Aspergers and Harems?

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This is in my opinion the kind of comment that lowers the learning curve on this kind of system where there is so much potential. Yes, he is pushing the river, but so what??? Please try to build up your tolerance for words. It is just words and not true simply because he says it.. Do you get that? I understand there are politeness parameters on this system, but when you call out for the moderators you are kind of inviting them to shut down the entire thread and cut off everyone's communication. How self-centered and self serving is that? And for what purpose?

And to the person who suggested these people never talking to each other again, is that how you recommend to solve relationship problems? How bout just a time out?

If you look at the axis, it doesn't say anything (especially because the sample size isn't specified).

I like to quote:
http://science.slashdot.org/story/07/08/01/1254250/smarter-teens-have-less-sex
Proves that I'm a genius.

She is not the one to blame.

Both of them made it clear that they can´t tolerate interacting with each other.

Now a rational person would just say ok I cant get you so Im just going to leave this thread and please avoid trying to engage in another debate with me if its going to become another screaming match.
Now since we are in the internet everyone has to show how though they are by not wanting to be the first one to suggest that you two just stop interacting.


As a moderator I can either:
-a) try to change people´s behaviour so that they build as much tolerance as possible and this events dont repeat themselves
-b)suggest that both parties just avoid contacting with each other and a warning of what will happen if there is contact.

Sadly enough when you try to go down the a route most people laugh at you for trying to change their behaviour over a screen.
Since b clearly states what will happen should you avoid following our advice to stop contacting each other member´s tend to react much better to it.

I guess you did not understand my message, and that is sad, but it is fascinating that everything you wrote had nothing to do, as far as I can see, with anything I wrote, Two entirely different sets of ideas.

I do admit I just skimmed this thread really fast and did read the last part of your message so did not realize you were the moderator or I would not have written what I did.

I get your point about point about one solution being just to leave this thread, and according to the parameters on rudeness here, yes, that would be rational, but ultimately, in the larger picture, in terms of human learning, there may be different gradations of reason.,

Yeah,on a system with this kind of moderation (which I am not even saying is bad, as I think it does serve a function on this particular forum where, for one thing, a lot of people are super-sensitive and some really deeply hurting and have been bullied in the past), people will tend to stay away from each other out of fear of being banned or censored..It really does weaken people in my opinion and is even a form of enabling, but I can see why someone might take the approach that is taken on wrong planet, and in terms of your particular approach to moderating, if you have to protect people from a few words because that is your given job, it is much better than shutting down an entire thread which is what I have seen happen three times in the short time I have been here, once when I was really communicating with someone and it was very profound. (He and I had nothing at all to do with the altercation that occurred, and yet suddenly our conversation was just cut off).

Anyway, my message was not about who was to blame, but about calling for the moderator. To blame for what? A few words? I do not want to get into a philosophical discussion about this, as I can see some people might place a different value on the words that were spoken in this particular instance. Calling someone crazy on this particular forum or maybe anywhere is not such a good idea (actually he did not even say she was crazy, but that she was acting crazy), but calling for the moderator because of that kind of comment is something else entirely, and that is what I was addressing.

Are you really twenty two? My grandson is almost 21. I do think he has a lot of understanding for such a young person, and you do, too. It's just that older people can be kind of fossilized, so please be patient.



It is possible to change people's behavior over a screen. I am a social scientist and my special subject of study for many years is how to do exactly this on the internet, but taking away all friction and contrast makes it less possible. Again, I am not saying it should not be done on this particular system, but it is not the same as learning. It is probably best that the interactions here equates to the situation in ordinary life as much as possible, and in some ways there is a much greater potential in that writing words is not the same as actually shouting in a room full of people, so people can experiment more freely with the use of words--there is a chance for people to kind of act things out without really hurting anybody..

Your idea to have these people take a time out is really much better than to shut down an entire thread where other people who are not involved in the altercation are communicating, but to tell two people they cannot talk to each other forever is, in my opinion way too limiting. I do not know what another solution would be.....but something does not feel quite right about it...and am not really that deeply engaged in the subject of how or if moderation should occur on this system so am not really trying to change you or your approach in this instance, but am writing more from the perspective of learning and inquiry..

Most Asian girls are extremely jealous >_>

But good luck it sounds like a worthy endeavor.

The first issue that comes to mind is the time and effort required for care and maintenance of a harem of any size, combined with the fact that the majority of women wish to bear a child/children. It's quite a bit of work maintaining one relationship once you have a child, and while I suppose having 3+ men to help with the child/ren helps ease the workload, I am not sure if that's enough to offset the work required for the multiple relationships. Paternity issues enter into this here, as well.

You are also not supposed to have sex for six weeks after childbirth, and many women require a longer period of time to recover. What will the harem do for all that time? I suppose the woman would have to hand out lubricant and Victoria's Secret catalogs between diaper changes.

Add to that the fact that there are not many women who have a high enough sex drive to desire multiple partners in the first place (compared to the number of men), and it seems like an unpopular lifestyle choice for those of us with two X chromosomes.