28 Oct 2013, 12:23 pm
28 Oct 2013, 12:25 pm
28 Oct 2013, 12:33 pm
Shau wrote:
lost561 wrote:
Ok master shau.
Yes, call me master cause I'm the big bad alpha now.
My main concern was that it sounds like you were doing pretty good before (without the Lost561-style Gorilla chest thumping.) The fact that this guy is worshipping your conduct like some sort of "player supreme" should be a red flag for you. People with actual relationship experience (6+ years in my case) are simply trying to point out why such conduct can lead to a downward spiral.
My advice: Do what you're going to do but make sure to be mindful of the fine line between assertive and a**hole. Countering emotional manipulation with more emotional manipulation will never fix the issue and is indicative of a lack of maturity on both your parts, imo.
28 Oct 2013, 12:37 pm
28 Oct 2013, 12:38 pm
lost561 wrote:
Typical wrongplanet woman behavior. Trying to swing nuts that she doesn't even have. 
I don't see any point in this comment.
28 Oct 2013, 12:38 pm
Lilya wrote:
Let us hope so. I have a feeling that this isn't the last thread you'll make about your current relationship
With respect to OP, I wonder if it came down to mind games who would 'win' between him and his partner. I wonder if he saw a thread by her with a similar title, how he would react.
Hope it all goes well.
Last edited by octobertiger on 28 Oct 2013, 12:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
28 Oct 2013, 12:39 pm
Geekonychus wrote:
Shau wrote:
lost561 wrote:
Ok master shau.
Yes, call me master cause I'm the big bad alpha now.
My main concern was that it sounds like you were doing pretty good before (without the Lost561-style Gorilla chest thumping.) The fact that this guy is worshipping your conduct like some sort of "player supreme" should be a red flag for you. People with actual relationship experience (6+ years in my case) are simply trying to point out why such conduct can lead to a downward spiral.
My advice: Do what you're going to do but make sure to be mindful of the fine line between assertive and as*hole. Countering emotional manipulation with more emotional manipulation will never fix the issue and is indicative of a lack of maturity on both your parts, imo.
This is very good advice.
28 Oct 2013, 12:48 pm
Lilya wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Shau wrote:
lost561 wrote:
Ok master shau.
Yes, call me master cause I'm the big bad alpha now.
My main concern was that it sounds like you were doing pretty good before (without the Lost561-style Gorilla chest thumping.) The fact that this guy is worshipping your conduct like some sort of "player supreme" should be a red flag for you. People with actual relationship experience (6+ years in my case) are simply trying to point out why such conduct can lead to a downward spiral.
My advice: Do what you're going to do but make sure to be mindful of the fine line between assertive and as*hole. Countering emotional manipulation with more emotional manipulation will never fix the issue and is indicative of a lack of maturity on both your parts, imo.
This is very good advice.
I'm not surprised by this comment.
28 Oct 2013, 12:51 pm
Geekonychus wrote:
Shau wrote:
lost561 wrote:
Ok master shau.
Yes, call me master cause I'm the big bad alpha now.
My main concern was that it sounds like you were doing pretty good before (without the Lost561-style Gorilla chest thumping.) The fact that this guy is worshipping your conduct like some sort of "player supreme" should be a red flag for you. People with actual relationship experience (6+ years in my case) are simply trying to point out why such conduct can lead to a downward spiral.
My advice: Do what you're going to do but make sure to be mindful of the fine line between assertive and as*hole. Countering emotional manipulation with more emotional manipulation will never fix the issue and is indicative of a lack of maturity on both your parts, imo.
What's really your advice? What would you have done instead of doing what shau did? Would you say " I don't appreciate you saying things like this"
That's why in my original comment I said good job IF Shau didn't do anything wrong. If Shau was doing something wrong than he deserves the criticism. But his girlfriend was just trying to be domineering.
Tell me what you would have done to control this instead of my chest thumping method.
And by the way I've been in a couple of relationships with beautiful feminine NT women. The longest being 2 years. You've been in relationships with women totally different type of style that are much easier to get and less desired by NTs so it's not much to brag about.
28 Oct 2013, 12:55 pm
Shau wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
My advice: Do what you're going to do but make sure to be mindful of the fine line between assertive and as*hole. Countering emotional manipulation with more emotional manipulation will never fix the issue and is indicative of a lack of maturity on both your parts, imo.
I really don't think he's worshipping me. Honestly, I'm not the kind of guy to shove until I get shoved, but you can bet your ass I'm gonna shove. Call it immature if you have to, to me it seemed like a power play combined with old habits. Don't tell me people don't do them, you'd have to live under a rock.
I don't think anybody here is claiming that relationship "power plays" don't happen. That's silly. They do all the time. A good 99% of relationships ultimately fail for one reason or another after all......... I'm sure seeing a romantic partnership as some sort of competition is a very common one.
I'm willing to bet they are significantly less common (or necessary) in actual successful relationships.
28 Oct 2013, 1:03 pm
lost561 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Shau wrote:
lost561 wrote:
Ok master shau.
Yes, call me master cause I'm the big bad alpha now.
My main concern was that it sounds like you were doing pretty good before (without the Lost561-style Gorilla chest thumping.) The fact that this guy is worshipping your conduct like some sort of "player supreme" should be a red flag for you. People with actual relationship experience (6+ years in my case) are simply trying to point out why such conduct can lead to a downward spiral.
My advice: Do what you're going to do but make sure to be mindful of the fine line between assertive and as*hole. Countering emotional manipulation with more emotional manipulation will never fix the issue and is indicative of a lack of maturity on both your parts, imo.
What's really your advice? What would you have done instead of doing what shau did? Would you say " I don't appreciate you saying things like this"
That's why in my original comment I said good job IF Shau didn't do anything wrong. If Shau was doing something wrong than he deserves the criticism. But his girlfriend was just trying to be domineering.
Tell me what you would have done to control this instead of my chest thumping method.
And by the way I've been in a couple of relationships with beautiful feminine NT women. The longest being 2 years. You've been in relationships with women totally different type of style that are much easier to get and less desired by NTs so it's not much to brag about.
Personally, I was in a relationship with a very wonderful NT man for longer than you have. Good communication and equality are essential in a healthy and happy relationship. It is perfectly fine to have a mature conversation when there's an issue, but ultimatums should only be the last resolve, not some tool to make the other person obey. Things can quickly turn into a down spiral whenever they come to play and they are generally a bad sign.
28 Oct 2013, 1:08 pm
28 Oct 2013, 1:15 pm
lost561 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Shau wrote:
lost561 wrote:
Ok master shau.
Yes, call me master cause I'm the big bad alpha now.
My main concern was that it sounds like you were doing pretty good before (without the Lost561-style Gorilla chest thumping.) The fact that this guy is worshipping your conduct like some sort of "player supreme" should be a red flag for you. People with actual relationship experience (6+ years in my case) are simply trying to point out why such conduct can lead to a downward spiral.
My advice: Do what you're going to do but make sure to be mindful of the fine line between assertive and as*hole. Countering emotional manipulation with more emotional manipulation will never fix the issue and is indicative of a lack of maturity on both your parts, imo.
What's really your advice? What would you have done instead of doing what shau did? Would you say " I don't appreciate you saying things like this"
That's why in my original comment I said good job IF Shau didn't do anything wrong. If Shau was doing something wrong than he deserves the criticism. But his girlfriend was just trying to be domineering.
Tell me what you would have done to control this instead of my chest thumping method.
And by the way I've been in a couple of relationships with beautiful feminine NT women. The longest being 2 years. You've been in relationships with women totally different type of style that are much easier to get and less desired by NTs so it's not much to brag about.
What would I do? I'd do the exact same thing Shau did. Just when I played the "breakup card" it wouldn't be a bluff.
I don't want nor need a domineering and emotionally manipulative girlfriend (been there, done that, no thanks.) Nor should I have to play my own set of mind games in order to maintain balance in the relationship (likewise, been there.) That's not how healthy partnerships work. If a healthy dialogue can't be established to circumvent this imbalance, then it's clear thinks aren't meant to be.
Last edited by Geekonychus on 28 Oct 2013, 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
28 Oct 2013, 1:28 pm
28 Oct 2013, 1:29 pm
28 Oct 2013, 1:40 pm
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