have you ever been a target of a PUA (pick-up artist)?

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I've never been a target of a PUA, I've only been on the seducer side of it.

I don't know what tips to really offer other than to take your time, simply because the majority of seducers are in some hurry and want to seduce you NOW and don't want to date you for a month. However, I must tell you, a certain minority of seducers are very patient and will lead you along for as long as it takes, for months on end even, and in one extreme case recently I saw a woman strung along for two years!

The other thing about seducers is they are always magically a perfect match for you. This is a trick in which the seducer will find out beforehand what you like and dislike, and then will profess a strong like/dislike of that very same thing later on, which makes you feel like they are your soul-mate. The seducer will appear to have no flaws, nothing to concern you, nothing to stop you from falling under their spell......

Seducers are chameleon-like in personality and will (temporarily) mold themselves to be your perfect match.

I don't think that is really true. Many men and women will use PUA techniques even if they are not the hard core 7 girls a week PUAs



b. Good advice but again a less hard core PUA might well be prepared to wait as they are probably having sex with other people as well.

thank you. i had mixed feelings about it, and wondered if i made a mistake talking about this. i feel better now. i just needed to relax a bit and let people talk lol.

i think you have hit the core of the issue there - PUA are successful because their targets may have some underlying or pre-existing issues.

To answer the OP, yes. Twice I believe but I can not really be sure because the problem with this is you cannot prove that they were doing this.

I had a male friend back in 2006. He pretty much seduced me and was very vague about what was happening and when I asked him where we stood he pretty much stonewalled me with silence and vague statements.

I knew he was travelling overseas anyway soon so I didnt expect a relationship but I did expect him to behave like an adult about the whole thing.

I was actually bound for the same country as him and I arrived there 6 months later.

I met up with him and he asked me to come out for a drink. He then proceeded to flirt with all the females he could in front of me, and then when I was upset he said I had no right to be.

Then we went together, as friends to this engagement party of mutual friends which was out of town, and he tried to book a room with a double bed for us, and I said "What for? I thought we were just friends now." and he said "What do you think for?" and I said "Im not just going to become available to you when you feel like it. I wanted to go out with you and you said no." He was silent.

Then at the party he split off from me and tried to seduce all the women he could see.

I even saw him flirting with this girl in a very low cut top. Her boyfriend was with them and I could see a look of amazement on they boyfriend's face, that the guy was flirting with her right in front of him like he wasnt there.

Later on I heard all these stories about him from people at the party. Apparently he pretty much left a trail of destruction behind him wherever he went. I was shocked at the things I found out, I knew he was a casanova but the dishonesty apparently spread further than the relationship sphere, that is all I am going to say.

To this day I dont know what he thinks or what goes on in his mind. All I know is that if I see anyone behaving like him, I will do all in my power to stop them.

Things like drugs and alcohol can make you more susceptive to suggestions.

thank you so much for sharing your story. i think it makes sense that we both had such a visceral reaction to the idea of PUA being used for anything helpful or productive. we got to see that stuff from a certain seedy side and experienced the negativity that can come from it.

This explains why you're the number one PUA assaulter.

Who, me or Hyper?


BTW I have only talked about one of the experiences I had. The other one is far worse.

Who, me or Hyper?


BTW I have only talked about one of the experiences I had. The other one is far worse.

yeah, MollyTroubletail said the same thing about time.

also true about not excluding women based on their looks or age. men who are seeking casual sex will often go for women who are older or softer etc.

YW. Yes I really cant see anything good about it. If someone wants to learn social skills I would have thought the best way would be to learn a bit more about what is going on in the social world and how to empathise with people better. This seems to achieve the opposite of this.

Actually I am chameleon-like in personality and can (temporarily) mold myself to be someone's perfect match in conversation or something else, but I use it to help people and can't get it past my conscience to use it to be a heartbreaker or something else negative.

I do understand more of the social world through reading between the lines, which a PUA does. It works like magic if you want to get things done though

So, it's about how you use the abilities and not that you can.

They might be able to wait but if you have been dating them for that long one should hope you will have heard all the dirt on them from their family and friends- it is so important to meet peoples family and friends!! ! (I didnt find out my daughters dad had 4 other kids till I was pregnant, if I had met his family before I would have known, he wasnt a PUA but a sociopath).

People may still try PUA with older women, but in my experence they dont lol, when i was a teen and early 20s I couldnt go in a shop without some guy foisting his phone number on me, now I can even walk round late at night and be left alone as I look like their mother and its not sexy. Saying that I had a creepy handy man come round who was trying to get me to have sex with him but I just said no firmly and it was fine, I think there is nothing so useful as a firm 'no'. All girls should be given assertiveness courses really.

yeah, i give advice to my daughter that you are never just dating an individual - you are dating the whole family (or at least the family baggage the future mate is carrying around). good to hear from friends too; if i had consulted with my future husband before hooking up with that man i would have heard an earful.

the firm 'no' is a very good idea. i am still working on that.