Constant rejection from women is making me suicidal

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Focus on something else is all I have to suggest.

I don't think this issue is constrained to 'nice guys', . Most guys are this way. Difference is 'nice' guys pretend otherwise, and get mad when it doesn't work out. Other guys cut their losses and just move on.

According to a Psychology Today article, those who see women they meet as potential girlfriends tend to be more successful relationship-wise with females. Of course, treating them as "regular people" and not as a "I must act as if I were walking on egg shells so as not too offend!" type of person tends to be a more successful strategy.

Also, "move on" attitude is right. The "move on" attitude implies a sense of indifference about the females' approval which, ironically, increases your attractiveness. And, plus, it increases the number of itmes you "bat". The more times you bat, the more home runs you'll get.

Last edited by swbluto on 30 Jul 2011, 1:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

That might work for players and sociable NTs, but for an aspie who constantly rejected, approaching a stranger female with the hope that she might be "the one" instead of "hey, would be nice to get to know someone new" will only lead to heartbreak.

and the walking on eggshells thing is the "nice guy" approach and it never works.

I guess I sounded a little crazy and should probably left the thread alone. I just wanted to help. I'm not very smart, or even wise I'm afraid. I hope you read everyone else's posts. They have good advice. Getting help is a much better idea than going it alone. Sorry for sounding like a freak. *runs and hides.*

Please read what I have to say. Reread it until you understand the message it conveys. PM if you would like me to explain any of the points I am attempting to make. I will afford you whatever time you ask of me.

I have identified several reasons why you are not in, and have not been in a relationship. To start with the most pressing issue;
Acting, and more importantly, feeling that women are all lying manipulative b*****s is probably your biggest issue. You get to decide how you percieve the world, how you feel about things, what you do and what you say about them. No woman has ever corrupted you. No person, besides yourself, has the power to influence you in this regard. You have to do it. And you have, you have allowed the actions and words of other people to drastically alter your perception. And you have the power, and you alone, to fix this.
I could rail against you with the most potent venomous words I can muster, and you have to power to ignore it, to disregard it, to feel no sting or insult or injury. Nothing I or anyone else does can affect you unless you willingly choose to allow it to affect you. This is your choice, and yours alone. And I don't believe you know that yet. Learn it, and live it.

Another major issue you are likely experiencing is self confidence. You, like most people, probably are not aware of real self confidence. It does not come from success, it does not come from good looks, or a nice car, it does not come from talent or money. These things and more can make some behave in a confident manner, they can be mistaken for confidence, but they are lies, they are flawed, and they can fail you, and they can be taken. True self confidence comes from inside, it is about caring about yourself, it is about holding yourself to a standard and sticking to it, it is about loving who you are despite the opinions and actions of everyone around you. And you have the power, and you alone to do this, and you can and should and hopefully will. I don't claim to know your beliefs, but take a look at what you are. You are either the product of some divine being, a masterpiece created in divine will to be flesh. F*^k, be proud of that. _Or_ you are the product of 4 billion (seriously, billions!) years of evolutionary success. Every single ancestor you have has succeeded in life and continued on, every single one, you are a legacy of perfection!

So, learn solidarity of your own mind, and learn to believe in yourself. Don't do it just to get chicks, do it for yourself, you deserve it. It'll just help in the chicks department in the process...

yes. this.

It's for the best, do as most of the men here do and just stick to porn, you no it makes sense.

Has SadAspy been on recently? Haven't seen much activity out of him so I didn't want to expect the worst...

I know all too well how you feel. I rarely have feelings for others, especially romantic ones, but the girls I do bother to care for always reject me, even though I try really hard. What you should realize is that's it's probably not you (since I don't know you, I can't say for certain), but them. After all, it is they who are doing the rejecting. Like me, you are probably a nice, honest, sincere guy underneath your anger and bitterness (trust me, I'm full of that too). Perhaps the only mistake you are making (besides your angry outbursts, which are understandable), is your choice of women. If she rejects you, then she is simply no longer worth your time. The reason why people feel angry, sad, depressed, and suicidal is that we invest our emotions into the ones we care for and feel like we've been cheated when rejected, manipulated, cheated on, dumped, ect., especially Aspies like us, because emotions are harder for us to deal with as a whole. I won't sugarcoat this like many others will. I'm not going to tell you that everything WILL be alright, because I don't honestly have that answer. All I can say is that I understand how you feel and I will pray that you, and I, and others like us, males and females (because girls get hurt too, I know many of them), will eventually find someone who loves us, just as we are, AS and all. Everyone who is a kind, honest, good person, deserves to feel loved.

I'm still here...not that many people here seem to care.

Well, I've read the entire topic and replies, and i must say that for a moment in my life i though just like you, in fact, i can't be hypocrite, i can still relate to your story, many people judge your attitude towards women and questions your self confidence, but here's a fun fact, even with self confidence, you WILL struggle with understanding social underlines and you WILL get a lot of relationship problems and misunderstandings IF you can get in a relationship, what you must consider Sadaspie, that it is not your fault, it is your innate behavior, but you can't use past experiences as a way to be aggressive towards meeting new women.
Use your tools, read some psychology books and train understanding people, you shall see that in fact, there are a lot of futile women out there, but there is also understanding women who can relate to you and understand you, The odds are thin, but there are brilliant women out there who seeks a relationship.
As for cutting yourself... don't do that, I've been that path before, and i must say, please don't do that, nothing is worth your life, you don't have to pretend to get a girlfriend, nobody can judge your actions but yourself, instead of choosing suicide and leave this rotting futile consuming egocentric society as a coward, prove them wrong, do something remarkable, and rub in their faces that even if you're an aspie, you can be successful and happy your OWN way!

That's the spirit! I've seen a few "success stories" among several aspies here so that's very telling that an aspie can succeed in this world, too. Sure, it might not be in a typical NT type of way and it might not be following "standard" success paths, but why should one care if one's life and life's path is "typical"?

More posts like this!

I am an Aspie guy who barely graduated from high school, but a couple of years ago I was a finalist for the Wall Street Journal's "Best on the Street" award, and now I own a successful business that is extremely well-suited to my AS.

One of my role models, John Elder Robinson, didn't even graduate from high school.

There are plenty of other examples, go make yourself one of them!

And I have a master's degree and am a complete failure at life. Education really means nothing.

I love that some of the people telling me to be positive are themselves only in their teens or early twenties. Let's see if you still feel positive when you're 28 and every girl has rejected you.

Some women are clearly psycho and you have been probably been involved with the wrong kind of women.

I think it can be quite difficult to find a beautiful-looking woman who is not psycho or who doesn't have some deep personal issues.

I've been rejected by tons of women and I'm 26 and I don't make a big deal out of it. It's not like it's the end of the world. I believe that you can also be happy in life without a relationship with a woman, as long as there is someone, like a parent, a good friend or a sibling who cares about you and helps you in life when you need to do something that you cannot do alone.

Seriously people make a big out of it if you are virgin or never had a girlfriend before. It's not that important and there are other more important things to worry about in life.