What do you think of online dating sites?

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I think you really need a few dates before you can really know if it is going to go somewhere with the other person or not. The problem is a lot of the women I’ve met have said that if they don’t feel anything after the first date it’s not worth pursuing.

The other problem, at least for me, is that even when I get to three or more dates I am always too cautious to make a move. How do you know when to try and kiss the girl or hold her hand? How do you know if she will be receptive or not? Any ideas?

Years ago now, I was curious about eHarmony, so I registered and filled out their very, very detailed questionnaire. They really do a great job of asking actually quite profound questions, which indicated to me a real attempt to match people with quite a deep set of criteria of compatibilities. I enjoyed filling out the questionnaire and felt my answers painted a fairly fully realized picture of me as a person.

At the end of it a page came back saying......there is no-one on their database that would make a good match for me at this time. It left me feeling like I'm so weird I wouldn't be a suitable partner for anyone.

I broke eHarmony.

It seems like you just cannot win on those sites. Obviously I've only experienced it as a woman, but here's my findings:

If I'm clear about what I want and don't want, I'm "intimidating".
I'm I'm not so precise and leave it open, I "don't know what I'm looking for".
If I try take time to get to know someone before judging them I'm "leading men on"
If I decide they aren't right for me before too long I'm "judgemental"
If I don't include a picture, then I must be "ugly and hiding it"
If I do include a picture, I'm "asking for attention"
If I write a lot about myself I'm called "narcissistic" and "nobody reads all of that" (it was three paragraphs)
If I don't write a lot about myself I'm "just on here to boost [my] ego, not serious about dating"
If I'm flirty, I'm "looking for a hookup" and "easy"
If I don't flirt and I'm serious, I'm a "prude" and "difficult"

Honestly ... wow.

These sites have been successful for me. Seeking Arrangement, Facebook

The online dating sites can be less stressful than a singles bar. The key is to meet someone on the dating site who will meet you for a "get to know" meeting at a coffee shop or restaurant like a Chilis. Pick a place where you don't have compete with loud music in order to have a conversation. Ideally a place you are familiar with in an area you can get to on time. The place should not be one where it is difficult to get a table. I like to stick with familiar places being somewhere I might face unpleasant surprise in atmosphere of place, etc.

As you gain experience with the online dating scene your confidence and skills at this will improve.

I have been on and off dating websites with very little success. Once fall school semester starts, I think I may and try a more traditional route when it comes to dating. For now, however, I do in fact have a profile that I use incredibly regularly.

My mileage with dating sites has varied. Every relationship I've had so far in my life has originated on a dating site...sad, but true.

I've met some decent people, but there seems to be this phenomenon in my local area where people approach online dating in an extremely apathetic manner. I've had people open up to me but most people simply haven't provided much more than one word responses when I've tried to exchange messages. The people that have opened up to me have gone on dates with me for a while, and suddenly we stop hanging out for one reason or another, or they decide they want to take it to the next level, and we start a relationship.

At this point, about 6 out of the 8 times I've actually been in a relationship it's ended within 1-2 weeks, (or in one really bad case, under a week). The other two times I had relationships last for 2-3 months, the first, because she lived 100 miles away so that's destined to fail, and the second, because she decided she couldn't handle my Asperger's that I had already disclosed to her early on about two weeks into the relationship.

I'm at a point where I need to learn to date in "real life", so to speak, in order to get anywhere.

That's just my experience though, I'm not actually saying that online dating is a bad thing, it could be a very good thing in your local area. I think it just depends.