Why do people engage in fornication before marriage?

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I wonder about that, considering that I used to have erectile-dysfunction (damn you SSRI "meds" amongst other damage-to-body some time in the past factors), but find that doing certain things & eating certain foods/drinks actually seems to restore my "functionality down there" enough to be able to "perform" for a good entire hour or two (and more depending on how extreme I decide to go with doing all of my "healthy" techniques for libido-purposes). Before I describe the processes, I just want to interject that we used to have "Medicines" for health, but now we have "Medications™" instead, and to me the Meds™ are the opposite of Medicine (i.e.: Medication causes sickness/disease whilst Medicine cures/heals/treats).

They are a combination of:

* Drinking a lot more water than usual (NON-fluoridated of course [filtered/purified water])
* More physical-activity than usual (especially running)
* Eating a LOT of high-water-content fruits (water-melons in particular)
(Note: Eating just water-melons every day or at least making it more than 50% of all of your food-consumption can apparently "cure" a lot of "dermatoly" conditions that you might be having such as frequently dry skin that seems to always break out in rashes although I haven't tested this for herpes but mine seems to have disappeared completely and I haven't seen or felt any kinds of those itchy out-breaks for over five years now [but this might also be due to using a Rife-Machine that was designed to be able to cure every disease in existence])
* Eating a lot more bananas
* Consuming more milk (best you get the Almond-Milk and not the regular dairy milk since apparently there are sources which have apparently come across evidence of Aspartame being added into milk without requiring that ingredient to be labeled [and the "Conspiracy-Theorists™" who've done their home-work also seem to know that Aspartame actually contributes to and/or causes diabetes])
* Eating oranges (not too many at a time due to its potentially sleep-inducing sugar-content)
* Making sure that my thyroid is well-functioning (the combinations of the supplements of Iodine/Kelp, Catalyn, Thytrophin, and exposure to sun-light seem to work pretty well for this purpose)
* Eat bones if they've been made brittle enough to become edible (use a pressure-cooker for best-results)

Hmm, what else, anyway, the body also needs to be clear of any toxins (I consider nearly anything that isn't organic to be toxic or to be full of toxins for the body...), too. I think anybody should be able to "cure" their erectile-dysfunction if they have it by following these steps (I have never taken viagra or cialis and have come to the conclusions several years after my first episode of a six-hour-erection that my above-listed steps for "enhanced sexual-performance" is accurate). The steps that I have listed for "getting & keeping it up longer" will probably easier for farm-boys who've grown up in the country on a farm rather than those city-slickers who've been contaminated left & right with so many impurities found in the bigger cities and as well as probably being easier to do for those who are already athletic in their life-style.

I mean no insult when I say this, and I certainly appreciate an honest question like yours, but I think it might help you to consider that your lack of experience combined with your strong dogma are the main cause of your state of perplexion and perhaps will only leave you stuck there.

I believe--and have seen--that there are many reasons to engage in sex and many to refrain from it, and generally I respect most of them, but the fact that so many people get so worked up about it either way burdens the issue with an enormous amount of hype; be aware that you may not find what feels like a truly complete, accurate answer unless you're really ready for one.

So, if "God" wanted sex to only be for reproduction, then why did he make it pleasurable?

P.S. Somehow I knew that this was going to turn into some religious "God says" shite. If you don't want to have sex before you're married then good for you, nobodies forcing you. However, whether or not other people do so or not has absolutely bugger all to do with you. It's not your business.

THIS^, for truth!

Whatever consenting adults want to do in private is nobody else's business - not even self-appointed religious moralists who can't stand the idea that somewhere, someone might be having fun without their approval (e.g., "Puritans").

Why is it that anything that is fun, feels good, and leads to people being happy with themselves is always somehow sinful and dirty to the Bible-thumping religionists?

But those who are off wildly fornicating will lose it, along with their youth, looks and in their case very probably their health, with a very real possibility of ending up alone (sorry to be so harsh, your words seemed to me to call for a similarly strong response) given the frequent betrayals in many cases will make it harder for them to be trusted when those of their preferred gender are looking for a stable committed long term relationship, with a view in many cases to raising a family - a lifestyle of hedonistic promiscuity is not very conductive to a stable, happy and secure homelife for a child. They also seem to be rather easily jaded, if they can grow so bored with this allegedly exciting human experience that they can genuinely use words like "meh" or "casual" in connection with it. Are you seriously suggesting that someone who has been waiting (and cultivating other aspects of their humanity hopefully) in eager anticipation will somehow be incapable because their virginity happens to be lost in their thirties, forties or later? Really? Even if it ends up being so late in life that the virgin's good looks are also going the way of all flesh (probably later due to having a higher probability, indeed certainty of being free of certain diseases to be blunt) they will be able to offer things that their by now jaded and diseased promiscuous peers (sorry to resort to caricature, and please do not take offence) will find it less plausible to offer in terms of character, reputation for trustworthiness, loyalty in friendship, and being certified free of certain diseases, and a high probability of staying around as a parent - they have waited for a family long enough. "It" that is to say one's virginity has been kept rather than used and lost, in order that when it finally is lost it shall be one of the most joyful nights of two loving people's lives! Besides, the false philosophy of "use it or lose it" has contributed to making many young people either rush headlong into the bed of the first person willing to have them (which cannot be very good for one's sense of self-worth) or to feel quite wrongly that they must be some sort of freak because they have not lost their virginity by a purely arbitrary decade in their life. Honestly! Do some of you really think through these arguments in careful logical Aspie fashion? Sorry to be a bit rude, it just seems absurd to use the sort of ridicule of long term celibates that one would never dream of using in other instances.

By the way, to return to the original question, I do not believe that is either just pleasure or just reproduction that is the motive for intimate relationships. People as a rule also have a deep need for a sense of belonging and being loved, of feeling safe and appreciated; not just in a romantic or sexual context but in friendships, wider communities, in many cases faith traditions or spiritualities (or other causes wider than oneself, such as social justice campaigns or interest based groups). To claim that behaving as many beasts do (not that I am not very fond of animals) is being true to humanity's true nature is a blatant lie; the nature of humans includes the capacity to make rational conscious decisions that shape and change one's own and other's nature to an extent undreamed of by most species; how could human history with all its diversity arise if our nature was as bound by primordial instincts and reptilian drives as some seem to suggest. Besides, it often seems to reduce something potentially wonderful to a purely functional exchange, which seems a tragedy to me. Hope I have not offended anyone by speaking so plainly, but I feel strongly on this issue.

Well, due to a number of psychological/physical things which I'm not going into on here, my experience of sex hasn't been fun at all. It's quite isolating when the whole world talks about it being natural and fun when for you it's not (natural, yes, but not fun... and I know I'm the minority here). But I don't think it's bad or disgusting, or made for the purpose of reproduction only.

Except what consenting adults do in private frequently does impact other people - though the impact between the two people themselves should not be ignored either; some relationships do involve degrees of coercion and manipulation... If for example one of the two lovers is cheating on someone else, that person will be affected if they learn of the betrayal, but it is not exactly healthy for the traitor whether their perfidy is exposed or not; if the other partner is (or rather was) a friend of the aggrieved this will also add an aspect of further betrayal, which would further affect that person, as well as adding to the bitterness of the betrayal for the wronged one if they learn of it. And I have to say that in my admittedly limited experience, many Christians have a far healthier attitude to lovemaking as a joyous life-affirming activity between two loving people in a committed long term relationship, at any rate healthier than speaking of it with all the excitement and joie de vivre one would use speaking of a banking transaction, or regarding sex as so central that all other aspects of humanity are regarded as devoid of meaning or worth!

Thank you for your honesty, Cad. My experience has been largely confined to fantasies, but I also find sometimes that overtly sexual thoughts do not bring me joy or pleasure; I prefer milder fantasies about kissing and embracing - I suppose when you lack these forms of intimacy, this affects what one covets. Also, fantasies do impact at times on how we relate to real people, which is surely important to us all. And the way some talk really does seem to be designed to make already lonely people loathe themselves, which is hardly just or merciful. Also a lot of the mind games involved in some forms of courtship and flirtation seem at times disturbing to me.

But even people who do not believe fornication (premarital sexual relationship) is intrinsically wrong are not invariably able to be with the one they desire or love. And surely sex without love must get quite soul destroying at times, leaving at least one participant feeling used and cheapened? Surely we should have a sufficient sense of our worth as human beings that we do not feel that is better to be in any sexual relationship, however unfulfilling, abusive, unfaithful or unloving it might be, than to be on our own? In any case the likelihood is that all of us are likely to have periods without sexual contact, and it would be quite helpful to have experience in learning how to find meaning in other aspects of our humanity (more healthy ones that is to say, than constantly obsessing about the absent lovemaking, of which I have all too frequently been guilty).

^^^In addition to this, we shouldn't forget that marriage=/=abundance of sex.

I'm a fan of, long term relationship as the precursor to sex.

Not a fan of what most people do nowadays (or what they would do if given a chance). Seems too cheap and shallow. People are more to me than physical pleasure machines.

I also don't think people that sleep around will be good [long term] relationship material.

I am of the, "slow to forget people" mentality, so that probably has the biggest say for why I'm like this.

^^^
unfortunately for people like us, we live in a disposable culture in which even people throw away other people in favor of newer more exciting people.

Indeed, and it feels like people do that by the amount of times they'll unbuckle if given the chance.

Someone not what you want after using them up? Get a new one!

I think that people can feel used, yes. This is why communication is important. If your sex partners are interested in a relationship and you know that you don't want a relationship but take advantage of their feelings in order to get sex, then yeah that is unethical. Sex is ethical when people are honest about what they are interested in and respect the feelings of their partners. However, people can have lots of different attitudes toward sex, whether more casual or more committed. What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for someone else.

I disagree fundamentally with the basis of much of your argument with regard to sex, hedonism and stability. I sense that you come from a very different background than I do. I see in your reasoning a reliance on a sort of mind/body dualism that has long been common in Western thought. You also seem to have internalized a lot of sex-negativity (it appears to be largely religious in nature but could also be related to more secular sex-negativity).

True!