We have ourselves to blame

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I am. Can't speak for anyone else.


(Waits for the people who don't understand jokes...)

yes,because if these aspie guys just admit it's
their fault,some how,that's going to make them attract women.

No, not quite. Man should not take responsibility for a woman's decision. A man just has to let the woman know that he doesn't mean to hurt her and apologize for it when necessary. The woman has to be responsible in communicating what she wants and needs. Men and women have difficulty in finding members of the opposite sex that can do this for them.

And it's not aspie thinking. It's man and women thinking. We are still men and women first.

I am. Can't speak for anyone else.


(Waits for the people who don't understand jokes...)[/quote]

most of us I have jokes at other peoples expense , should see some of the pm's I receive in response now that's funny

I think it's more the co morbid like anxiety than the aspie that makes us so repulsive to the opposite species . I can't believe drugOs chase these sort of experiences , save your $$$ I'll give you my deperonilization disorder for free .

yahoo only has nt women complaining how rubbish we are

That's not true, we know we're not perfect. I think my problem is that I come over as very unenthusiastic and cold. I need to work at learning how to trust people again. I hide behind a wall I've built.

I built that wall, no one else did.

I think the happiest and most successful people are the ones who believe in themselves, maybe they have good social skills too. But believing that someone will reciprocate my affection is too far a stretch of the imagination for me and I have allowed myself to become bitter.

Bitter is not attractive.

How many sexist, boring, unrealistic, or jerk married people do you see? I know plenty.

You people talk as if Autism is not a major factor, look again at the stats, most autistic adult men are unmarried/single.

Plus how do you know that much about them? (of aspies who blame it on AS or opposite gender).

I'm not bitter about not being in a relationship , anxiety disorder is another matter......

I am never around any women outside of my family very much at all. That's why. My fault mostly, plus the circumstances.

I hope you never do become bitter. Being bitter is horrible, I may just be depressed. I don't know. I feel a bit confused as well. I'm getting conflicting advice from all angles and I don't feel like I measure up. I shouldn't care what other people think, but they do like to tell me so their opinions are in my face.

I sympathize with feeling anxiety. One of my many problems is that I just don't talk to people because I'm too nervous. It isn't the same as anxiety disorder and I don't mean to offend you by saying I totally understand, because truthfully I can only sympathize.

Going up to people and starting a conversation makes me feel sick and uncomfortable and I prefer to avoid the discomfort than push myself through it and try and build relationships with other people, male or female. Then, even when I do manage to start a conversation I don't know where to take it and just stand there looking gawky and awkward and it makes the other person feel awkward unless they are the kind of person who likes to talk a lot.

well people confuse what anxiety is I am not scared of people though my nervous system certainly is ! it's all fright and no flight, it's ok people don't understand, I've tried with depression eg through paintings "The Scream " says it all it's saying deperonilzation , I can't wait to get my air conditioner on Monday I'm sick of living on the floor , yes that 1 or 2 degrees C makes a difference

yeah I can understand , the only friends I ever had have been total blabber mouths and when they suddenly stoped talking theirs no akward silence . , people need to learn to appreciate and take in their environment .

I agree with the OP.

I've never been better at socialising than I am now but I'm still not good enough.

I wonder around the room making conversation but still feel anxious, bored, depressed, and not connected to anyone. I have to hide this at the same time as keeping the conversation going. Sometimes I think to myself "doing this is just making me feel bad but at least I'm learning skills that will make it easier next time, and maybe next time, I might actually have fun"

It might be paradoxical but I never feel more lonely than when I'm trying to socialise. Because I put all this effort into talking to people, and even the ones that seem compatible never become friends.

Imagine if all you wanted was a needle, but you didn't have one. So someone hands you a hay stack that may or may not contain a needle. You can choose not to dive in, and live without the needle, or you can dive in and get messy and put in 110% to find that needle, because you know that's what's expected of you, but deep down you know you're probably not going to find that needle this time.

So you go home covered in hay again all for nothing. And you have to rationalise it yourself by saying, "well next time they throw me in the hay stack it might be easier". What kind of life is that


And the worst part is, I'm trying so hard not to let slip all these negative feelings I have about socialising, but inevitably from time to time I do say something that makes me sound unhappy, and I end up worrying about it endlessly. How could I let myself say that? What will they think? etc

^^ I completely relate to this.