Getting a Boyfriend is HARD!!

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Males aren't approved for being passive, and we are criticized and socially stigmatized for it - usually if we are passive and complaining we can't find love, but this isn't always the case.

Meanwhile the advice to women obsessed with finding love get told the advice 'You'll fine love when you stop looking' and 'girl, you gotta focus on your own life first, and once you do, the men will be coming to you'

I'm sure Face of Boo, Wantstohavealife, and many other males would agree to me we constantly get told have to 'just make a move', 'just go talk to her', 'just do it', as if it's that simple.

ya I've always hated that gender role or social-norm that guys are expected to approach and go up to and go over to talk to the girl first, I know hating it won't change it, "Anyone can be passive, and in doing so reduce their chances of finding a partner."

Obviously if you are a guy

And if you are a girl. If I was passive, I wouldn't have had as many partners as I have had (if any? I always put in effort). Perhaps I would have had approval for that, but who cares whether people approve that I was less successful at finding partners?

He didn't say anything about getting sex, only you did.

are you saying you have dated guys, have had boyfriends in which you made the first move, approached them first?

They are not gender roles or social norms. They are inherited traits part of neurotypical courtship.

That's basically why neurodiverse girls struggle less. You can approach a guy, or at least, try to impress a guy and chase him. Many neurodiverse guys simply cannot approach.

Typical people, unlike most of us, can afford to reduce their chances.


Have you liked any of them lately? Apart from Jeff?

No, they are social norms, though still are part of neurotypical courtship. There's no evidence that it's genetic.

I have, yes. Apart from the clubbing scene, that's basically how it has to go, because men almost never approach me. As for online dating, it's about equal, well, I send a first message to someone if I like them.

Although see below, the "approach" part is usually mutual, but being the first to ask them out, yes I've done that.


My point is that if a woman IS passive, she won't be as successful, apart from those women who have so many men chasing them that they just choose between them or whatever (I don't know how that works, it's another world to me).

I was responding to the post that women have full societal approval to be passive. Who cares? If she's passive, she misses opportunities. Same as men.

(I don't know that you are correct that neurodiverse women find it easier to approach people. Most of my "approaching" interaction with the opposite sex has been while drunk or online. Only twice have I approached a random guy on the street [and only once has it happened to me], and both times I was rejected . The rest of the time it's mutual conversation due to being in the same place doing the same activity. Nobody has to "approach" the other first. But someone has to ask the other on a date first, and I've done that. Almost anyone can do that. Anyone who is typing text into this forum can type up a message.)

i am a extrovert. ill help you with being not so shy. if you want to change yourself. send me a message.

Yes I was implicating physically attractive women can get sex much easier than they can get an actual boyfriend. And people might misinterpret such females getting sexual attention from guys must mean they also easily get boyfriends...which I don't think is the case. Also it seems more often then not when it's said a guy 'gets' a lot of chicks it means he sleeps with them not that he forms serious relationships with them.

Basically it may be easy to get sex with those traits, but getting a boyfriend is more difficult and certainly depends on more than just looks.