how to avoid being used?

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my original topic is NOT about strictly FWB relationships - it is about false relationships, or girls expecting more because they are purposefully manipulated into the "someday" trap.
if you've been the nice guy used as emotional toilet paper, i'm sorry, but can't you stop picking up the phone? it's not like you have memories of making love to her. in fact, no serious emotional damage occurs in nice guy friendzones. becoming sexually frustrated and longing for something to happen is NOT the same as sacrificing your time, effort, plans, goals, and body for a person who actually hates you enough to lie to your face and take what you value most from you.

Probably gonna get a lot of flack for this comment The whole scenario goes both ways. Both genders are capable of hurting the other in the manner you describe. Full stop.

All of the optimism and energy I'd have for starting a new relationship has been used up in the dating scene, and i'm done with men for a long time. I can take this time of celibacy to learn about myself and improve my self esteem. I've come up with a few "signs" that you're beig used by a man (and sometimes a woman) for sex, attention, or money.

1. They don't call before or after a first date.
If a guy doesn't call you soon after your first date (24 hours later or sooner) he is NOT looking for anything serious. I went on a few dates with a man who never bothered to call, but he spent hours talking to me on IM. All of our plans were arranged online. He eventually felt sorry for me because I'm very shy and clueless, and told me his attraction to me was based sexually. I cut him off completely. I met another guy who didn't ask for my number before our first date, and as I suspected he would, never called after our first date. This was our last as he stopped replying to my emails and got back with his ex. He was looking for a rebound fling.
2. They make last-minute plans or cancel them often.
This one is pretty obvious.
3. They stop calling. Everything about the relationship seems okay, except you never hear from him on the phone. He wants to have you with minimal commitment.
4. They ask to be FWB's or give ANY excuse for why they can't be with you.
No matter how sincere or sad his reasons are (eg. "I'm afraid to fall in love again")... he is LYING because he does NOT want to be with you. He wants someone to keep him company and make him feel better about himself. He wants you for free. I lived with a guy for a year who convinced me that he loved me, but wanted to wait before starting a relationship with me. Shortly after we get a place together, he starts arguing with me about money and bossing me around. He didn't respect my things or my boundaries. It was a total nightmare, and I mistook his neediness for a romanitc interest. He wanted to hang out with me constantly because I'd listen to him talk about himself and make him feel attractive.
5. He doesn't take you out on any dates or spend time alone with you unless he wants sex.
I dated a guy who never wanted to be with me alone... unless we were doing it. We were always around his friends so he wouldn't have to talk to me. My first clue was his friend joking about us having sex.. It felt like I was there to entertain them. I picked up some inside jokes about me being his "little boy" (he thought I acted like his little boy because I'm submissive and geeky?) Anyway I felt ridiculed, which brings me to problem no. 6:
6. You feel like the butt of a sick joke. If you think your "boyfriend" or his friends might be making fun of you behind your back, or they joke about things you don't understand in front of you, you need to do some detective work! It is not fun to discover that you're the butt of gross, mean jokes to him and all his friends. Groups of friends will certainly do this to an unrespected party.
7. You don't feel special. I know this one is sort of subjective, but if a man really loves you, he will make sure you know it. He won't squirm at your instability, he will do everything he can to cheer you up. He won't leave you alone until you're happy. You'll feel like an important, attractive woman because he will tell you with his words and actions. It's easy enough to figure out whether he loves you by asking yourself if you feel valued. And it's easy enough for another person to figure out how to make you feel loved and valued -- if you don't, don't suspect he's just 'too dumb' or 'too immature' to treat you like a lady.
For now, that's all I have to share and feel free to add to the list.