What NT's want

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But we didn't argue.

Do you look like your avatar Ilovemyaspie?

I could always say NT women cant stand aspie men!! And then you can say "thats not true!!"
then I can say "ok your right" and thats when the making up shall begin!! Hehe

well I got a good laugh out of this thread.

Why's that then?

Anything in particular you found funny?

Or is this just an attempt to show your superiority to the 'silly people' on this thread?

Because it's failed

Dismally

lighten up. I didn't mean it in a mean way, I had a good laugh at some of the comments to stuff (that intentionally was supposed to be funny).

Last edited by mrbagle on 15 Mar 2013, 4:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ok

Another NT.That's what they want,or to try and make you NT as a project.
Or someone they can manipulate and control.
I never thought I was first choice in a NT world.
I do not care what they want from me,they can't have it.
They just want a "fixer upper",no thanks.
I'm fine with the bats in my belfry.
A NT would try to shoo them out.
I'd rather have bats.
I like them better.

- Compassion, understanding and empathy (although demonstrating/showing empathy doesn't come easily to many people with AS).

- Someone who is truly interested in who they are and their lives, and doesn't just talk about themselves/their interests

- Someone who is like them in terms of personality - similar interests, attitudes, and views

- A positive attitude towards life and other people (and I emphasize this because there are some people on this board with a negative attitude towards the opposite sex or think that others are "out to get them" - this is not attractive to others at all)

- Someone who is matched with them in terms of physical attractiveness (though occasionally there is the scenario involving a wealthy older man/attractive younger woman)

"some people on this board with a negative attitude towards the opposite sex or think that others are "out to get them" - this is not attractive to others at all"

People are affected by their life experiences - they don't develop negative attitudes just to annoy you!

A sweeping comment like that tells me one thing - an insensitive person who hasn't got a clue about how badly other people suffer in life is speaking!

I'd be thrilled to not make your grade!

If life has treated a person very badly it's often very hard for them to be anything other than negative about it

You sound like one of these people who abandons anyone who gets depressed in their vicinity

"Don't drag me down!"

Do it by all means but please don't act like it's a good life strategy - it isn't

Ohhhh you're a consultant and professional speaker on all things Asperger - that explains everything!

^ I am just going with what I have found to be true in terms of life experience, and as well, I read quite a number of articles on stuff like this. This is what I've generally seen to be successful in others who do gain a relationship and make it last. I am not personally attacking you nor anyone else who would fit in this category. I am just explaining, simply, that this isn't something that people receive well, whether your goal be friendship or a relationship. Even if you have had negative experiences, these can be worked through though therapy, counselling or social support...there ARE ways around it, and if you want to work aroudn it you HAVE to recognize that it's a problem and do something about it... because if one takes it out on other people, they generally do not have many friends or relationships.

Just because I am a consultant doesn't mean I know everything, nor do I think my advice on here should be prized above others. We all have things to contribute. I am also not personally attacking you, if that's how you are interpreting it.

We all have different opinions: this is just what I think and if you disagree with what I think this strongly, you would be better off keeping it to yourself and not saying anything at all. Why do you feel that you need to say things that you know will hurt others? There is no need to be sarcastic and rude to me here.

I would also consider this a personal attack, which is not tolerated on this site.

I can't convey what I want to say politely as it would take years!

Suffice to say I think you are judging the situation from your elevated platform and you seem to think we are all capable of achieving the same as you or that we even want to achieve the same as you

You do not represent the norm for anyone but yourself and I strongly resent that you are trying to impose your idea of normality or what people need to do or how they should be onto others

People aren't broken machines to be 'fixed' by therapy to make them 'good enough' for relationships!

I can't stand this kind of intolerance - my life has been full of it - it brings out the very worst in me!

It is not a personal attack, it is a registration of my feeling oppressed by your advocation of having to conform to a normalised stereotype before people will want to know you

Last edited by nessa238 on 15 Mar 2013, 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not sure where you are coming from....^^^


I personally disagree with:



and this:



regarding this:



That's not an argument, that's a difference of opinion!

Basically I know a person who is trying to oppress me with 'the system' when I come across one

That is not necessairly true and I would say definitely not true of the NT's here. When I discovered my bf was Aspie it was MYSELF I set out to change not him. How can I communicate more clearly, how can I avoid causing meltdowns. I have had several NT women here contact me through email asking for advice and it usually starts with "fix him so we can have a better relationship" and the fix him part is because "he" isn't communicating etc as she is use to. EVERY time I say the same thing.. you need to change your aproach to communication so that he can understand and when he feels comfortable he will be better able to pick up on subtelties here and there. I beileve this because I live it. Not one ever said oh no I need to change him. It was always "well how do I change me" and not one person has ever complained or said anything negative about the aspie they were dating except "we just can't communicate" It is also my experience that communication between women and NT men is about as difficult as Aspie men because NT men also process in concrete fact not all emotional. The big difference is that the NT man can pick up on tone and body languge easier. The best part about dating an aspie in these situations is that the NT guy can pretty much figure out what is upsetting the NT girl but just chalks it up to crazy girl stuff. the Aspie guy.. once he figures out what she nees actually trys to make things better. And personally a few bats in the belfry are a good thing I like quirky. My current favorite quote "normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly" love it all the more because it was from Morticia Addams (a little creepy and cookie lol)

I want to point out that this has absolutely nothing to do with power or privilege. Yes, we have had different experiences, but I am not judging yours or anyone's own experiences and never post with any sort of manipulative or malicious intent. If I did, I would have made some enemies pretty quickly on here. When I am making general suggestions on this forum, I am not talking about myself: I am referring to what has worked with others on the spectrum I know, and these people are diagnosed and have pretty obvious characteristics. I want everyone with ASD to aspire to their personal bests...and personal bests are different for everyone. The last thing I want - or expect - is for everyone to be like me, because I'm sure as hell not perfect. I have even met quite a few people with AS who I feel are more adapted to the world and accomplished in life than I am.

It does NOT mean that I am referring to you specifically or that you have to even respond to what I say in the first place. If you don't like my views, ignore them. Regardless of your intent, the things you have been saying to me are both rude and uncalled for. Looking through this thread, you have also attacked some others who don't agree with your definition of what an NT is and think they are manipulating you. If you disagree with someone, don't insult them or their characters. Simple as that.

I'm done here, and I have alerted the mods to this thread.