Why would an NT waste their time with an aspie?

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There's a big world out there, full of dangerous and formidable people, most of whom have to fight for survival each day, are hardened by their rough life and have little to no sympathy for First-World problems. I greatly doubt you'd dare to call them idiots to their faces.

I don't understand why NTs always get defended on this one particular board. Hell there's even a NT-dissing thread at the top of the main GAD board as I'm typing this.

Why indeed

This is the most perfect post I've seen on this forum in a long while!

Oh fair point, i'm sure i would run a mile, i probably wouldn't really want to call some of the people who are dear to me idiots either. Nature is crazy making though, and even though i am cocooned in my safe little first world bubble, death and illness and violence seeps in. The people who fight for survival every day, and who are formidable, presumably do so in self defence, or in the destruction of others so they can survive. Do you think the luxury of reflecting on natural selection, and survival comes from not having to fight for your life in very direct ways every hour? My comment though is way off about being idiots, but i still feel there is and inherent idiocy is being human. Not quite animal, not fully conciousness it seems. Trapped in a cycle of animal desires and imperatives, yet with the ability to reflect on the absurdity of living this way. You are quite right though, my comment about 'f*****g idiots' is divisive, and born of arrogance and frustration probably.

Yeah, humanity in general is very flawed. I wouldn't say 'we're all idiots' per se, but human nature has given us many flaws.

Yes, agreed, not all idiots per se.

I think my crush has thought this quite a few times...

So if I'm the 'normal' NT to the world (however, I myself consider myself an ND who has learned to dance the dance), why would I waste my time with an ND, in my case?

Well, because he is great. I admire him for things he can, or he has good skills in. I admire him for the way he is humble and sincere, even if that means he is so awkwardly honest that it hurts and I have to reinterpret his words twice. I admire him because he must have fought a lot to get here and is still fighting, or at least struggling. He's not just somebody who flutters through life as it gets handed down to him. He is tough. And that means he would accept me and respect me when things get tough for me. He may not be able to help me, but I accept that.

The ND I currently adore knows how to make me feel comfortable without my shell of careful adaptation to the world. With him, I can put my mind to rest. Yeah, maybe I am an ND as well and it just clicks. I can open his mind as well, make him talk about personal matters in a way he doesn't quickly do to others.

But he rejects me. Says I'm too turbulent, too much living a life he can't live but only think and re-think over.
He doesn't know half of who I am. I clearly understand where he comes from and why he is afraid to put faith in hands of someone else like me. Yet I can't accept it.

He once trusted me, but shied away when I told him I loved him. Hope he one day trusts me again, but it will take long... long... long. I couldn't have done it any other way, I'm for sure. If I could go back in time I would, and do it differently, with the knowledge I have now. But still... to me, this ND guy, and certainly others too, are a real treasure, a rough gem, so full of power and strength, but unseen by many. If he only knew he's worth that much to me.

I'll go out on a limb and guess it's because a lot of us are either pragmatic enough to be 100% spontaneous our whole lives, and others (I'm mostly in column b) are fastidiously interested in fixing everything, even our friendships. I'm completely bonkers about my perfectionism, though I'll compromise it when necessary because I'm also way too loyal to break up with anyone. Ever. Not doing that to anyone, don't ask why. I'm interesting because mean people suck and I'll work my ass off to avoid mean people. That's called a scenic route. Come along and bring friends...

I do cool stuff and forget to tell anybody except my cat sometimes, hence I am interesting, moreso when I'm unawares of why. I too think about this question all the time, but the answer is that nobody knows the precise roots of their interests and anyone is drawn to the right challenge. I can't speak for anyone else, but I like to begin challenges in my mind...

common interests.

Why would an NT waste their time with an aspie?

I am an aspie, high functioning ASD. To answer this question:
1. NTs do not like spending time with a 'negatively' minded aspies
2. It not that NTs waste their time with aspies because they would also waste their time with wrong NT person!
3. If you have a career pathway, and is proactive; saying they are wasting their times with an aspie means you are actually wasting your time with wrong NT person.

I always thought why NT cannot deal with me. Like I never had a date nor sex. But my friends told me they are in same situation. They are all NTs. They aren't wasting their times with me being around.

Why they aren't wasting their time with me?
This is because I am a happy and positive like minded person. I do not use my disabilities (including my hearing loss - I have to wear hearing aids) to make an excuse of issues between myself and them. They look past my disabilities upon reflection of my positive attitudes. I learn so much about the cues from them, including my family of understanding things such as someone need a hand to help and so on. It not about trying to impress them because you think they are going to see you being fully capable kind of person. It that they think and see you as a kind and special kind of person. We share experiences together, learning communication skills and perspectives. This is very much needed approach from many of you aspies!

Many friends and family always told me I am special because it is the way who I am. I never say I am special (unlike now) to everyone. They see it me. Life is a gift, and use it with people.

I am so tired of negative stuff on WP. I left two aspie support groups here in Brisbane, where I spent time with since February, because they are negative and spending too much time on complaining about NTs. They are targeting NTs in their awareness campaigns, in an offensive way. And I got bullied by someone (WP used to bully me years ago, on my old account) because I am different.

So please think about the differences in attitudes, not by what you got. Using your disabilities in a way of love, romance, sex, relationships, friendships and so on won't get you there.

I think it depends on the compatibility between the NT and aspie.

Many aspies seem to greatly differ from one another in interests, habits, routine and personality, so there's no reason to assume that a NT and aspie can't relate at all. Some behaviors and social cues and be learned, after all. A NT could be used as a good guide for that, and some men/women feel the need to be useful to their partner, so it could serve as a mutually beneficial bond.

Even though aspies are sometimes difficult, I think that some NT's can still share similar traits or interests with them that would allow them to compliment each other, not conflict. General interest/attraction can be enough to overlook and learn to adapt to undesirable aspects of a relationship with an aspie, but that can be said for any relationship.

Well said. Thanks for backing up my post. I really hope many aspies on here need to change their ways of thinking. Its not healthy.

For sure.

I used to feel kind of unwanted and inferior(only in my own mind), but negative feelings will only attract negative things to happen to you. If you're unhappy with yourself, I find that it helps to just work on what you can and commit to it so that there's less reason to actually complain about.

Doing is living.

A positive outlook on life and some good planning will make all the difference, because most of the problems caused are what you make them to be.

Exactly. This is what all of my NT friends been telling me for years, just until last week I realised this clearly. Being negative attracts negative life stuff. Being positive, will make them comfortable with you.

More recently I spending more time with my female NT friends for them getting a chance to get to know each others especially in two different perspectives. This is very reflective that I am not being negative. Giving NT friends a chance to get to you know, but being negative is scaring them away!

I think because when "Aspies" do show their love, its pure and very fulfilling, quite rare. I dont think you realize the jewel you have just by being you. While most NT's tend to hide their love. And this can be very tricky to be in a relationship with as well. And since human beings thrive in love and love is what makes them do things, this is not against evolution at all. I think "Aspies" will be around for a long time.