Is a 4 year age difference too much?

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I will go against the grain (well, sort of) and say that in my opinion, it isn't YOU who is wrong, it is society/the people who would judge you. If you feel like you have more in common with 12-year-olds than people your own age, then it is probably actually healthier for you to have a relationship (dating or otherwise) with someone that age. However, be aware that some people won't see it that way. If you are still together when you are 18, it will definitely become a problem, and in some places it already would be. Even if you were just friends, it could be misinterpreted.

I seem to be rather unusual even among aspies in not seeing the purpose of/agreeing with many of society's rules (even though I follow them for the sake of not breaking the law, except maybe in some minor instances). For me, don't steal, don't kill, don't cheat etc. are the only rules whose rationale I really "get", the others I have to pretend. So many other aspies seem to instinctively grasp why society has its panties in such a bunch (pardon the pun) about age differences and pedophilia--I would have thought that we'd all be missing that part of the brain by definition.

Anyway, your huge advantage is that at 16, you may be able to find others your age who are emotionally more like 12-year-olds, i.e. "late bloomers". At my age, some of the emotional traits I look for in a partner are more typical in 12-13 year olds, and they are MUCH harder to find in people over 18, much less at 30. Unless you get this experience out of the way now, it will get worse. Yes, age differences matter less as an adult (and don't matter at all, legally), but that's only because people are more expected to all be "caught up" to a certain level by that age, and society is sorely lacking in support structures for people who aren't.

After reading this viewtopic.php?t=299330 I've changed my mind. I would advise the OP to stay away from kids younger than him.

I can't believe this comment has been allowed to stand without challenge. I mean, you really don't get why people think pedophilia is wrong? Is that what you are saying?

That does indeed seem to be what he is saying, and having read his post twice now, I have to say I feel queasy. My son is 13 years old, and tonight he came downstairs because one of his baby teeth had come out. I gave him the £2 "tooth fairy" money. On this thread we have at least one person (I read the first couple of pages, then this one) who states that they are attracted to children, who are still at the age that their baby teeth are coming out!!

I can only think of one reason that biostructure doesn't have a problem with paedophilia, and that, unfortunately is that he himself is sexually attracted to children. I also find it really offensive that he seems to be suggesting that autistic people would be more likely to disregard "society's rules" when it comes to sexually relationships with children.

Uuurgh!

Ok, the basic answer is this- if you're 25 and you like a 21 year old, that's normal. If you're 18 and you like a 22 year old, that's a bit odd, but it's normal. If you're 16 and you like a 12 year old, you may be a pedophile. I assure you that is what everyone else would think. The youngest girl you should be going out with at your age is 15.

If you date a 12 year old you may:

Get arrested
Get the living crap kicked out of you (or worse) by her family
Lose the respect of your friends and family

Honestly dude, I have to say I'm a bit creeped out. I'd like to err on the side of compassion and say that you probably are just really immature but what the hell dude... a 12 year old? Seriously? That's just weird man...

Don't talk to her. Don't be friends with her. Forget about her. If you become friends you will eventually say or do something stupid and *BEST CASE SCENARIO* end up with black eyes and broken ribs.

Forget about her. Move to a new town if you have to.

When I was your age I had a crush on a girl I used to see hanging out at the same park I hung out with. She told me she was 15, like I was at the time. She could have passed for 19, honestly. She gave me her phone number. I called her house and her dad picked up and asked who the hell I was and how the hell old I was. When I said 15 he told me his daughter was significantly younger and asked for my address so he could come beat me half to death and run me over with his car. I explained that she had told me she was 15, he believed me because apparently she was a pathologiocal liar, and that was the end of it. Don't expect to be as lucky as I was.

You don't want society to see you the way it sees these people do you?





PLEASE go to a psychologist and talk about this before you turn into a creeper in a white van with FREE WIFI painted on the side of it.

And yes, being friends with her, with your intentions, would be wrong. Very wrong. I believe that it is what pedophiles refer to as "grooming".

Exactly.

i hardly think this person represents fathers well.

also OP i hope you pause and really take into consideration the many comments and advice you have already received. i might have most track of how many threads on this topic there are, by you.