Am I attractive? (Avatar is me).

Post Reply New Topic

I a man and I'd do. Or atleast it's not unattractive. Depends on the type of desperation I guess

Being a man simply means you have to work harder to find someone. Unfortunately that's just the way it is, I know it's unfair but nothing is fair. So stop trying to live in a fair world, because nothing about this life is fair. There's people in this world who will spend the rest of their life poor and will never get to experience love and being loved in return, and that could be one of you.

And unfortunately some people don't want to work hard for anything, they don't know the value of hard work. If something isn't easy or not given to them right away, they give up and then complain about things should be given to them. These are the people who won't accomplish much in their life whether that's getting a girlfriend, going to college, etc...

You gotta work hard even when the going gets tough.

I'm attracted to the psychologically interesting, to be sure. But not, 'I just want someone anyone will do oh good you're someone'. It later turned out my first girlfriend was desperate, as was I. It's not conducive to a stable relationship, nor is it exactly flattering. The experience was enough to keep me from being desperate myself, and in avoiding others who seem desperate.

I dont doubt some men find desperation attractive. It takes all sorts, after all, for better or worse.

Yeah. I still don't get this. Given, whatever the looks or gender, it still takes two to tango, I don't know where this 'easier' is coming from.

Desperation leads to a standards flying out the window. That makes it much easier for an incompatible match-up. Won't take long for things to fall apart in that scenario.



People watching porn aren't really thinking about long-term relationships so much as they're thinking about getting off. Of course they're going to find those sort of comments attractive. But when you're looking for a life-long partner, that sort of thing gets old fast.

Desperation doesn't make anyone attractive. Chances are they were already attractive. Desperation makes them easy to abuse, which is a different matter. I know this is a can of worms, but I agree it's much easier for women to find any willing partner, especially for one-night stands; the problem is that the first willing potential partner who shows up is very rarely the one they want. And, when they talk about this with those of us who have never attracted anyone of the opposite sex at all, it's very easy for them to come across as arrogant, elitist jerks used to taking for granted what has always been beyond our reach and turning up their little, classy noses at us for it. Don't let this get the better of you, unless you want to forfeit your chances of ever having a loving girlfriend, rather than someone to take surrogate revenge on, making any understanding or good mutual feelings impossible.

PS -- This was for darkphantomx1.

Of course you can! I think the people here see a very nice person and are just looking out for you, if a little over apprehensive.

Yeah. You'll do well.

Just exercise 5x a day for an hour a day. Eat a healthy diet. Eat out very little. Avoid junk food and get plenty of sunshine and you will be fine as far as aesthetics are concerned.

People generally don't date another person because 'awww that persons lonely' that would be pity dating and its not very nice because eventually it will come to light they did it out of pity than any other interest. I wouldn't want to be someone's pity pet.

But I digress I have given a s*** about guys posting concerns that they wont find someone, otherwise I'd never post in such threads trying to encourage them or give any kind of advice, but yeah you're right even before my current boyfriend I wouldn't have been willing to date a guy on here just because they post a thread about being lonely...that's not the basis for a relationship. Also I imagine the feeling of being with a guy who just wants anyone regardless of who isn't going to feel very good, then you don't feel like you're anything special to that guy...also it can be questionable whether the guy is putting on an act to keep the relationship on or actually being himself.

Also most guys I know find desperation to be pretty unappealing, when it comes to looking for a woman to be in a relationship with. Desperation would be attractive to someone who just wants to use another person for pleasure since due to the persons desperate state they'll be willing to do 'anything'...not just talking about guys who need somewhere to put their dick though, females use desperate males for sex to.

When I met my special someone, we were both lonely. Now, even though she is not here sometimes, I am not lonely anymore.

No, most of those men have the intention of getting off via sex....of course any woman willing to let them do that who is at least semi-attractive to them is going to be 'attractive' to them in that context. Outside of that though plenty of those guys will find the idea of actually being in a relationship with those desperate women quite undesirable. I don't think you find many guys who are looking for desperation in a potential life-long partner. Now guys who just want to get laid and feed their ego often find desperation very, very attractive.

Even desperation has standards. You'll never see a woman using me for sex. And I'm assuming, for the sake of argument, that that phrase actually means something, because I don't know how she could use me for sex, since I'd be much more interested in having sex with her than she would be in having it with me. It'd seem a rather perverse use of language to say I'm being used if I'm getting what I want the most in life. I don't care how worthless it is to those who get it effortlessly all the time; to me, it's the absolutely most valuable thing in the world, precisely because it's unattainable.

I imagine after the sex you'll find its not all you hyped it up to be....especially if it was a woman from her point of view using you for sex because your desperate enough to allow it. It feels dirty when you come to find you've been having sex with someone who doesn't really care for anything but the sexual orifice on your body...at least in my opinion. Though maybe it is different if both parties know its just sex and nothing else initially.

What if a women acted like she was actually going to be with you, had sex with you maybe saw you a couple more times and out of the blue stopped talking to you? Also if you actually ever interacted with females or figure out what it is you think is so undesirable about you and make some improvements it might not be unattainable, so in part it seems you're stuck in a self fulfilling prophecy...doesn't mean you have to be. I mean unless its some kind of obvioius disfigurement not sure what it is you think people can see that makes them deem you unworthy of so much as even looking in their direction.

Maybe constantly repeating that stuff in your head or thinking about it, like that when your out and about effects your posture and body language in such away people feel its best to avoid you. Maybe you seem hard to approach.

Just not sure what you want people to say you constantly complain about not having sex or a relationship, but as far as I can tell you don't try anything people suggest you just tell them why you specifically are the lowest of the low and it wont work. I mean what is it a curse, like your cursed never to get laid and for everyone everywhere to immediately despise your mere existence? Because there is no scientific phenomenon I know of that ensures any of this. You should question your self loathing sometime.

To spiderpig:
I really dont believe you are as unattractive as you think(i have no idea what you look like tho), but even if you arent attractive its not gonna ruin your chances of relationship, since theres a lot people who arent attractive or rich who still find relationships.. I think its more your self hating attitude thats stopping you from it and also that you that it sound like your given up and dont even try even anymore.. Like i know saying "dont hate yourself blahblah" arent gonna change anything, but maybe try to not show it as much? because a guy who totally hate himself and constantly talk crap himself is kind of 'scaring'(not litterally scared, just lack of better words and my basic english) girls away

You've never been a female being called ugly and having it inferred any sort of intimate activities with you would be absolutely disgusting for any guy it was thrust upon as a teen as one of your first internet forum experiences when you just wanted a picture avatar like everyone else. Nor been told repeatedly by male peers in school how you're not attractive, and having students of both genders asking 'are you a boy or a girl' ect.

You think that makes it easy to find a willing partner, no makes you petrified to even look available because you're afraid of how gross you'll be to them...not an easy thing to deal with. But I suppose only males can be made to feel unworthy of sex or relationships according to some of you here.

THANK YOU SWEETLEAF
These are some things that annoy me about some of the male members here who act like every female is an attractive goddess who would never ever have any problems with relationships

edit because typos