Trouble forgiving one thing - need perspective

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@periphery, He hadn't been drinking at all yet that night. He didn't know if he'd have to drive me home - the only reason I didnt go home was that I wanted to visit my other friend who wasn't there yet. What he said was cruel, especially knowing I was already insecure, but I'm as over it now as I'm ever going to be.

Edit: I just found out one of our mutual friends moved away and now the only chance I might get to see him may be at these people's bonfires.

Please don't attack other members. I don't want this thread closed for going off topic. :/

Well, if you have an issue with my posts, I'd like to have it brought to the light. At least privately. So send me a PM if you do.

Is it really resolved though? I saw the OP as getting really upset over something small, then punish him and withhold affection & sex until she partially-recovered from the rage of the incident. A pound of punishment for an ounce of crime. And I see the same thing happening again should he make some small mistake again, as all people inevitably do.

What are you going to do if/when he offends you again? Are you going to go into another rage like the last one? Plans to do things a little differently? Calm and rational communication will prevent some of these problems from happening but all couples step on each others' toes from time to time... Harsh punishment for tiny offenses is a great way to kill relationships slowly and painfully.

Hope you can work out something more effective!

Do you understand what the word rage means in terms of emotion?

I don't think there's any reason to keep picking apart everything the OP told us. She said it's resolved and I'm pretty sure she said other than this issue their relationship is good.

Why keep picking at her?

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EmoGlambertAspie, an aside, I just noticed that Harvey Milk quote in your sig and nearly exploded. Harvey Milk is one of my top ten departed heroes.

Hm. I don't know if the term departed is used for people who died so long ago but I think it works.

Anyway SQUEEEEE!! !! !

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@BlueMax He knows not to again, I discussed it with him earlier after finding out about my friend moving and that bonfires there might be my only chance to see him since I live almost another whole hour further from him. He agreed that if I go back he'll stay with me and think before he says anything about my anatomy. And props to whoever said they'd tell them to "go have fun in a guy's ass," I told him if he and the other guy ever say anything like that again they can both go f*ck a guy's ass because that should be tight enough for them (in those exact words, but in a light tone).

@Meems Thank you! He is one of mine too. I am straight but heavily involved in gay rights and am historian of my university's gay-straight alliance.

I know it feels like I'm "picking", but I don't see any resolutions here other than "don't @$%^#$%^ tick me off again or there'll be hell to pay."

The anger remains. The problem remains.

Believe it or not, I have your own best interests at heart because I've seen how this unresolved anger and pattern of hostility just destroys relationships and families. I don't want that for you or anyone!

@BlueMax The reason I withheld intimacy was that his remark made me feel like he didn't want it anyway and thought I was gross. If I feel self conscious I don't want to be intimate with anyone. I told him earlier that I still feel like I'm huge and saggy down there and he said "You need to stop thinking that. It's false." I told him, "No it isn't. It's the gross, ugly truth," then said "Well I guess if you say so I'll believe you".

The queer community definitely appreciates our straight allies. We wouldn't be so far along in getting equal rights without people like you supporting us. It's super to hear you're involved!

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As I stated, the only reason I withheld intimacy was that he made me feel self conscious and instead of apologizing or denying I was loose and saggy after he said it he changed the subject to driving me home or me supposedly being inappropriate in front of the couple's child. I felt like if he was going to insult my body and thought it was gross he wouldn't miss it much anyway. I talked to him about it earlier and he convinced me enough that I'm not "gaping". I made a post at the bottom of the previous page detailing the conversation, I'm too lazy to quote it.

Tip for guys - Most womens sexuality is mental, if she feels unattractive she's not going to want to boogy. So if you WANT to boogy with your girlfriend, make sure she knows that you think she's HAWT. You're much more likely to get a little rumpy-pumpy (worked for my ex, and he's not the handsomest guy in the world!).

That being said, implying that you think womens genitals are ugly (which includes girlfriends!) will NOT make her want to be initmate. She'll just feel like crud.

This has been a Kezzstar public service announcement