25 Aug 2011, 3:33 pm
Infoseeker wrote:
hans66 wrote:
Grisha wrote:
How about: Male that pursues if given a reasonably unambiguous "green light"?
That "green light" is often not unambiguous. I always think that women are not traffic lights.
I heard that men like to pursue women at red light districts. ;D
25 Aug 2011, 3:37 pm
I would like to be pursued... But no one ever does. 
25 Aug 2011, 3:41 pm
Spazzergasm wrote:
I would like to be pursued... But no one ever does.
I can't for the life of me figure out why.
Once you get into the right environment, you'll probably have more trouble getting rid of them, trust me...
25 Aug 2011, 4:12 pm
Grisha wrote:
Spazzergasm wrote:
I would like to be pursued... But no one ever does.
I can't for the life of me figure out why.
Once you get into the right environment, you'll probably have more trouble getting rid of them, trust me...
I hope you're right. Your post made me feel better.
25 Aug 2011, 4:14 pm
25 Aug 2011, 4:29 pm
hans66 wrote:
I have reasons not to pursue. If you pursue, you make yourself vulnerable, and can be a prey of others. The woman may play this game, without being really interested. I cannot see the difference between what is real and what is not. If she is interested, she has to spell it out for me, either for sex or for a relationship.
If a woman is pursuing me, I don't know or see that she is actually doing that. She could also be friendly and like me, without being interested. That is the same with flirting. I flirt when I like someone. If a woman flirts with another man, she is interested in him. If a woman flirts with me, she is just flirting, because she likes that. In most of the cases she is not necessarily interested.
Therefore, I think there is not such a thing as a green light from anything else than a traffic light.
If a woman is pursuing me, I don't know or see that she is actually doing that. She could also be friendly and like me, without being interested. That is the same with flirting. I flirt when I like someone. If a woman flirts with another man, she is interested in him. If a woman flirts with me, she is just flirting, because she likes that. In most of the cases she is not necessarily interested.
Therefore, I think there is not such a thing as a green light from anything else than a traffic light.
I used to go out with a man like you. I ended up falling in love with him. I thought he wanted just the sex so I never told him how I felt. I am so afraid of rejection that I can't even talk to a guy I really like. When I realized I loved him, I stopped being funny, I stopped even talking to him when we were together. But what I also didn't see was that he was also aspie. More so than myself. I didn't even know I had it. Nnow that I do, I wish I had the chance to start all over again. It would be so much different. Unfortunately my heart takes a long time to heal when I have invested it. I couldn't even face him now without tears. I am sure that would just make him uncomfortable. His last email told me he "likes me very much and considers me a friend" "I don't blame you for moving on". But he also said he has no feelings. Or he doesn't feel them the way most people do.
Am I right thinking he has aspies? He has not had many gf's and he is in his mid 30's. Sadly I still love him. I wish he would call me and ask me to come back and try again. But I had a meltdown one day and frightened him. It was so hard not to let him know. I said it after it was over through text.
Jeez I wish someone understood.
AngelKnight
Veteran
Joined: 3 May 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 749
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through
25 Aug 2011, 5:28 pm
25 Aug 2011, 5:58 pm
25 Aug 2011, 6:02 pm
mv wrote:
Or maybe I'm just a dog!
You can safely rule that option out, trust me...
25 Aug 2011, 6:29 pm
Grisha wrote:
mv wrote:
Or maybe I'm just a dog!
You can safely rule that option out, trust me...
Aw, thanks.
26 Aug 2011, 5:51 pm
Female, doesn't pursue...shy and afraid of rejection. I have sometimes wished I had more guts, especially since I don't tend to pick up on it when someone is interested in me. I usually just think they're being friendly 
~Kate
27 Aug 2011, 12:56 am
27 Aug 2011, 2:53 am
27 Aug 2011, 3:35 am
Spazzergasm wrote:
I would like to be pursued... But no one ever does.
Maybe they're worried that might be too young (i.e. age of consent.) I think Aspies often underestimate how attractive they are, since picking up on other's perception of you is often a problem. BTW. I agree with Tea and Grisha on this.
27 Aug 2011, 5:19 am
hans66 wrote:
Therefore, I think there is not such a thing as a green light from anything else than a traffic light.
You can get mixed signals from a traffic light:
27 Aug 2011, 7:00 pm
