femininity vs men's height

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I was referring to the advice given that women are more attracted to a mostly blank profile.

So I was thinking this through just now, wondering if height is more important to me than I even realise. I went back through the last 6 people I dated and here's the stats:

3 were shorter than my preferred height in a partner.
2 were my preferred height.
1 was taller than my preferred height.
The people I dated more than once were the 3 shorter and 1 taller.
Height was the/a reason I stopped dating 0 of them.

I can only conclude that my initial perception of the situation is correct: I have a preference for a certain height, but it has little influence over my actual dating behaviour. As long as I'm okay with the level of "discomfort" I feel, it's fine.

I was recently told that I am "more typical than I think", so I'm going to go ahead and say that many other females could be the same as this.

I freely admit that I'm initially more physically attracted to men who are significantly taller than me, but it absolutely doesn't prevent me from being attracted to (or having a relationship with) someone my height or shorter.

Since I don't "date," per se, it's harder for me to assess my lifetime habits, but I can say that out of roughly 10 long-term relationships in my life (beginning in high school, and that lasted more than a year), one was my height, one was an inch taller, one was two inches shorter, five were 2-4" taller, two were more than 4" taller (i.e., over 6').

I think that's the part men are often struggling with. Women may prefer taller men, but that doesn't mean that the reason they are not dating a shorter man is because of his height. It's probably a false conclusion. SOME women may refuse to date a man who isn't tall, but I doubt it is a common phenomenon.

I mean, if I only dated people who fitted all my preferences, I would have had maybe one date in my life, if that. And I would never let them go...

Aren't these articles online confirming that there is a correlation between date-ability and height? It seems unreasonable to expect that shorter men all coincidentally share some other trait that is the true reason they're not getting dates.

Just to clarify, is it lack of dates or lack of relationships that is the trend (and/or the complaint)?

Well, just based on this one (take that for what it's worth):

These suggest that it is the dating component, not the relationship component, that shorter people are predominantly at a disadvantage for. But we must be honest and recognize that, if you are in the 'dating scene', the second is dependent on the first, and that by actively avoiding certain people due to their height you may be avoiding what could have been a successful relationship - you will never know.

Can one get a new good job without going through interviews?

There are plenty of jobs that get filled without going through an advertising/interviewing process. Based on my experience in both arenas, I'd say that traditional dating is also not absolutely a prerequisite for a relationship. In fact, the "dateless" relationship and the "interviewless" job offer have been more the rule than the exception in my own life.

I'd like to add that if you're in a university, this problem is a lot less noticeable.

When I was in High school all the guys were shooting up around me and loved to tease me about how short I was, how no woman would want me because I look like a troll, blah blah blah.
Before they started the teasing, I never paid attention to my height other than some adult would call me by some nickname that alluded to the fact that I was always the smallest of the bunch, (runt, half pint, short stuff, little guy, etc).
I started to feel really subconscious about it as I already had low self esteem at the time so it just made everything worse. After leaving High school at the end of 10th grade (for reasons unrelated) I was then part time home schooled, part time community college student, but for the most part was isolated.
So I left school thinking no woman would want me and I was so much shorter than everyone else and life sucked, blah blah.

Then I went to an actual university at 18 and ALL self doubt, self conscious, whatever completely vanished upon the first week or two of being there.
I don't know if it's just college campuses, or anywhere that's a large city, but when you're around a large number of people, especially a diverse group (like a college campus), there are all kinds of people everywhere.

Most guys were within my height range, 1-3 inches taller than me, although there were many who were a lot taller than me walking around campus, I was only good friends with two guys who were 6'1-6'2.
Most of my guy friends were 5'7-5'9.
And the exact same goes for my female friends. Most of my female friends were 5'1-5'3. One was 5'6, one 5'10. One (who became my girlfriend) 4'10, and one 5'0.
In the first year and a half of school I dated 5 girls (not including my girlfriend), their heights were 5'0, two 5'2, two 5'4, and one 5'7-5'8ish.
Later in my sophomore year I dated a 5'6 female and one who I'm not sure how tall she was since she was confined to a wheelchair but I think if she stood she would be like 5'10 (she had long limbs). Outside of college, my last girlfriend was 5'9.

So I think the importance of height is increased significantly via the online world when it's a number staring at the person in the face and they can then picture to themselves what that height looks like to them, (and let's face it folks, most peoples estimation of things like height and jewel size are way off).
So in the real world, it is important to some, especially woman who are already going to be superficial about other things anyway, but when it comes to most realistic, easy going women worth actually spending time with, most don't care.
But then again, as shown above the majority of the women I dated were shorter than me. The ones that I mentioned before that may have made subtle passive aggressive pings about my height were exactly my height or a little taller. The ones who were shorter never said a thing.
And also the 5'8 girl never said a thing, (but we only went on two dates so who knows)

So it's really up to you whether you want to deal with a woman who is your height or taller and may make subtle pings, subconscious ehs, or that to them your height is a con against a list of many pros that they decided to go forward with because of the outweigh of the two.
Personally I'd rather be with a woman who doesn't view my height as a con at all, since I feel that something I have no control over should not be on the list of cons. Just like, I wouldn't want a woman to have my Autism be on her con list, but dates me anyway because my pros outweighed that con. It's still insulting, because you're being looked down on or have a negative thing because of something you can't control.
Now if the fact that I played video games too much or ate too much cottage cheese was on her con list, I wouldn't care as much because it's something I can actually change and if I like her enough, I surely would.

This is why now that I am older and have a bit of dating experience under my belt and have the confidence and ability to be much more selective over who I date, I am way less likely to get into a relationship with a female who is taller than me or my height. I may date her, but even that isn't very likely.
I would have to know her very well and see for myself for a fact that she doesn't pay attention to height, (example being friends with her and seeing the guys she dates and what she says about them).
But honestly, I don't care if a woman strongly prefers a man taller than her. There's so many women in this country alone that are shorter than me it's not a big deal. It's not like there's a humongous group of these amazing tall women that I can't have because of my height. It's just not there, and if it is, I haven't seen it so it makes no difference to me.
It's like the same thing as a girl who who isn't attracted to black guys. Yeah, it's insulting but there's nothing I can do about it and she can't change what she doesn't like however superficial it is, so we'll just go on about our ways.

Sorry for the long post.

In the context of online/ads-based dating there is a near-zero chance you would run into a person whose profile you dismissed because of their height; there is no opportunity for a 'dateless relationship' with this person, despite that they may have turned out to be perfect for you had you given them the chance. It is the negation of all opportunity with that person.

Plenty of people aren't into the dating scene at all and have relationships crossing paths through other life avenues, that's completely legitimate and is likely how it will be for me. I don't believe anyone would get an idea of who I am on a first, second, third, or even greater dates; my shell does not melt fast enough to be appropriate for dating, nobody wants to date someone for 2-3 months before they finally 'get a taste' of what someone is like once they are comfortable. They want that on the first date.

That's okay with me; honestly I really dislike how 'pre-packaged' and disposable online profiles make things. People become supermarket items all lined up on shelves and you go looking for one that pushes the right buttons; if he doesn't work then you toss him and move on. There is this consumer-like emptiness to it. Almost anyone who has worked in retail will tell you how much it sucks: why would we turn relationships into retail? I would rather run into love than go shopping for it.

I couldn't agree more.

The older I get, unfortunately, the harder it is to meet anyone *except* through online resources. I was very lucky in meeting my late fiance through POF - we messaged, then emailed, then talked on the phone extensively before meeting (we were 160 miles apart, so it took a few weeks before we could get together in person). By the time we met, the relationship was pretty much a foregone conclusion. I honestly wonder if there would have been any "chemistry" between us if we had met sooner, but because we had the opportunity to really get to know each other before meeting, we had already formed a "bond" of sorts that translated kind of automatically into physical chemistry.

Sadly, it does seem that most people are into a hurry-up meeting, a quick label check, and if the other person doesn't exactly meet your mental picture of the "product" you were looking for, you put it back on the shelf and are on to the next "product."

I imagine that the more you fit into a certain 'life situation niche', the more effective dating will be. I don't say that to make you feel old, but it makes sense that if you are part of a certain group of people who traditionally have a hard time finding each other, such as singles who are older, then trying to congregate online would work better and gives you a good basis for commonality. "Hey we all have trouble finding each other so let's use the tools of the digital age to help us." Makes sense.

When you're in a generation where being single is quite common, is largely full of people who are too young/superficial/not-introspective-enough to have any idea of what traits are truly valuable in a person, and grew up with the Internet (so is more likely to be making abundant use of it in all areas of life), well... you can see how this may result in a big mess of people who aren't compatible at all and may not even be ready for a relationship with anyone yet.