Age gap relationships

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I've just always gone with the rule of your age minus or plus two as a general rule of thumb as usually age gaps bigger that when you're in your teens over in England aren't generally as accepted as they are in other countries.

cougars come to me!

I'm 26 and tend to attract women in their 30s/40s. But remember, the older a person is, the more likely they are to be married. So be careful who you ask out, guys/gals.

Eh. I like older women, 30's and beyond, but I'm not really attracted to anyone regardless of age. I certainly can NOT see myself even attempting to flirt with any of them. If I ever have another relationship, I expect it will be with someone younger than myself or my age, if only because I'm more comfortable with the idea of a relationship where we're both more or less equal in experience.

My last ex was 18 years older than me and my husband is 10 years older than me.

Yes you should!


Be careful what you wish for...

A fellow aspie kept up a lie about age difference being a problem and that kept me from telling them how I felt-and to try and persue a deeper relationship and after a year of these feelings-that person goes on one date and gives it up to a person they don't even know that well 3 years younger than me and 70 pounds heavier-age is a number-but it seems to be an issue when applied to me and I find out later it wasn't an age issue-it was my looks and personality they admitted to.

My boyfriend I have been dating for 2 years is 9 years older than me and I don't see anything wrong with that, plus he also has Asperger's Syndrome like me!

What about younger?

I tend to find myself attracted to (and in rarer cases attracting) girls that are younger than I am. Being that I'm fairly young myself, it can get a little awkward (right now I *think* I'm a bit of an item with a 15 year old, only four years younger than I am but my parents most assuredly do not approve) and I end up confused as to what I should do. It bears mentioning that while my parents don't approve, her father figure doesn't mind at all.

I can never seem to find myself attracted to anyone that looks older than I am by any real amount, and people my own age are just so... irritating. All of my friends are younger as well (with one exception, he's over twice my age).

^^^ if you have feelings for her, your best bet might be to wait until you are in safer legal territory. if you care for her now, you will likely still care for her in a year when she is legal. it's kind of messy right now and can get you into trouble.

It's legal, Canada's legal age of consent is 18, but there is also an exception for age gaps of 5 years or less (assuming parental consent on the side of the younger partner), she will be 16 before I turn 21 (although I will be 20 before she's 16 =\).

edit:
Just noticed your location says Canada, so maybe you already knew all that (or maybe you know different?)

i didn't know your location. i'm a mod so i can find out, but we don't usually go poking around unless there is a reason.

how long have you known the girl for and how were you acquainted? where are her actual parents in all of this? those are just a couple of important things that are considered in statutory rape cases. also, if you parents are not pleased, then you may want to pay attention to that as they would be your biggest advocates aside from her parents.

(technically the age of consent is 12 if you're also 12 or 13 years old. FOR REAL )

Nova Scotia-New Brunswick border (my houses driveway is the border marker) for location.

We first met 2 or 3 years ago (she was dating someone I knew at the time we decided to settle a few differences), then met again at a music festival summer before last. After that she added me on facebook and we talked occasionally, then a few months we started talking to each other more after another guy screwed her over badly (cheated on her, stole some things from her). A week ago (or a week ago yesterday depending on your time zone) I had to talk her down from suicide and after that she just kind of blurted out that she loved me (along with a litany of reasons why).

Her biological parents aren't in her life at all. Her father ran out, her mother abused her.

My parents have made it clear that while they disapprove they do understand (my mother is 7 or 8 years younger than my father). Their disapproval (while partly because of her age) is mainly based on other matters.

is her father figure her legal guardian?

i have to be honest here. she sounds like a mess and needs therapy if she isn't already in it. no stable household environment, running with a fast crowd, promiscuity at a young age, suicidal depression... these signs point to her needing support from you as a friend and encouragement to get help from a counsellor. if i had to guess i would say she also isn't attending school regularly, but may be drinking and is into drugs (correct me if i'm wrong).

in a sense *you* are probably a father figure. you're a friend who rescued her and supported her when she needed it, and she has come to depend heavily on you for moral support. she's put you up on a pedestal as the older man who takes care of her. the best favour you can do for her is to be her friend and only her friend while encouraging her to be as healthy as possible in her choices.

Yes he is (for now, he also happens to be a drug dealer >.>)

She is indeed a mess, and therapy could be good for her. I have been slowly poking her in that direction for a while. She is a high school drop out (something else I have been poking her about, she's going back and finish high school if I have to drag her in there every day), and she does have some drug problems. She used to be a speed freak but now she just smokes a lot of weed (which isn't a problem IMO, she can and has stopped in the past), and she does drink on occasion but not often. In her words she just doesn't like how she feels when she's drunk most of the time.

I can't see me being much of a father figure to her honestly
All I've been up until a week ago was a friend who was there for her when she needed it. I make it a point not to interfere in her life most of the time (who she hangs out with, what she does in her spare time, that sort of thing). If she sees me as a father figure she's in trouble, it might not seem like it but I would DEFINITELY not be a good influence on her in that capacity

ok, so you can see i had her situation pegged. trust me on this one, she looks up to you. perhaps it's more like a little sister then. and if your behaviour is on similar lines to hers, you might want to think about what direction you're going in. but that's a whole other topic.

she is younger and impressionable and if you are not in a position to be a good influence on her then you might want to think twice about having a big role in her life (i.e. as a boyfriend). she could use guidance but if the guidance you can offer is on the same destructive road that she is already on, then i'd encourage her to seek help and allow her grow up a bit. she'll still be there in a year, in 2 years, in 5 years... but she'll be in less of a vulnerable position.

basically right now her best influences are a drug dealer "father figure" (how long before she ends up hooked on something and hooking for that guy?), friends of likely dubious characteristics... and YOU. make your choices wisely.