The main reason why women don't date us

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The difficulty in meeting people is a big factor, the biggest factor in my opinion.

But what do you mean by sexual pressure?

I mean, not to be indelicate, the physical expectation of contact at early phases of a modern relationship.

I've thought on this a little and I've wondered if that's part of the reason why Asperger's isn't as prevalently reported in countries like China and Japan, as opposed to the US. People wait longer to have physical relationships, as waiting is more culturally condoned and dating has rather severe cultural rules.

Sorry, tangent. lol

Um, kissing and *whispers* sex and whatnot, is what I meant.

It just doesn't seem like many people have the luxury of getting to know a potential partner for months or years before some sort of sexual relationship is expected nowadays. What is your take?

I live in the Middle East, so I am not much of representative reference in that regard here.

But I don't think it's the main problem for the guys here, or even aware whether they have it or not, one has to get a "yes" before finding out whether has the sexual pressure problem or not.

Sure. I understand, Boo. First thing's first.

Good luck on your date tonight, by the way!

I recognize that it may be easier for a female to get a date than a male, in certain majority circumstances. Especially if she's been blessed by being traditionally pretty. Social awkwardness isn't as glaring in a woman as it can be in a man. Social expectations and whatnot. A woman may be seen as being shy or charming if she's socially awkward and keeps to herself. A man like that would be seen as "not an option" by many women.

Perhaps they simply think he's not interested, or unavailable. Why risk being seen as a slut and initiating contact in a world where women aren't supposed to make the first move? Makes sense.

Internet dating isn't something I've ever done but I understand it has its own risks and stress. The subtle dance of conversation and so forth. Plus, *shudders* phone calls.

I hate phones. At least typing, even though I sound like as ass, I sound like an eloquent ass! lol

From what I understand, girl Aspies encounter the same, "He will think I'm a b***h" aspect of the social difficulty as men do. Ironically, being rude or very forward is more acceptable in a man, I think. In a woman, it means she's not "long-term potential." I had to overcome this in my relationship.

Is it the same for men? The overcoming the asshattery of being an Aspie - that aloofness and all that? Or do you guys just ride it out and hope the girl understands you?

Do you try to only date old friends and then, when it doesn't go your way, do they mysteriously exit your life? No explanation, just.... gone?

LMAO at the thought that someone like me can't get a woman, it's just that I would rather not waste my time on people who waste mine. I just had a woman who dumped me for their bad-boy boyfriend who she is still in love with. 2 months later, she tries to come crawling back because the boyfriend isn't around and isn't treating her well. I told her no.

Do you not like them then?

I certainly do.

NT men are more likely to reject fat women, because they're more likely to go after traditional beauty. You do realize that you made me feel even more proud of my Mickish appearance by posting that question, don't you?

It was a rhetorical question and I guess you got its point.

Then why you're saying that they want women who are one size? Tequila likes fat women for instance and I knew few guys who do too.

And btw, girls aren't less harsh on fat men, just to know.

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/te ... trial/1405

^ the fat guy got 0 messages in 4 months.

So please, whole gender female (all females), stop claiming you're less shallow than the male gender.

Both men and women are shallow. The key difference is that men are the more desperate gender generally because they generally have less options and have to do the chasing. Even for relationships, men are willing to tolerate more. This is why NT men are much more likely to tolerate their Aspie girlfriend than a NT woman is able to tolerate an Aspie boyfriend.

At the end of the day men need women (or more specifically, they need vagina more) more than women need men. That's the source of the desperation. Women have vibrators that can do the job better than men (I saw a 15" dildo the other day in a sex toy shop. I challenge any man to beat that. Plus when women are in control of their own stimulation, they can work it better than a man can) so that level of desperation for sex you see with men will never be replicated with women. Men have masturbation and Flesh Lights and for those with the disposable income, escorts and Real Dolls. But any man who willingly admits to preferring masturbation to sex or using these things will be seen as a loser by society. Society places so much of male identity and our masculinity on our ability to "get laid". That's something chicks will never understand because society sees you as a slut with just one slight sexual indiscretion. It's a different dynamic.

A lot of people in the manosphere think that the introduction of VR sex in the not-too-distant future will be a game changer. But I think men will continue to be too embarrassed to replace the "real thing" with a substitute like that. Even if the substitute will feel very realistic and feel really damn good. Men live to "get laid" to earn the respect of other people. Women, similarly, live to earn the respect of other women (and getting laid is not how they earn respect among their peers. Landing a "catch" of a boyfriend, however, is one of those ways in which they earn respect). Women are very competitive with each other and want to impress their peers and sometimes even their families.

Women do need men to an extent. But women can earn their own money these days so they don't need a man to support them anymore. Thus no reason for a woman to be desperate anymore unless she's very unattractive. If you need a man to lift heavy furniture for you or clear the cobwebs, you can just pay a man to do it. No husband/boyfriend required. Or get your daddy/brother/uncle to do it for you. Or offer a man sex in exchange for manual labour (he'll gladly take it because men are desperate horn dogs). Women still want love and companionship from a man. But women only really want that from a guy they deem alpha enough. Or maybe they'll settle for a beta who can provide for them after they rode the alpha circuit in their younger years and leave you with the sloppy seconds.

If men stopped giving a s**t about the social shaming (quite frankly my love and sex life is nobody's business), men wouldn't be so needy and the level of neediness would be equalized between the genders. Yes men want companionship too, not just sex. But so do women. There's absolutely no reason for men to be more needy than women aside from craving sex more.

Last edited by feenie on 01 Jul 2013, 3:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^ True, all this is true.

Sounds horrible in the manosphere.
I recommend leaving it and joining the real world, where people don't live in gender cliches.
Most men here see women as equals, rather than vaguely contemptible sex objects.
There's even such a thing as finding a partner with the same sex drive!

Now sloowly step away from the sex toys. You can do it!

Significant elements of the manosphere do view women as contemptible sex objects. I just see people as contemptible period. The problem with the manosphere is that they make it seem like it's just women that are the devils and that the poor men can do no wrong. But both genders are pretty shallow. Women are just better equipped to act out their selfish impulses because they are the far less desperate gender and they have far more options than men in 2013.

Desperation for sex does not equal sex drive. Far from it. Based on the OKCupid match answers I've seen from women, the average chick would ideally like to have sex every other day with their partner. More women than you would think would ideally want it everyday. The core difference between men and women is that guys are far less choosy about who they'd have sex with than women. Women are fairly selective of who they'd have sex with.

You do know that lots of women own sex toys right? Or are you that sheltered?

Feenie - I was being somewhat satirical.
Your first post gave me the impression that you are a manosphere resident - it can be difficult to interpret tone in the written word.
I'm not familiar with dating sites, but there sounds to be a big discrepancy between how people present on there , and the people I see in offline life.

The desperation scenario is something I remain grateful to be oblivious of.

The 15 inch dildo is ridiculous. Women can be perfectly satisfied with the average 10 inches

....because were aspies? *shrug*

Ironically, your satire confirmed more Feenie's point regarding the general attitude toward men using sex toys.



But he is talking about the real world, are you that sheltered?

It did sound like that when I re-read it! I meant step away and don't think that women prefer toys to real live men........
(Stamps feet) You men should know what we mean at all times

Seriously, people are really like the gender cliches on TV in your countries?
I guess things are different all over the world.