I 'm so angry

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That is because those women are idiots.

They perpetuate the same vicious circles that entry level jobs do when they won't hire some one because 'They don't have enough experience'. The problem is when everyone wants some one with confidence, or some one with experience, it shuts the door on people who have neither and can't get either because no one will take a chance on them.

Last edited by rabbittss on 18 Feb 2012, 8:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't underestimate it, but I do break it down, confidence in any human being is not a one entity; it's per skill, or per setting.

As I said above a math nerd can be confident in his math skills yet can lacks the confidence in being smooth talker with girls; and vice versa.

When women here talk about confidence, they're actually referring to the social confidence (social-forwardness, easygoing, the charm, talking with others without hesitation or anxiety === things that aspies naturally lack).

1814 might be confident in dozen of things (his grades are A and B+) except when it comes to socializing.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 18 Feb 2012, 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, I was referring to the social confidence, not something else.

But would you agree that if one was socially confident regardless of looks he'd still potentially attract girls to him. Unless he had some other trait that is really ugly and disgusting to girls.

Remember, social confidence also means the confidence to approach girls and chat them up.

They're not idiots just because it pisses you off.

Social confidence is better than nothing, that's for sure.

They piss me off, Therefore they are idiots.

It's duck season.....no rabbit season!!

We are each entitled to our opinions.

My theory is, that people usually lack confidence in things they aren't good with, or at least they haven't yet prove/convince themselves as being good at them.

You usually lack confidence in things you're bad at.

So even if you tried to talk with girls a lot before, and the results were always failure, failure, failure...then of course you would lack confidence in that field.

So to tell someone how to become a better talker and to how to enhance social skill would be a much better advice.

Not just "be confident" --> that's a stupid one.

What requires first is courage (and that something that you people are confusing it with confidence) in facing the first failures, but the real confidence only comes as consequence of past successive successes.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 18 Feb 2012, 8:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.

That's just it. I've not really got a problem talking to girls. It's that when I realize they are stupid I become condescending. It's my subtle way of saying that "Even though I initiated contact with you, I wish for you to go away now since there is no point me talking to you.. go and beg drinks off of some one else".

that is an interesting strategy for getting a girlfriend.


i am fairly certain that you have not been elected into an exalted position that gives you the power to determine which people are considered idiots.


Boo, having confidence in one area can lends a person to have social confidence overall - it's all about self-perception. being good at something and knowing itcan give a person confidence in social situations. if a person approaches social situations thinking that they are not worthy for whatever reason, they will come across as unconfident... but the knowledge that they kick serious ass at something can give them a confidence boost that other people notice.

^ If that were the case though, all one would need to do is show how they rock at their special interest :/

no, it's not a matter of demonstrating that you rock at a special interest. it's a matter of being confident in your self, which can arise from the knowledge that you are damn good at something.

I can't see where the distinction you're making lies because a special interest could easily be the thing that someone is good at, and in essence be the one thing that brings about that level of self-confidence that's needed to pursue relationships.

yes, exactly - you explained it perfectly!! ! but you don't have to actually DO the special interest in front of the person, that's all.

interestingly, i love watching people do what they are very good at, and i like to hear experts speak extensive explanations of stuff i don't even understand. people sort of light up and they become magnetic and fascinating to me when engaged in areas like that. not everyone gets a thrill out of seeing an expert at work, but the glow of confidence that an expert can exhibit is an attractant.

If I understand you correctly, hyperlexian (and you can correct me if i'm wrong or making insane generalizations), the best way to increase the amount of chances towards a relationship is to pretty much emulate the same amount of confidence one would have with a special interest - minus the interest itself, because most of the time it's not what you're talking about that draws people away - it's HOW you talk about it??