Guys, we all lost according to ladder theory!

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Because women are fickle and emotional, and I'm not a rapist.

Where'd the rapist thing come from?

The only one that could be related to it is err too much with the boldness rather than too little. And the link between the two is very very lose. All it says is that you have to try to stop playing it safe all the time and its actually true(one of the few things on the list that I agree with).
Playing it safe may be helpful in a job interview/talking to your neighbour/whatever but if you want to attract someone you have to keep things entertaining and this means trying to do/say things without being sure of what to expect...

With that being said some of them border on sociopathy(who even keeps a count of how much times theyve been messaged/called?... )

"who even keeps a count of how much times theyve been messaged/called?"

Girls!


How was your Friday date btw?

It was ok.
I was meeting a few friends and I told her that she could come along if she was interested. She showed up and we talked for a few hours. Not that great but not bad.

beat me to it

I can't find the references.

This LT guy is obviously bitter and scorned or only sees the world in an incredibly two dimensional, black and white way that is evidence of immaturity. It reminds me of a conversation I had not to long ago, (with an Aspie I've had a crush on by the way-I am NT), who made statements about "all men want...this and that" referring basically to wanting young, hot women. Well guess what? That made him an a**hole in my book (VERY ungentlemanly), and according to Ladder Theory, I should then have wanted him even more. But instead, it made me hold back and I never have been able to let him know how I feel because that and a couple other A__Hole type statements made me think something is wrong with him in that way (ie, at almost 40, you should know how to be more of a gentleman/more age appropriately developed/less prone to ignorant generalizations). I was SO SAD that he said those things. I just couldnt get past it.
And to further disprove the LT, this guy is a fattie and not rich. (But SO smart and SO funny!! !! ERRRGGHHH! <------again, not supporting the LT so much....)

I do think there is a kernal of truth in the LT in that sure, I know women who fit that mold, but first off, a lot of women just want to know they will be secure so they can have children. Cant blame them for that. But I think there are always going to be many different kinds of people out there with different values.
For example- I have dated both rich and powerful men (guess I must be kind of attractive according to LT- or maybe I have a lot of personality which is what I want to think!) What I found is that these types of guys are often (notice I dont make ignorant statements like, "ALL these guys.....") have a sense of entitlement, think they are better than others, and on a certain level- treated me as though I was lucky to be with them (I was poor, had no college degree and come from a middle class family).
According to LT, I would have recognized and accepted the "disparity" between us and hung to the relationships for dear life....But guys, the only disparity was that these guys were clueless, unevolved, undeveloped, and completely unspiritual people. The only kind of women they will ever get will be shallow women with a lack of self esteem and self respect. I off - loaded these losers pretty quickly, and am happy that I had a chance to learn important life lessons.
Right now, the Aspie I am attracted (but wont tell- see above) to is super ambitious (so OK, THAT part does confirm the LT) and I realized that - that will NOT make for a good relationship either bcs EVERYTHING will be subsumed by this incredible drive. In fact, I have been wondering if this is an Aspie trait- part of the reaon I joined this site....

Anyhoo....responses will be interesting....

(PS I seem to be drawn to Aspie type guys- NOT confirming the LT either!)

Last edited by sweetcakes on 22 Jun 2012, 11:50 am, edited 2 times in total.

Sure, when you are 20 that might be right, assuming you aren't terribly mature.. Life doesn't work that way.. If it did, you wouldn't see unattractive poor people getting married. Ever.
I'm more distressed that people actually think it makes sense, and believe it. When an anecdote and "those graphs are legit, I did lots of study" are the deciding factors for anything in life, it's time to re-think where you get your information

BESIDES there's nothing wrong with being an aspie, it's just that your hardware and software are incompatible (typical human body, atypical brain functions, like running a windows game on a mac- it can be done, but it's going to be buggy)
Besides THAT there have, throughout history, been heavily suspected cases of Asperger's and autism (it's not a new condition, just newly recognized) so I think it's pretty safe to say we aren't going extinct any time soon.

I think a lot of it has to do with the Western mythos of romance. It may be true that many people see a stark distinction between romance and friendship, but I believe this to be a false dichotomy that ends in high divorce rates and unhappy relationships. Once the initial intoxication of pheromone induced bliss wears off, you better be friends on some level or have something in common, or else its not going to work out at all. There's not going to be a happily ever after conclusion to the tale, that's for sure. The belief that these are two wholly separate categories is nothing more than a belief and only affects those who believe in it, just like those who buy into ladder theory. I think if you do want to attract members of the opposite sex, its best not to worry about romance happening or not happening, as you project a subconscious uneasiness that repels women away. I think the best approach is to work on yourself, understand clearly what your romantic and emotional needs are, and flow with that part of you. It'll happen when its supposed to happen, and if it doesn't happen, meh. I'll still be the girls friend and all and just enjoy my life. I don't really want a relationship if that means it'll be on some unstable foundation, as many of them are.

I gotta say, that Tom Leykis guy is a bit of a ret*d. I watched the video on women as sex objects, and he's going on about how women never talk about politics and such. Hell, man...all it would take is 5 minutes at my local university to find a woman that probably knows far more than ME about politics! He probably thinks that they're just sex objects because he surrounds himself with bimbos.

Also, it's my personal experience than 95% of males couldn't really tell you s**t about politics either.

I'm beginning to think I do Mystery Method by waking up in the morning. I guess that's a plus of Aspergers.

This thread made me so depressed, that I drank more than half a litre of gin to ease the pain.

Seriously, I can't wait for our species to evolve into something fair, kind and compassionate as opposed to a bunch of stupid, self-deceptive monkeys.

Well I think we can evolve ourselves just in the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Like, I see people carrying so much tension with them at all times. You can just tell when someone is full of anger, resentment, and fear, probably over how they perceive their selves and how they think others perceive them. Its like a negative feedback loop. They feel like s**t, they look like they feel like s**t, and, thus others engage with them less because they look defensive all the time. So, as a result, they think people are avoiding them because of some personal flaw and this perpetuates their inner tension even more. i'm starting to just not give a f**k about what people think of me or about what experiences I may or may not get in life. I'm just gonna be happy with me and enjoy what I've got. Too many people want validation from external factors, but really validation should begin within a persons own being.

i think this is very, very good advice. it sounds like you have an emotionally stable outlook.

holy wow, bang-on twice in one thread! colour me impressed.