Have you NEVER had a girlfriend. If so, why?

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Problem with Internet dating sites is that there are a lot of dim people, a lot of possessive crazies and bloodsuckers, a lot of single mothers and an awful lot of women suffering from trust issues ("looking for an HONEST man" is a favourite). Most times, one will be rejected in any case. I found Internet dating to be far more stress than it was ever worth.

I've never had a boyfriend because I haven't really ever pursued one that hard... Or really at all. And none have ever pursued me.

And for the people who say it's because of their body odour and stuff... Why not just bathe?

I have only bothered pursuing two girls. I was too nervous to impress the first one, and the second one simply didn't/doesn't want a boyfriend.

They probably have; you probably just weren't that interested. And a lot of the guys that would are probably just creepy users in any case.



Very true; it goes without saying that one should at least be clean and not smelly?

Yeah. Well I just remembered this one guy kind of did. But it was all in the same day, so it doesn't really count.

You'd think! Yet I saw some people on here saying they can't get girls because they smell.

Those sorts of people are beyond help.

I can never get past the friend zone with girls I like...

I dont get it, I'm supposed to make them laugh; I can do that. Girls like guys with some muscle; I work out a little to tone mine. Girls like smart guys; I'm fairly intellectual. girls like guys who care about others; and everyone says I'm a kind person

But Noooooo, NOBODY wants to be with me. The only girl whoever did decided to run back to her boyfriend after stealing second from me. Then decides she needs to be "best friends" with because "you understand me and can relate to my problems"... Crawls to me to cry when she argues with her boyfriend and skips straight back to him when he tells her the same "You are my one and only girl my love and my future wifey and I love you<3" (actual quote) bull****.

Sigh... I know I sound bitter about all this. I really did like her, though, she's an amazing girl. She has some flaws but then again, everyone does... oh well, next time I'm making sure that she's single before I start attracting her..

Don't give women like that the time of day. You're allowing them to use you to moan about their problems while her boyfriend gets the girl. Just cut them out of your life; you're allowing yourself to be used here.

I deleted my original post. It came from a feeling of dispair. I'm not proud of myself. I hope those of you who actually read the original post weren't dragged down by it. I've had a very hard week. And I am more than a little overwhelmed. I have trouble interacting with women. As a consequence I have never really had a GF. I want to share something meaningful with someone. I just don't know how. I don't think my chances of attracting a mate are very good. I have a lot of damage. I don't exude sex appeal. I wish I had been born NT or female or both. All three options would have probably increased my odds.

Last edited by Namazu on 26 Jul 2011, 11:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Last edited by Namazu on 26 Jul 2011, 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Another problem I have is that I have a hard time determining the age of some people. I'll be talking to a girl and many times, I can't tell if she's 17 or 24. There have been a couple of times where a girl I was interested that I could have sworn was in her early/mid 20s turned out to be 17/18. This deters me quite a bit because I don't want to ask someone out only to have them be waaay too young.

I'm relatively attractive (so they say) and sociable but I just don't feel like expending all my energy on attracting and keeping a girlfriend until I feel like I've got the rest of my life sorted out. It's not that I'm asexual or anything, I'm just not interested in making the effort right now, when I've got a whole bunch of other things to juggle in the first place.

Nope. Of course, I'm only a teenager, so you have to take that into account

There were maybe two or three girls with whom I was very close and could have asked out if I had wanted to. But I didn't, because I could always find a fatal flaw in the relationship and that knowledge would dismiss any advantage I saw in dating them. It wouldn't be fair, I thought, to her or to me, for me to ask her out when I knew it would end and possibly why. So we would just dance on the edge of the friend zone, and I was OK with that.

But I always reserved a hope that some new light would be shed on our relationship or their personality so that my analytical brain would reconsider dating them. But that never happened, and the relationships would usually disintegrate within a year or two's time when the flaws were too obvious to ignore for us both.

Well if I knew why, I would already have a girlfriend by now.

> push them away and run for the hills
> no more.

Yep

I'm 23 and have never had anything. Anything at all.

I'm not sure why. I go to a college where the "queer" students are basically one of the elite cliques, so it attracts a lot of openly LGBT people, and the student body has a female majority (Warren Wilson College in Asheville, NC), and I'm a member of several different student groups and have a fairly good-sized circle of friends/acquaintences (I mean, good-sized for a probable Aspie). I'm nice, friendly, and not unnattractive. But other girls treat me like I'm a pet hamster, they tell me about all their relationship troubles and cry on me and so on, but they seem to take it for granted that I have no interest myself, that I must be asexual. This seems to be a problem for a lot of people, just from reading through this thread.

This may be because I look and act rather goody-goody or childish, and because I won't be interested if they don't meet my standards (which I, personally, don't think are very high...). Also, if a girl DID flirt with me, I wouldn't notice, especially if they're emotional sinks (that's a friend's phrase) - they take advantage of a listener, go all dramatic all over the place, and might try to get close but by that time you're trying to get away because you're totally lost

I'm desperately lonely. But I want trustworthy, affectionate love in a relationship, which is what I can offer, which isn't what other girls seem to want...? They want all these idealized things (I know, they tell me all the time...) and newness and excitement, I think. Which I don't. I've met nice girls, who agree with me, but again, they don't show any interest. I've tried to flirt and tell a girl I like her before, but they've always misunderstood, totally not noticed, or been offended...