this is why i only get first dates

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Well obviously don't let yourself get played, but if you're not going to care about the girl you're on the date with, then she's going to do the same.

First of all you are not ugly. whatever issues you are having with dating your appearance has nothing to do with it.
Your profile seems open and honest with some humor so idk why more women are not more interested in it. as for the conversation in your first post I think the girl may have thought you were lying about ur camera issues to avoid sending her photos. she might have been turned off by that little bit of secrecy.
I too agree that you should message a girl for a time before meeting her. I don't think it would be necessary to try and build an emotional connection over the internet, just talk enough to learn some mutual interest and possible topics of conversation so when you do meet in person its not all small talk and awkward silence bc u are complete strangers.
Maybe you also need to pursue the girl a little stronger than u are used to doing. I think most girls expect guys to initiate the calls, dates, etc. Some girls may mistake your politeness as disinterest.