What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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Ugh, I dont even know? Its just another way that originated from tradition that men do all the intiating. And women in turn play games with there head. Women are not suppose to straightfowardly initiate the relationship. If they want the guy, they have to flirt subtly and play with his head. Con them into him asking her out? I know it sounds strange but I suck at getting pursured. I either want the guy or I dont. I found, I like to chase people? And frankly thats just not the way it works with my sex. So it seems guys will come after me if Im "not" interested in them? Why? Cause I do not chase them but then Im not interested? Im confused. w/e

I agree about just ''being yourself '' but if being yourself isn't working ,that is you are not dating someone you would like to be dating, then a change is definitely in order.If you desire a woman to ask you out it likely entails becoming friendly or socializing with a certain type of woman ,a more assertive one,perhaps,who will ask you out.I would speculate that many men with AS are doing reasonably well as far as being friendly with a woman they desire but the majority probably struggle with the asking out part.

Eh, I'm willing to bet there are at least some guys who'd rather be chased. I'm not good at it, but then I don't think "normal" gender roles really apply to me anyway. Guess it's just a matter of looking for like minded people.

thats the way it is but that doesn't mean i have to like it or enjoy it

That is NOT subtle. Again, read books on body language. Your answers lie in there.

This is the "easy" road out, as no one told me this, EVER. I stumbled upon it in my 30s after struggling on it my entire life. I never had someone like me to tell me what to do.

Read the books on body language related to dating. If you don't make an effort after this point, it's all on you.

There are a few reasons why it is traditionally the responsibility of the male to initiate a relationship in our society, and so the answer to your question can be rather complex, however I will try to address it in fairly simple terms.

In most species, it is the male who does the initiating, so there is likely a strong biological component, and one aspect of this component is likely testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone of ambition and self entitlement. While we generally view those as negative qualities, with respect to the survival of a species, such attributes have proven to have their usefulness. We all descend from winners. Organisms that could acquire a sufficient amount of resources to successfully propagate their genes and see to it that their offspring were also in the position to do so. In lesser animals, the male is usually responsible for the former. Acquiring enough resources to propagate their genes, and testosterone enabled him to do this.

In humans, testosterone serves much the same purpose. It bestows some human males with the tendency to be slightly more possessive, territorial, self entitled, and ambitious, and opportunistic than their female counterparts. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Humans are an expensive species that require a lot of resources. Human children are born completely helpless and it takes a number of years of dedicated care until they are able to care for themselves. It takes an average of 12.5 years for humans to reach sexual maturity and humans do not stop maturing until the late 20's. As such, in the settings in which we evolved, a man who possessed a fair degree of the qualities listed above, was a man who could usually better provide for his family.

But as such, the majority of human societies have been somewhat patriarchal. Women, more often than not, were simultaneously viewed as something to be possessed by men, and something to be protected from other men. A woman approaching a man was considered bad in most of these societies for multiple reasons. I will list two of the primary ones.

1. He might see her approach as a solicitation or opportunity for casual sex, and he might actively attempt to obtain that from her even if she resists.

2. If a woman gets pregnant by a man who will not, or cannot fulfill his responsibilities, she is in a very compromised position having to both provide for and raise a child on her own.

As such, most societies have developed a concept of honor and modesty for women, and in many societies, even western ones, it was tradition for the man to approach the woman's father first, at least with respect to asking for her hand in marriage.

While our society is a modern one, we've inherited remnants of our cultural and biological history. There are still a good number of men who are going to hope a woman approaching them out of the blue will provide him with responsibility free casual sex, and there are still a good number of women who worry, at least at a subconscious level, that if a man does not have the courage to approach them, he might not have the courage or ambition to pursue other valuable resources, or protect her either physically or socially.

As such, many woman do indeed harbor the belief that if he is interested in an actual relationship, he will approach her, while many men harbor the belief that if she approaches him, she's interested in casual sex.

when you say testosterone is the hormone or ambition and self-entitlement, well the self-entitlement part, thats the one that society, people will deem negative because unfortuneately the way life, the world, society works is that we are never owed anything, never entitled to anything, well it seems that way more for guys as well.

Another thing i noticed too, is that guys, men are always expected to be more mature than women are in dating and relationships, as in, men are expected take responsibility for their lives and actions, make their life the way they want it, overall, life expects men to be independent all the time, to be on our own

although i would never do it because i know of the consequences that would happen, but being sexually frustrated and single this long, i sometimes feel like beating up a girl's boyfriend out of jealousy and anger, mainly towards a girl's boyfriend, the type of boyfriend who is the bad-boy, who is the popular jock, the loud, talkative, popular party guy, etc.

I've noticed the strangest thing. Whenever a girl approaches me she tends to be extremely attractive.

really? pretty, cute, attractive girls have approached you first?

Yes it's happened before, I've actually gotten girls who are close to 10s approach me before. It does happen doesn't usually happen but I've had it happen.

Another reason why I made this shirt. It forces the woman to talk to me first, even if it's just to say "I like the shirt" or to ask what "BBW" stands for. LOL But it also gets people shooting pics of me or telling friends & relatives about it. (Plus it attracts attention on my profile)

well thats very inspiring, and you ended up dating them?

The vast majority of my relationships including several I really shouldn't have presued((Oh Workplace fun is taboo for a reason)) has been with the other girl approaching me. .

I even slept with my best friends girlfriend because of it. . .

When a woman approaches for me it's nearly impossible to say no unless she is fugly.

Something I read once that I think is true, is that women don't approach men because they don't generally have to. I used to work at a restaurant, and one of the waitresses there used to get asked out at least twice a week while working (sure some of those guys were total creepers but most of them seemed pretty decent). And she was pretty average-looking, certainly no supermodel. If I had women coming up to me all the time, goodness knows I wouldn't go out of my way to "approach" any myself lol. Consequently, if all of a sudden men everywhere stopped approaching women, I'm sure they'd take up the initiative.

So maybe the single men of the world should make a boycotting-approaching movement, soon enough women would have to play the 'men' role in approaching.

Hmm....intriguing, how can we spread the word and put this into action?