlexian
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17 Oct 2010, 3:26 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

sunshower wrote:

Boo, do you need more hugs?
{{{{{awkward aspie huggles}}}}}

i'll take that chance!! !

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techstepgenr8tion
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17 Oct 2010, 3:27 pm

Erisad wrote:

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

See Machete on page 1.

I'm being good, I swear! >.<

That was more to who you were responding to.

I see that post got followed up by more pity partying though. I'd say its a shame but - I guess utterly inevitable - that people will need to criticize or whine in a positivity thread. No one's saying that anyone in this thread is great in all respects, no one is saying that they don't necessarily have specific hang ups in their logic - that's all well and good, its just that this thread is NOT that designated time and place.

B-b-b-but I have my rights! I can post anywhere I want! Great. Can I reserve the right to be a d--- when I see people who utterly disagree that personal integrity is a good thing? Call me an old fashion or biggoted maybe, I used to be like some of these guys but... I can see it in childhood or your teens when you're still reacting rather than thinking by no fault of your own but... I can't relate to anyone who's still acting like this in their 20's and 30's.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Oct 2010, 3:31 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

sunshower wrote:

Boo, do you need more hugs?
{{{{{awkward aspie huggles}}}}}

i'll take that chance!! !

What if I am the next Boo face victim?

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