"Heartless b*****s"(includes words of advice)

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Tell me how am I supposed to date and make friends when I'm so low functioning? I'm very ugly, slow and stupid, poor, uneducated, uninteresting, uncharismatic, and very annoying and irritating to be around. I'm 25 and I can barely bathe and take care of myself. I don't drive and I'm jobless. I'm a hermit that lives at home, plays video games, and watches anime and porn all day.

Not everyone can improve and date like you. Maybe you need to start showing more sympathy for low functioning people like me instead of being so rude.

Last edited by MR20 on 14 Oct 2011, 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree, physical attraction can be a factor but it doesn't have to be a determining factor in who you love. Certain displays of behavior and traits can make someone more desirable to people, that can be a determining factor in the selection process in the early stages. I'm mostly interested in someone that shares a similar sense of curiosity, insight, spontaneity and humor, to share a personal connection and bond is far more important than sex if you're looking for longevity in a relationship. Also it's much easier to fall in love with a preconceived image of someone, a model on a billboard, someone at a party who seems desirable but can you live with them? Can you share your life, flaws and pains with them through the good and the ugly? Some people don't take this into consideration when marrying and regret it later.

Yes, everyone can improve. Nobody is entitled to show sympathy to anyone who doesn't at least try.

Calling someone a jerk is a personal attack therefore I advice you you take it out of your post before you reply to this thread again. Otherwise you´ll be hearing from a mod in no time(hint you attacked a mod hint).
Now that is covered you´ve been provided with several words of advice on your own thread about your situation and I havent seen you take action in either of them. As soon as you do start listening to other people´s advice I may consider responding nicely to your posts.
Im not dating and I was in a similar situation about not having a social life a year ago, heck my offline social life seems to be reducing day after day due to some medical issues that make me stay at home most days. Having said that I came here asking for advice and once I received some advice I started working on it and I have made quite an improvement approaching females(in a friendly manner until recently/now in a more serious way).
Sure I have made mistakes along the way and I thought that I was a basket case several times but you know what after several years of feeling like a basket case I started realizing no one was going to take me out of there and I had to do things for myself.

Was it hard? you can bet it was. Was it worth it? absolutely. Does it work for everyone? if the person in question is doing this with an open mind and willing to change some things that may be wrong with them yes otherwise its pointless.

Ive shown sympathy for SadAspy several times and tried to help him in a more friendly manner, he refused my advice and even started taking pot shots at me once and I did nothing about it, Im now trying a more strong approach.

LOL what advice? All you've ever said is that I have a bad attitude and that if I just got rid of it, I would be successful with women. When did I take pot shots at you? By calling you a white knight? Trust me, there's a much harsher term, but I am trying to remain somewhat civil. By suggesting that because you're significantly younger than me, maybe you don't know how I feel?When I was your age, I had anything but a negative attitude towards women. It didn't make any difference.

So you're going basically ignore the descriptions about myself in the last post. You can't change being butt ugly, slow, stupid, and poor. Explain why every group of "friends" that hung around with, bullied, made fun, shunned, humiliated me, and only kept me around to use me when I had stuff they wanted. Explain how most females I've tried to talk to would talk to down to me, treat me like s**t, and embarrass me at every chance they got.

None of them would even give me the time of day, but they'd go out with and f**k the douche bullies that I "tried" to hang out with. All because they're "cute" and "cool" or whatever.

The reason why I can't date and have real friends is because I was born a ugly, ret*d, pathetic bum loser that was destined to be this way. Nothing can change that

Last edited by MR20 on 14 Oct 2011, 1:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This post: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf171465-0-15.html was our first interaction and it was just common sense advice to avoid being banned, all you did was say you didnt care if you were banned.

There was a followup thread at the same time which is where you and I started discussing about things and once I explained you what you were doing was wrong you took pot shots at me and hyperlexian defended me, however Im unable to find said thread.

I try to return people´s feelings at all times(I got too involved in helping people that didnt want to be helped...). You´ve decided to ignore all advice provided for your situation Ive decided to ignore your situation until you actually start listening to the advice that was provided on your thread.

As I explained to SadAspy once(and I got attacked on this one as well) you have to find out what your strengths are and what your flaws are and make sure you avoid showing your flaws and try to focus on your strengths.
You have a lot of flaws right there but nobody is perfect and you need to focus on finding your strengths . Finding out what your strengths are can be though but as some of the wisest people say nothing worth doing is easy.

I was a social reject up to 14(bullied every year, guidance counselor,teachers calling my parents to see if there were any issues at home....you name it I had it) one day some random girl got bored on a study class and started asking me why did I allow this to happen?, why didnt I try to change things?. My first response as usual was you have no idea of how much Ive tried to sort things and it never works so right now Ive given up.
Her response was that I wasnt trying hard enough and I needed to work on finding my strengths before doing anything.

At first I thought she was messed up, then I realized that she actually had some sort of social success(wasnt a cool girl but was one of the outcasts which shun me as well) and she may be onto something.

I started working on my issues and she helped me through it, she was looking for some help in classes in return but since it was working I didnt mind, here we are offering to help you and you are refusing our help.

Theres nothing I can do to save a person that doesnt want to be saved but dont complain about how nobody gives a s**t about you if several members here have tried to help you because that makes no sense.

Just so you have an idea I have a dormat attitude Im working on at the moment. Want to know what my first choice was: joining a forum of people that questioned everything I stand for as a moderator here and growing some self respect.
On this past 2 days I have received so many personal attacks I lost count of them, I have had my taste in minor things questioned, I have had my ethics questioned... but you know what Im starting to grow some self respect so I believe I made the right choice.

You just have to find what works for you.

I am still waiting for this muffin.

*sigh* nowadays' wives....

I have no strengths.

Last edited by SadAspy on 15 Oct 2011, 12:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

Correction Ive been unable to find any strengths and given up on this issue.
That there explains that it may not be an easy task but its a start from the hating yourself attitude and focusing on good things so I´d suggest you keep looking for what you may be good at.

I've found that your language comes across quite well on posts. also i think you once mentioned approaching 50-100 girls online / IRL. if the true figure is anywhere near that you certainly have got more confidence than me! whether you had any luck or not. One of the youtube links you posted once made me proper laugh, i think you did it in sarcasm. oh, and also. there was a picture of you in a thread from a while back, you are certainly not ugly! so that is something to go on re strengths :)

How are any of these strengths vis a vis getting a girlfriend? The 50-100 girls are probably just creeped out that I asked them...not impressed at my confidence. As for sense of humor, I didn't make a joke...I stole a joke from somewhere else.



It doesn't make a difference whether a guy is ugly or average. Either way, he's not attractive.

When I was in my twenties I experimented with neurotypical girls
Yeah, the "Heartless b***h Guy" I can not communicate worth a darn.. When I was political and had to speak in front of lots of audiences I imagined I was in my world. But when it is personal, one to one, I have such a impossible time... I can't put how I feel into words or small talk.
Some neurotypical girls can pick up how I feel, but they still need small talk.

I found that if I did something that girls liked and made them look real good, I could get them to stare in to my eyes. (insert picture of Autistic John Travolta - Saturday night fever)
Finding a place to dance, live band helps.. Learn the dances and it may take several weeks, but someone most likely will come along.
I'm sure there are other places that can be used to meet girls.

Girls told me they liked a guy with
>A steady job
>close friends
>A life. goes dancing, spent the night on beaches, etc..
>Honest
>Dressed nice (wore jeans or a coat and tie)
>good reputation
-None said they wanted a "bad guy" or someone who is not a "Nice guy"
>Girls that said they like me because of material positions <<< didn't work with me.

I know they liked me, several cried... I couldn't even tell them I didn't know how to communicate.
When I was a kid, there were a few HFA girls and we got a long so well.. When I was in my twenties there were no HFA or Aspie girls around.. I felt an HFA/Aspie was my best chance.
In hind sight, I probable scared them off- I put on one hell of a show - I was very popular, successful business man, fast rising politician - a charismatic character (pieced together from B&W movies), Hung out in "fast crowds" < what Aspie girl would go after that? Like me going after a pop singing star...
In my next life I ended up with a sociopath who used me < very bad, I couldn't even tell the basic body language. She was not one of the "nice girls".
Maybe if I came from a family that actually would have "raised" me, I could have had basic communication skills.
The only way I will ever be with anyone again, is if I can find an Aspie girl... Someone who can understand why I am like I am... and vise versa - I can't change it....


Is it possible for a neurotypical girl to like a very autistic guy, even with intelligence?

Last edited by AnOldHFA on 17 Oct 2011, 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh man! This used to be me to a 'T'. (minus number two)

I can tell ya I'm better now. Not enough yet to woo women but I'm learning!

Congrats dude, Many guys go through this phase because we're raised to believe that it's the right way to court the woman from being raised on Soppy love songs, Disney movies and romantic literature and novels. Many guys tend to come to this conclusion in their late teens or early twenties, I think it's equivalent to finding out there's no Santa Claus as a child.

It's actually quite rewarding to know that you don't have to be able to write soppy poems or stand outside a girls house playing backstreet boys on full volume.