Females: do you consider yourself physically attractive?

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hyperlexian
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23 Jul 2012, 12:44 am

mds_02 wrote:
and that was what I was responding to. I stated very clearly that I prefer a more natural look. and that, when looking for a sexual partner, I go for the ones who advertise their sexual availability (in other words, look like they enjoy having sex).

So clearly, for me at least, looking like she ejoys sex is not directly related to beauty practices. And my taste in women is not that far off from most of the guys I've known.

you'd be surprised how far some men go along those same lines. i had one male friend who really, really liked how i looked after i had been engaged in sexual activities (with OTHER men) - smeared makeup, bedhead, rumpled, flushed. he called it the "just f----- look". his preference was a bit more extreme than most people, but it was a highly sexual appearance that he liked.


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ValentineWiggin
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23 Jul 2012, 1:05 am

mds_02 wrote:
and that was what I was responding to. I stated very clearly that I prefer a more natural look. and that, when looking for a sexual partner, I go for the ones who advertise their sexual availability (in other words, look like they enjoy having sex).

So clearly, for me at least, looking like she ejoys sex is not directly related to beauty practices. And my taste in women is not that far off from most of the guys I've known.


So, aesthetically, what differentiates the women who look like they enjoy sex from the rest?
Curious.


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23 Jul 2012, 1:13 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
MXH wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
What aesthetic criteria do men have to meet to look like they want sex?


according to the stereotype, being male is enough


So, then,
*being male
*wearing makeup
connote wanting/enjoying sex.

Does that mean men who wear eyeliner are the most sexed of us all? :wink:


If we're using a sample size of Russel Brand...yes.
also every movie star, tv actor, musician, and model

In an ideal world make-up would be expected of no one, but available to everyone. Sometimes I feel bad for guys that they don't really have as many options for or as much acceptance of make-up use because when you do it because you want to it's incredibly fun and creative.

When men go on and on about how icky make-up is, what I hear is "I want to look beautiful, but I don't want you to be able to make yourself beautiful". Also,a total cluelessness about what goes on in our day to day lives. I have to please a bunch of people everyday, myself first, so what a man might prefer cant be my top priority.

I had terrible acne in high school, hell no did I look better bare-faced.
Also (and this may just be me) guys who tell me what to do with my hair/face/clothes are promptly shown the door.
I like how I look in make-up, I like the colors and the fun and the control over my appearance. When I'm happier, I'm hotter.
People who want to crap on something that makes me feel good, are not people I want to attract in the first place.


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ValentineWiggin
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23 Jul 2012, 1:18 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

In an ideal world make-up would be expected of no one, but available to everyone.

'Zactly! :)
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
People who want to crap on something that makes me feel good, are not people I want to attract in the first place.

I think the few people who criticize makeup criticize it because it's "expected of" people...specifically women...for no other reason than that they are women.

Er. And the FLDS. :lol:


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DogsWithoutHorses
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23 Jul 2012, 1:30 am

Wolfheart wrote:
This girl is a fitness model and she does take care of her skin and body, it really does show the effects of leading a healthy lifestyle and the benefits it has on skin. She has better skin than any supermodel I have seen and that is simply because she follows a healthy lifestyle.


eh, good for her that she has something she likes and works well for her.
different things suit different people

@Valentine
I think some dudes are very vocal about how icky make-up is because they want a cookie for "not being shallow"
when in reality they are still making aesthetic demands, just different ones

Also because it's a "girl thing" so it must be frivolous and stupid.


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Last edited by DogsWithoutHorses on 23 Jul 2012, 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

mds_02
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23 Jul 2012, 1:44 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
and that was what I was responding to. I stated very clearly that I prefer a more natural look. and that, when looking for a sexual partner, I go for the ones who advertise their sexual availability (in other words, look like they enjoy having sex).

So clearly, for me at least, looking like she ejoys sex is not directly related to beauty practices. And my taste in women is not that far off from most of the guys I've known.


So, aesthetically, what differentiates the women who look like they enjoy sex from the rest?
Curious.


Clothes are a part of it. The girl in the low-cut top and the extremely short skirt is more likely to be looking for sex than the one in the turtleneck. Posture, sometimes you'll notice that a girl is deliberately standing or sitting in such a way as to emphasize certain parts of her body. Little stuff too, like how she holds or touches objects. Very often, how much skin she shows or how much she emphasizes certain body parts is reflective of how comfortable she is with her sexuality, and a woman more comfortable with her sexuality is both more sexually attractive and more likely to, y'know, have sex with me.

I'm not saying any of this stuff is a guarantee that she's looking for sex. Nor am I saying that women who don't do this stuff don't like sex. But, if you're a guy looking for sex, there are a lot of women out there and most of them are gonna reject you. There isn't time to approach every single one so, in order to minimize your chances of rejection, you focus your energy on the ones who are giving out sexual signals.

Bear in mind that I never claimed that I was especially good at picking up on this stuff. But, when I was looking for sex, this is the stuff I'd look for.


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mds_02
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23 Jul 2012, 1:48 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
@Valentine
I think some dudes are very vocal about how icky make-up is because they want a cookie for "not being shallow"
when in reality they are still making aesthetic demands, just different ones
.


Having preferences is not making demands. No woman anywhere is ever obligated to look a certain way for me. But I am not obligated to be attracted to the ones who don't fit my preferences.

Edit: nor is it about "not being shallow." I have freely admitted to my shallow side on this board.

Edit again: and this thread is not about my, or any other guy's, preferences, it is about how people feel about their own looks. I just didn't like that it was starting to be about how all men insist on certain things, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. But I've said my piece, whether anyone accepts it or not, and I'm gonna back out now and let the thread get back on topic.


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Last edited by mds_02 on 23 Jul 2012, 2:02 am, edited 3 times in total.

hyperlexian
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23 Jul 2012, 1:54 am

for the split debate about supermodels and health, please check out this thread:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt204609.html


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DogsWithoutHorses
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23 Jul 2012, 1:57 am

mds_02 wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
@Valentine
I think some dudes are very vocal about how icky make-up is because they want a cookie for "not being shallow"
when in reality they are still making aesthetic demands, just different ones
.


Having preferences is not making demands. No woman anywhere is ever obligated to look a certain way for me. But I am not obligated to be attracted to the ones who don't fit my preferences.


okay...
what I'm really addressing is people who think their preferences make them nicer
which isn't everyone, but it is some

and I've encountered enough random guys telling me to do this or that because I'd look better for them that way...sometimes it is a demand

I don't think guys need to fall at my feet regardless of what I look like/what they are attracted too.

I'm just tired of being hit on with "why do you wear all that, you'd be so much prettier without it" like I'm supposed to be flattered and grateful.


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mds_02
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23 Jul 2012, 2:07 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
@Valentine
I think some dudes are very vocal about how icky make-up is because they want a cookie for "not being shallow"
when in reality they are still making aesthetic demands, just different ones
.


Having preferences is not making demands. No woman anywhere is ever obligated to look a certain way for me. But I am not obligated to be attracted to the ones who don't fit my preferences.


okay...
what I'm really addressing is people who think their preferences make them nicer
which isn't everyone, but it is some

and I've encountered enough random guys telling me to do this or that because I'd look better for them that way...sometimes it is a demand

I don't think guys need to fall at my feet regardless of what I look like/what they are attracted too.

I'm just tired of being hit on with "why do you wear all that, you'd be so much prettier without it" like I'm supposed to be flattered and grateful.


Okay, fair enough. I guess I interpreted what you said to mean that most men who said they didn't like makeup were being disingenuous. It's true that some are. But for the vast majority, when they say what they are attracted to, you can take their word for it.

Now I really am gonna back out like I said I would.

Edit: and the last bit I can definitely relate to.

"oh, you'd be so good looking if you just took all that metal out of your face."
"um... Thanks?"


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Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer. 
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Last edited by mds_02 on 23 Jul 2012, 2:28 am, edited 2 times in total.

ValentineWiggin
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23 Jul 2012, 2:09 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
okay...
what I'm really addressing is people who think their preferences make them nicer
which isn't everyone, but it is some


I'm just tired of being hit on with "why do you wear all that, you'd be so much prettier without it" like I'm supposed to be flattered and grateful.


I think I get what you're saying, only with the issue of weight,
IE SO's telling me they prefer me chubbier or that I'm attractive the way I am.

Them advocating a laxer standard of popular beauty or telling me it's irrelevant to them doesn't make it any less-offensive that they think they are the rightful arbiters of whether I should or shouldn't lose weight, as in

"I don't know why you do this to yourself- you know I like you the way you are."

Like...who gives a sh*t, @sshole?


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analyser23
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23 Jul 2012, 2:49 am

mds_02 wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
and that was what I was responding to. I stated very clearly that I prefer a more natural look. and that, when looking for a sexual partner, I go for the ones who advertise their sexual availability (in other words, look like they enjoy having sex).

So clearly, for me at least, looking like she ejoys sex is not directly related to beauty practices. And my taste in women is not that far off from most of the guys I've known.


So, aesthetically, what differentiates the women who look like they enjoy sex from the rest?
Curious.


Clothes are a part of it. The girl in the low-cut top and the extremely short skirt is more likely to be looking for sex than the one in the turtleneck. Posture, sometimes you'll notice that a girl is deliberately standing or sitting in such a way as to emphasize certain parts of her body. Little stuff too, like how she holds or touches objects. Very often, how much skin she shows or how much she emphasizes certain body parts is reflective of how comfortable she is with her sexuality, and a woman more comfortable with her sexuality is both more sexually attractive and more likely to, y'know, have sex with me.

I'm not saying any of this stuff is a guarantee that she's looking for sex. Nor am I saying that women who don't do this stuff don't like sex. But, if you're a guy looking for sex, there are a lot of women out there and most of them are gonna reject you. There isn't time to approach every single one so, in order to minimize your chances of rejection, you focus your energy on the ones who are giving out sexual signals.

Bear in mind that I never claimed that I was especially good at picking up on this stuff. But, when I was looking for sex, this is the stuff I'd look for.


My biggest issue with it, is that I am not convinced that all women dress this way because they truly are comfortably just looking for a healthy sexual encounter with a man.
From what I see, there are many women who are mislead into believing this is the only way they can be of ANY value to the World, no matter what else they have to offer. That even if they are kind, intelligent, funny,etc, no one is interested unless you look sexually open.
Females learn this as they grow up from observing the behaviours of men, or other females who are "popular", i.e. spoken about in a desirable way by men, by watching TV, movies, VIDEO CLIPS, song lyrics, magazines, etc.
They have their entire Self esteem tied to it. The sex part is the last thing on their minds, they just want to be accepted by society, and it has been shown that this is path to that therefore they do it. They then suffer any negative consequences to do with this path, particularly if they were seeking acceptance, and ended up being used for a "service" and discarded for who they are. Maybe for me as an undiagnosed aspie girl until the age of 31yo I am more angry about it because, being socially clueless, I got sucked into this myself.
It can lead to being treated awfully, disrespected AFTER the man has gotten what he sought, abuse, diseases, unplanned pregnancies, and even further confusion as to who you are and how people see you and how to fit in. I think that even NTs have issues with this.
I am not against sex.
It just pains me to see so many women get so hurt and so lost in this World. And I even feel for some men who also get sucked in to the belief that all a woman is worth is a sexual partner. I feel as though they can be lead astray also, and miss out on the richness that the entirety of a woman can offer.
And no, I do not think that only dumb people dress sexually and intelligent people dress conservatively.



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23 Jul 2012, 6:07 am

analyser23 wrote:
My biggest issue with it, is that I am not convinced that all women dress this way because they truly are comfortably just looking for a healthy sexual encounter with a man.
From what I see, there are many women who are mislead into believing this is the only way they can be of ANY value to the World, no matter what else they have to offer. That even if they are kind, intelligent, funny,etc, no one is interested unless you look sexually open.
Females learn this as they grow up from observing the behaviours of men, or other females who are "popular", i.e. spoken about in a desirable way by men, by watching TV, movies, VIDEO CLIPS, song lyrics, magazines, etc.
They have their entire Self esteem tied to it. The sex part is the last thing on their minds, they just want to be accepted by society, and it has been shown that this is path to that therefore they do it. They then suffer any negative consequences to do with this path, particularly if they were seeking acceptance, and ended up being used for a "service" and discarded for who they are. Maybe for me as an undiagnosed aspie girl until the age of 31yo I am more angry about it because, being socially clueless, I got sucked into this myself.
It can lead to being treated awfully, disrespected AFTER the man has gotten what he sought, abuse, diseases, unplanned pregnancies, and even further confusion as to who you are and how people see you and how to fit in. I think that even NTs have issues with this.
I am not against sex.
It just pains me to see so many women get so hurt and so lost in this World. And I even feel for some men who also get sucked in to the belief that all a woman is worth is a sexual partner. I feel as though they can be lead astray also, and miss out on the richness that the entirety of a woman can offer.
And no, I do not think that only dumb people dress sexually and intelligent people dress conservatively.

I agree 100%. It's really impacted on me personally too......once I'm really involved with a partner I absolutely hate it if she wants to dress like that in public. When I was younger I used to try to protest, but for all the good I did I may as well have been asking them to cut off a limb. So now I just avoid the scantily-clad in the first place, which means that to find the right partner for me, I'm looking for a needle in a haystack. I'm not against sex either, just that I'm still naive enough to believe that it's only appropriate in a committed, loving relationship, and that if it's not on offer, it shouldn't be advertised. I've been called misogynistic for having these views, but I think the real misogynists are the ones who applaud the flesh show. We used to get this message back in the 1970s, that women do NOT want to be treated like sex objects. Did they change their minds?



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23 Jul 2012, 6:27 am

wintermutetower wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
eh, when I wear well tailored put together outfits and well applied make-up I look more polished and professional. Also people tend to treat me better when I do those things.

THIS. I've dated guys who hated it when I wore make-up, and wanted me to go bare-faced all the time, but if I go into the mall for example, I get treated very poorly if I don't look well composed. Make-up isn't just for me, or to attract men. It's to be treated respectfully at work, receive good service at stores and restaurants, etc etc etc. Whether or not you think society should be that way is a totally different topic, but unfortunately, if I want to buy a nice pair of shoes, I'm going to have to do my hair and make-up to even get service.


I have never worn make-up to work, and I'm not really in the habit of brushing my hair much either, now I think of it. I can't say that my being "bare-faced" has held me back in anyway. I started working in a trainee position after uni, worked my way up to middle-management level by my late-20s, and after a career change in my late-30s I continue to hold a professional position. I have never been told that I should wear make-up, by anyone.

Similarly, I can't say that a failure to smear stuff on my face means that I receive worse service than other customers in a shop or restaurant. If the service is rubbish, then the service is rubbish and it's not about whether or not I'm wearing lipstick.

I find the idea of having to wear make-up and do my hair to go shopping quite extraordinary, to be honest.



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23 Jul 2012, 6:32 am

mds_02 - appreciated you posts - you gave me quite a few things to reflect upon and consider on certain subjects and perceptions.

I don't consider myself attractive, although that is purely my opinion.

I do take great care with what I eat and am into dance and surfing and other physical activities in a big way, so I am fit.

I don't usually wear make up except for eyeliner - mostly because I don't feel that I need it and nor do I like the feel of the stuff on my face.
Women at work keep pushing me to wear make up once they realised that I don't, it took them a while to realise that I didn't though. :lol:

I do tend to get ticked off at people who tell me what to or what not to wear - same goes for hair, make up etc. I am perfectly capable of making those decisions on my own and I choose the things I do for a reason.


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23 Jul 2012, 7:08 am

If a woman gets many compliments without make-up, then they have nothing to worry about, plus men would like to see a woman's face without it mostly anyway.

A little bit of slap is more for important events such as birthdays and get togethers.


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