Double standards in society?(offtopic discussion earlier thr

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Well......

It's really only a select few individuals who make the most noise. It comes and goes in cycles in L&D. We have periods of relative peace, then discord starts to kick up again.

Why?

Probably because "love" is a tough thing, even for socially adept NTs, and that goes double for Aspies. I can't help but notice that most of the "noisy" folks also tend to be young and/or inexperienced at life in general, so it doesn't exactly surprise me that they deal with disappointment by coming on an anonymous message board and lashing out. Learning appropriate coping techniques for managing negative emotions takes practice. In the meantime, presenting oneself as a "victim" has the added benefit of shielding one from criticism or responsibility; after all, if one is a "victim" of society, then no one can hold them accountable for their thoughts, feelings, and actions, can they? They're just "victims!"

However, my position is that the very question of, "Who has it harder?" is beyond idiotic and dehumanizing an entire swath of the human population isn't healthy.

In any case, I enjoy your posts very much. Please stick around. I'll even share my coffee!

Honestly, both have it hard lets end it at that, I am trying to find myself a good woman its hard, I mean many times I meet someone I don't know if they like me or I don't like them its just naturally but when I meet someone I have chemistry talking with, its hard for me to ask them out? Anything I should focus on or be aware of?

Thank you for being reasonable.

And I sorry you're having such a hard time. Trying to judge the thoughts and feelings of others is a huge pain in the butt.

I wish I had better advice for you, but the only thing I can think of is just try to relax. You don't have to put on some grand show of "confidence," but try not to be nervous. If you're nervous, it makes other people nervous, and that's true of just about every social interaction, romantic or otherwise.

And remember: you're a worthwhile human being and anyone who would try to make you feel bad about yourself is just a colossal jerk and not worth your time. Best of luck!

I beat the living crap out of my ex when we broke up after trying to get back together, then took a tire iron to his car. However, I did that because he slapped me first and he had also beat the crap out of me almost every day that we were together. I finally figured out that I was bigger than him. He deserved every punch. Even his mother shook my hand over that and said it was about time.

But overall, women are more often physically intimidated by men than vice versa. That's very true. Standing up to a guy thats bigger than you and possibly violent is a dangerous thing to do because it can seriously get you hurt. I know, I've been in that situation before. The husband I have now has hit me a few times, years ago. I decided I was not going to take that from him and gave it right back to him after the first few times he hit me. He never put his hands on me like that again.

So males abusing females is a "mass phenomon"? How so? They completely avoid talking about husband abuse now.



lol. How do you "Accidentally" rape someone. That does NOT happen.

EDIT: fixed formatting

Last edited by Warsie on 28 May 2012, 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sure it does. You go to a bar, you have a few drinks, you pick up a girl who is drunk, you two have sex, she sobers up in the morning, sees you, decides you 'Raped' her in order to avoid owning up to her failings while she was drunk, you go to jail.

I was sarcastically referring to crap attitudes like this

rabbittss....NO!

Welcome to L&D!!

The rates of male on female abuse are much higher than female on male. When you look at repeated abuse, the disparity widens. When you look at abuse that results in serious injury, the gap widens even further.

(no longer directed specifially to you)

This thread should be to talk about broad/ general ideas. Not used to call out / attempt to shame individual members because you think they said something unfair. Otherwise this is just going to become the pile-on or personally attack thread which would not be cute.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear ... rape_.html
http://open.salon.com/blog/anna_sparrow ... _date_rape

I never said it happened OFTEN, merely that it CAN HAPPEN.

People are more than selfish and insecure enough to ruin some one elses life to save face.

I've been thinking the same thing for a while...and yet, we still keep coming back...

my 2 cents

In the past:

Women could get pregnant if they weren't careful, and get stuck with an expensive in recourses baby. Men tried to spread there seeds.

Now:

Birth control is absolute (if you live in a reasonable country that is). Abortion as a last resort solution, is pretty safe today. Women can be as slu*ty as they want. They can even get raped. No matter what, they have absolute control on who will be the daddy. Fertility rate, it self has dropped to bellow 2, meaning women aren't reproducing machines anymore, with disproportionate share of the risks.

This is at 180° of what was happening historically, or even at geological times. Very few other, if any, females in the animal kingdom control there fertility that well. De facto, women today, are biologically very close in being a second type of male. But still are behaving as if they had prehistoric reproductive constraints.

The mirror of this. For a man spreading his seed today is much harder. Rape as a reproduction strategy is almost 100% ineffective. Talking about rape, if a man gets careless, he can get stuck with having to pay child support. Biologically, this amount to kind of female rape on the male. How many males in the animal kingdom can get stuck with footing the bills?

Conclusion

Both sides of the debate have truth in them.

Men are still required to work hard to spread there seed. When in reality of the situation, things have prety much balanced out. They need to get more picky, or have just 1,5 kids with some blond airhead . You may die happy, but you still lost biologically.

Women still act as if they are the limiting gender in reproduction. They need to get more assertive and slu*ty, or they will get stuck with the trash of the male gender.

The bad news
Its going to take 100k years for things to really balance out.

Speaking as a man it would seem at first that it would make sense that everything men experience is automatically harder. After all, we are so prone to getting hard in response to so many unexpected little things, such as riding in an airplane or going to the nurse's office.

But believe me, not everything is hard for men. There are things out there that can make us quite flaccid. I won't go in to detail.

lol yawn...another one of these threads......why bother? i know I have fallen into the trap of arguing and trying to make my point, but speaking as I guy, I think us guys should learn to not argue about this stuff especially with women and just worry about ourselves.

Not to sound sexist, but who really cares what the opposite sex thinks about who has it harder?

What is your point of this thread?

Because you point out the struggles females have, yet you bash males.

Nether sex has it easier or harder in the dating scene. In the rest of areas of life, yes of course!!

But in the dating scene no. Who does have it harder is the people who have a hard time socializing, people who can't understand others or they themselves can't be understood, and of course anyone who faced alot of rejection and/or are exposed to pressures that tell them they "arn't good enough".

Last edited by Zinnel on 29 May 2012, 3:21 am, edited 1 time in total.