Why do I rarely get any attention on dating sites?

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All that really proves is that the opening is small and you need to seize the opportunity to make an impact. Ranting on about quantum mechanics for two hours isn't going to create an impact as much as a few silly jokes will or something that makes a bold statement about who you are.

Wearing that outfit in your photo made a bold statement and it showed you also had the ability to not take yourself seriously, that's why it worked.

it means that there are things more important than having a silly meaningless profile. which is why he has little to no starting interest. if e gets 50 visitors a day and no mesages then maybe the profile sucks. If hes not getting any visitors or messages then more than likely he needs to work on the initial attraction part. And no ammount of profile work will fix that. you fixed that with an ab shot.

i never had the outfit as my main photo. which on most sites you cant see until you open my profile. in fact, to further my point, you were the last person to view that profile. The main picture is very bland, it has no quality to it. but it is based on the way many have suggested to use pictures that are safe, having fun doing what one likes. now, the ones that read it usually either read multiple times (im guessing hoping i message them) or actually message me.

and on my pof profile i put my main pic as the ab shot i made in reference to yours and within the hour i had a girl that had previously looked at my profile messaging me. The profile didnt even have a sentence on it, just random words.

I meant at the party, you said the outfit worked like a charm at the party you attended. I mean that makes a bold statement about who you are is far more effective whether it is real life or online.

The profile seems to be working for me and why it isn't working for wtfid2 is beyond me, I'm just sharing something that is working for me, why don't you try suggesting him a profile or helping him with his profile if you are the guru on creating profiles?

Another message from an attractive girl so it goes to show that the profile does work.

Last edited by Wolfheart on 21 Oct 2012, 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

yes, but that attitude of a silly outfit doesnt work on a dating site as easily. its not as shocking as being surrounded by vampires and zombies and then having a nightstand walk by you.

i already explained why. likelyhood is wtfid doesnt ahve many people looking at his profile. and the ones that did could have been looking for something else. I already gave a piece of advice in my thread that has gotten me almost a dozen people saying that it was a good point to bring up. making a profile isnt something that can be done by someone else, especially if that person doesnt know what the objective of the profile is.




also, that picture just proves my point even more. she didnt even mention reading your prfile, just your pictures. which i have already discussed in other threads

Just to clarify, the jokes are related to the more playful and fun side of my personality which I express when first meeting someone. If that doesn't come across for wtfid2, he needs to make a profile that is true to his personality type.

If she likes film, ask her "What kind of role would you play" or questions that can relate to her personal character and show that you are interested in her. You need to express something and show you are passionate about it otherwise it will simply come off as insincere. A good thing to do is to read a profile and ask a question specifically related to her profile. She likes animals? Ask her what her favourite bear is, koala, grizzly or panda? She likes Batman? Ask her if she sees herself as Harley Quinn or Catwoman.

That's my point so I'm not sure why wtfid2 has copied my profile because it is relevant to my humour and personal tastes. I don't express everything about myself in my profile but that creates mystery which leads to the girl asking questions. It's no good for wtfid2 to meet a girl from the website and not have any jokes, playfulness or anything relating to his profile.

no need to clarify on why people put jokes on there. its the same reason for everyone.


im confused at what your point is now because what you're making it to be and what you're showing are very different.

What I am saying is wtfid2 can write all of this information about himself but if he doesn't express it on a date, it isn't going to work because he will simply come off as insincere. Profiles are objective and my point is that he should write a profile that is true to himself and his personality otherwise he will simply attract the wrong type of girl or not the type he is looking for.

nobody is arguing that. What im arguing is why he didnt get any messages from having the same profile as you.

Probably because he hasn't got an appealing profile photo that catches attention, the profile attention gets the initial attention. If more women were to read his profile, they could well comment on him but I'm not saying that looks aren't a factor in who women choose to message.

So the two things men need to focus on for initial attraction are an appealing profile photo, creates interest and a quick, concise profile which displays traits that is true to their personality.

which i said




nobody has argued that. ill repost the specific comment about prfiles i made

I would say that roughly a profile needs to make about three or four statements about the person and anything more than that is pushing it. I don't see any reason to present myself in a devious way or to write an essay on my life story. My profile states my interest in film, it states the type of humour I have and it also shows I am a very active person that takes pride in having a good body. Having a good body and I'm talking about a muscular body shows that someone has discipline, dedication and willpower.

I don't see any reason to post photos of me at a nightclub when I don't frequent those types of places as it will attract the wrong type of girl and she won't have the correct routine, lifestyle or diet for me.

If someone likes to tune cars up, they could have a profile picture of themselves working on a car. OKCupid gives you the ability to search for people by keyword which means you can find people who have a common point of interest.

But that is not what this thread is about. Its about someone lacking the initial attraction stage.

I think we agree that serious online dating is about finding someone that has a similar lifestyle and someone that enjoys doing similar activities. Finding someone that you have a mutual respect and understanding with is one of the most important aspects.

I only have a few interests as such as film, weightlifting, philosophy, videogames and architecture. Sure, we can do something general like going to a pub or going to an arcade but if a girl doesn't have a mutual depth or interest beyond that, my interest won't be held for long. If a girl is not interested in talking about those specific topics with me, we won't get along or she will simply be doing so in an insincere way to achieve an ulterior motive and that will quickly show.

If I say that I'm an expert in marine biology or chemistry when I know very little about either topic and have no passion for either of them, it would be very insincere. It is about finding people that you connect with and sharing something you are passionate about.

Yes and sometimes that initial attraction can come through finding someone that shares similar interests or humour. For example, you like planes and cars so it would make more sense for you to go to a motor club, a motor sports event or an air show.