why won't my ex gf get back with me?

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ripped
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12 Feb 2013, 9:11 pm

Kezzstar wrote:
I know men who are so much more stronger than myself. They are the strongest people I know.

Don't generalise.


Inner strength.
Emotional fortitude.
Walking determinedly away from someone you have deep feelings for upon the basis of a thought or belief, into the arms of loneliness or solitide and staying there no matter what.
Never met a guy who could do that without being the victim of physical assault.



Last edited by ripped on 13 Feb 2013, 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

rabidmonkey4262
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12 Feb 2013, 9:14 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
There's nothing wrong with being a desperate person as long as you're willing to settle for other desperate people.

nessa238 wrote:
I've gone out with needy people and didn't find them 'repulsive' at all - they badly wanted to be loved, like all people do

You sound rather callous to me tbh
Calling a girl callous or heartless because they reject someone is unfair. It's more "nice guy" crap.

I'm no stranger to rejection and more recently (thanks to discovering I'm actually quite the stud) I've been the person having to do the rejecting most of the time. It's actually not as easy as you think. Most times I actually feel worse about turning someone down that likes me than I do about having my heart broken. Unless you've been on the other side of rejection you can't get a proper perspective.


I've been on both sides and 'repulsive' is a word I'd never use about anyone I've been out with. It says more about the user of the word in my opinion. It's a nasty, aggressive, judgemental word.

You can tell a hell of a lot about a person by the type of language they use

I want people to feel they shouldn't let anyone judge them harshly in the dating game and if they do it's the other person's problem!

People who judge others harshly and look down on them are not worth anyone's time

They think their judgements make them a 'higher quality person' who doesn't tolerate 'losers' (another word I can't abide!)
but it's the opposite

Kindness and patience are the qualities people should be looking for in a date/partner, not people who look down their nose at others and sneer!
When you're dating you're essentially finding a future parent to your children. If you're not judgemental and picky about your choice, you will be talking to divorce lawyers in a few years. I want a guy who is worth my time. Settling for someone who is desperate is only going to end in disaster.


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Kezzstar
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12 Feb 2013, 9:25 pm

ripped wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
ripped wrote:
I know men who are so much more stronger than myself. They are the strongest people I know.

Don't generalise.


Inner strength.
Emotional fortitude.
Walking determinedly away from someone you have deep feelings for upon the basis of a thought or belief, into the arms of loneliness or solitide and staying there no matter what.
Never met a guy who could do that without being the victim of physical assault.


Funny, I know a fair few.

Actually, most of the blokes I know are like that.


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ripped
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12 Feb 2013, 9:31 pm

To attract the best partner, you become the best yourself.
You dress as well as you can within the style of your group.
You keep yourself as clean as you can.
You become as healthy as you can.
You get the best job that you can.
You make yourself look the best that you can.
You learn how to be the best all round person that you can.
And then you get the best partner that you can.



Last edited by ripped on 12 Feb 2013, 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ripped
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12 Feb 2013, 9:35 pm

Kezzstar wrote:
ripped wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
I know men who are so much more stronger than myself. They are the strongest people I know.
Don't generalise.


Inner strength.
Emotional fortitude.
Walking determinedly away from someone you have deep feelings for upon the basis of a thought or belief, into the arms of loneliness or solitide and staying there no matter what.
Never met a guy who could do that without being the victim of physical assault.


Funny, I know a fair few.
Actually, most of the blokes I know are like that.

Actually most blokes are not.
So you say men have physical superiority outside, and men have emotional superiority inside, and where does that leave women?



MXH
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12 Feb 2013, 9:42 pm

ripped wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
ripped wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
I know men who are so much more stronger than myself. They are the strongest people I know.
Don't generalise.


Inner strength.
Emotional fortitude.
Walking determinedly away from someone you have deep feelings for upon the basis of a thought or belief, into the arms of loneliness or solitide and staying there no matter what.
Never met a guy who could do that without being the victim of physical assault.


Funny, I know a fair few.
Actually, most of the blokes I know are like that.

Actually most blokes are not.
So you say men have physical superiority outside, and men have emotional superiority inside, and where does that leave women?

Boobs



Kezzstar
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12 Feb 2013, 9:51 pm

ripped wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
ripped wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
I know men who are so much more stronger than myself. They are the strongest people I know.
Don't generalise.


Inner strength.
Emotional fortitude.
Walking determinedly away from someone you have deep feelings for upon the basis of a thought or belief, into the arms of loneliness or solitide and staying there no matter what.
Never met a guy who could do that without being the victim of physical assault.


Funny, I know a fair few.
Actually, most of the blokes I know are like that.

Actually most blokes are not.
So you say men have physical superiority outside, and men have emotional superiority inside, and where does that leave women?


Who said superiority?

There are some who happen to be stronger emotionally than me, a woman (there are also women out there who are emotionally stronger than me, le gasp!). I know one who after ditching aforementioned woman who had hurt him, found his emotional equal in another woman. They now have the most adorable baby in the world.

Just because you don't have emotional strength, doesn't mean other men don't either. And it doesn't mean it can't be worked on.


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JanuaryMan
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12 Feb 2013, 9:56 pm

Why can't both genders have the potential to be equally extraordinary?



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12 Feb 2013, 10:09 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Maybe it's because of what you said in another thread, that you made her feel like you didn't care about her. That will tend to drive people away.


yeah, I admit I was a jerk towards the end of my relationship. But still I try to fix things but she just didn't want to date me again.
I don't know why she could not give me a second chance. I don't bother her but whenever we run into each other, I always hit on her again. I wish she would take me back. But it's her decision and I can't make her do anything.



Fnord
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12 Feb 2013, 10:10 pm

Then give it up and get on with your life.


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billiscool
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12 Feb 2013, 10:34 pm

ripped wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
Quite frankly, it's no-one's business why person A won't go back to person B. If person B doesn't like it, then tough toenails. Person A has every right to be left alone.

Move on. Just because she dated you once doesn't mean she has to again. My ex could make all the changes in the world and become the perfect man but there is NO way I would EVER go back to him.


hey billiscool: Like I said man, they are stronger inside.
Get a new girl.


They won't date me. They think Im a ''wimp'' ( I am not) my ex gf was the perfect woman for me.
she accept me for who I was. She wanted to date me and have sex with me. and she wanted to marry me too.
She even talk about us getting married. And I almost ask her to marry me. but it just didn't happen.

we were very close until the last couple month.



billiscool
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12 Feb 2013, 10:36 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
billiscool wrote:
no, it's illogical. she dated me before. she loved me before. if happen once, it can happen again but
of course it's not. You ladies are lucky, If you act like a jerk for a couple months towards your boyfriends.
Your boyfriend would be like ''yeah, that cool'' but I do the same and she leaves me.
And she won't get back with me. Yeah I admit I wasn't perfect. But we had good times, but no she
has to focus on the last two months when we were dating. Not on the good stuff.

If you love someone before, you can love them again. make sense.

There's no male/female differences here. It has happened to me as well. I feel like I'm a "better person" now than I was when things went wrong in our relationship. But he doesn't want me any more. The damage is done. He doesn't love me anymore. It's just the way it is and you can't figure it out logically.


btw my ex gf looks very similiar to you. That one picture when you had your hat, you look just like her.



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12 Feb 2013, 11:57 pm

maybe shes seen all the constant thread starting/attention seeking
and fails to respect this in you



ripped
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13 Feb 2013, 1:21 am

billiscool wrote:
They won't date me. They think Im a ''wimp'' ( I am not) my ex gf was the perfect woman for me.
she accept me for who I was. She wanted to date me and have sex with me. and she wanted to marry me too.
She even talk about us getting married. And I almost ask her to marry me. but it just didn't happen.

we were very close until the last couple month.


To attract the best partner, you must become the best yourself.
You dress as well as you can within the style of your group.
You keep yourself as clean as you can.
You become as healthy as you can.
You get the best job that you can.
You make yourself look the best that you can.
You learn how to be the best all round person that you can.
And then you get the best partner that you can.

You cant go back to the past.



nessa238
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13 Feb 2013, 4:04 am

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
There's nothing wrong with being a desperate person as long as you're willing to settle for other desperate people.

nessa238 wrote:
I've gone out with needy people and didn't find them 'repulsive' at all - they badly wanted to be loved, like all people do

You sound rather callous to me tbh
Calling a girl callous or heartless because they reject someone is unfair. It's more "nice guy" crap.

I'm no stranger to rejection and more recently (thanks to discovering I'm actually quite the stud) I've been the person having to do the rejecting most of the time. It's actually not as easy as you think. Most times I actually feel worse about turning someone down that likes me than I do about having my heart broken. Unless you've been on the other side of rejection you can't get a proper perspective.


I've been on both sides and 'repulsive' is a word I'd never use about anyone I've been out with. It says more about the user of the word in my opinion. It's a nasty, aggressive, judgemental word.

You can tell a hell of a lot about a person by the type of language they use

I want people to feel they shouldn't let anyone judge them harshly in the dating game and if they do it's the other person's problem!

People who judge others harshly and look down on them are not worth anyone's time

They think their judgements make them a 'higher quality person' who doesn't tolerate 'losers' (another word I can't abide!)
but it's the opposite

Kindness and patience are the qualities people should be looking for in a date/partner, not people who look down their nose at others and sneer!
When you're dating you're essentially finding a future parent to your children. If you're not judgemental and picky about your choice, you will be talking to divorce lawyers in a few years. I want a guy who is worth my time. Settling for someone who is desperate is only going to end in disaster.


I have to say you are the most neurotypical-sounding person in attitude that I have ever come across on these boards.
I have never wanted children and so dating has never been about finding a parent for my children. This is pure NT-speak.
You also imply it's natural to marry as well as have children - I would say it's far less common for a person with Aspergers to a) marry and b) have children so it's certainly not the norm. A lot of us don't want to blindly follow convention as NTs do. Please tell me you don't have a 'Five Year Plan' as well



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13 Feb 2013, 4:15 am

Well, nessa, people with Asperger's come in all sorts. And every Aspie experiences a different life that leads them to be a different individual from other Aspies.

Some Aspies are rude (like me somewhat). Some Aspies are liars. And some Aspies are quite passive-aggressive.

Not all Aspies conform to your ideals of being an Aspie.

The only thing that's exclusively common among all Aspies is they're naturally social inepts ... and even that is to varying degrees.