Does dating get harder as you get older?

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Ecomatt91
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02 Dec 2016, 6:36 pm

Dating gets hard as you get older? Not in my case!

I had my first dates this year, and I am 25. It took me through 1000s of rejections since I have been asking women since I was 18 when I moved out of home for university studies.

Maturity in women helps a lot to understand aspies like myself. Avoid alcohol and drugs in the party, social environment and dating. Never consider them. A glass of wine is good. A great way to romance. Women loves it, even the young mature ones (22-28) and older into 30's. They seek mates to be with to have families and that. They become less judgmental of who you are. Virginity got nothing to do with this. I am still a virgin, women won't see this a roadblock.

Best advice is to stay away from mainstream activities and influences.



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02 Dec 2016, 6:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
They frowned upon it because she was 17, not legal age.

There's a big difference between 17 and 21 legally.

I don't get this
The legal age was just an arbitrary age use to be older and got moved down. Other countries do it at 16. Not much difference between an 17 old girl and an 18 old girl. The number doesn't make someone more mature or less. Not like at the stroke of midnight on the 365th day of their 17th year they magically transform into an adult lol

They'll still together and going get married and such. Meh

Most women say they only want to date 2 years older on their profiles



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02 Dec 2016, 6:45 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
Yes, when you are young you want to explore life with an equal partner, who is also viewing things from a similar perspective. As you get older you acquire "baggage" that younger people don't have.
So I should have started dating when I was younger, before I acquired baggage :(

In retrospect I would have liked that. To be one of two 18 or 19 year olds exploring life and each other like it was something fresh and new. To be part of a young couple like that would make the whole world feel young. It would feel as though we invented love. Everything would be new and fresh.

Now I'm old and the world feels old around me. Everything has been done before me. Everything has been done better than I could do it. I bear the weight of baggage I'd never thought of when I was 18. I have toxic thoughts that didn't occur to me when I was 18.

Back then I could have found a girl my age and started a fresh new life with her in a brave new world. But I didn't talk to girls and I wasn't interested in the world. Back then I wanted to shut the world out. Back then all I cared about was building computers, alone in a darkened room.


The sad thing is, I'VE already almost lost that youthul sense of wonder and optimism that exists in the early 20s/late teens.

Makes me feel mentally Ill, I should be blindly young and optimistic but at the same time I grew up too fast.

I feel like other people mybage, not all, seem ignorant about the world. I'm not juet talking about suffering like starving Africa kids, I mean Millenials are so sheltered and maybe young people have always felt so hopeful bd that they can change the world.

Bah. I know I'm just one insignificant decaying meatbag of organic matter 7 billion and everything I do or say does not matter and even if I change The world we all die in the end anyway and tbh I'm slightly misanthropic.

I wish I could be happy and add meaning to my life and stop thinking like a jaded bitter 30 year old but I can't.

I feel like I'm deluding myself if I thought like other young people.

Their attitude is much happier. "Just enjoy life, the people are most important, I can do anything I set my mind to".

I can be this sometimes, just pure dumb fun and optimistic platitudes, but otherwise I have all these thoughts pilaqring through my head that I let our partially here.

Remember a long time ago I mentioned we all share the general minds of people our own age, even if we are more mature or less mature than average?

That even of you don't feel 28 you still are mentally developed for 29 years of life.

Its Still true for me, but I feel like I grew up too fast.

Oh well. The meaning of life is to have fun and meaning. I have goals, they will give my pleasure, volunteering and getting gf plus friends will give me meanomg
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Last edited by Outrider on 02 Dec 2016, 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sly279
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02 Dec 2016, 6:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You're 29 effin years old! You're not old!

I'm 55, and I'm not old!

30 is the new 50.
I was called old at 24



kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2016, 6:49 pm

If you see pictures of 30-year-old people in past generations, you'll notice that they, invariably, look older than 30-year-old people today.



sly279
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02 Dec 2016, 6:51 pm

As a teen I was considered too mature and serious now I'd feuded people call me childish :cry:



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02 Dec 2016, 7:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Her view is so absurd as to not merit consideration.
She had a thing for older men. If I was 3 years older than her, she'd still say I was too young for her.


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02 Dec 2016, 7:27 pm

Maybe this is a regional thing cuz where I come from girls tend to date guys abit or alot older than them.


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02 Dec 2016, 8:20 pm

It's actually fairly common for a woman to be turned on by men considerably older than themselves.



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02 Dec 2016, 8:24 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Here's the thing, by 29, the good women are either married or in long term relationships.


So are the good men.


I hope you intended this to be funny because I busted out laughing!
Good point!



kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2016, 8:28 pm

I was a "good man" at 29....and I wasn't taken.



beady
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02 Dec 2016, 9:09 pm

You were a good one for sure.
I think that beauty and good is in the eye of the beholder.



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02 Dec 2016, 9:18 pm

There's not doubt that this is true.

Beauty is ALWAYS in the eye of the Beholder.

I was never an Adonis LOL....and now, that I'm approaching 56 years of age, I'm even less of one.



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02 Dec 2016, 11:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's actually fairly common for a woman to be turned on by men considerably older than themselves.

Why? Because they'll more successful ? Men tend to be more mature and successful older. Women mature and succeed younger.



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03 Dec 2016, 12:50 am

I would say sometimes to fairly often.

There are times, though, when a younger woman likes an older man because of his life experience alone.



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03 Dec 2016, 1:16 am

Outrider wrote:
The sad thing is, I'VE already almost lost that youthul sense of wonder and optimism that exists in the early 20s/late teens.
I feel like that too but in a different way. When I was in my early 20s/late teens, I didn't really have that youthful sense of wonder and optimism very much, not because I was extremely cynical or pessamistic at that time but because I was extremely dense at that time. I was too thick to have any wonder or optimism. I was also too thick to have any pessamism. I just had an extremely narrow focus on certain special interests. Nothing else existed.

The other thing was, I was alone. I stayed away from other people. Whatever wonder and optimism I felt, I felt alone. Actually I think I did have a little bit of wonder and optimism when I was about 18 but in a greatly diminished form. I remember discovering new music alone on my computer. I thought this was wonderful. But I should've been doing that with other youths, not by myself!

That was around about the time I discovered Wikipedia and I was learning many different things. It was so interesting. I marvelled at the great detail and broad scope on Wikipedia and other reference sites. But I should've been doing that in college, not in my bedroom!

My current pessimism isn't all because I feel like my present situation is bad, a lot of it stems from my past. I was a reclusive underachiever and I feel like I can never, ever escape from that. I feel like that past is still a heavy burden. I got behind and I can't catch up because my top speed is merely keeping up. I can't close the gap but if I run flat out I can just barely prevent the gap from getting wider.
Outrider wrote:
Makes me feel mentally Ill, I should be blindly young and optimistic but at the same time I grew up too fast.
It makes me feel mentally ill that I grew up too slow! Even when I was 24 I had the mind of a child. So when my 16 year old cousin is working 12 hours on Saturday, 12 hours on Sunday, getting straight As in school and in a long term relationship, I feel like she's now more mature than I ever will be.

It's not the optimistic youths that make me feel sick, it's the precocious youths. Because even at half my age, they're so far ahead of me it makes my head spin.

It makes me feel like I shouldn't even try to save for a house when other people bought one when they were 23! If I ever buy a house, I'll probably keep it a secret because I'll ashamed to admit that I didn't buy one until I was 35 when other people bought one in their 20s.

People talk about how much fun they had in uni, I'll never have that experience. Even if I go now, I'll be a mature age student, which isn't the same experience at all. What did I miss? On the one hand, the classes, assignments, projects, etc. Yes it would have been really hard but that would have toughened me up! The harder it is, the greater the achievement!

On the other hand, the social stuff, the parties, the groups, dating college girls, indepently setting up clubs, etc. I would have loved those clubs. Those clubs were a foreign concept in high school. You couldn't just start your own club. Any club that existed was started by the teachers. You certainly couldn't start your own student union. I missed out on that kind of initiative.

Anything I did with other people, I did at their behest. Any time I took initiative, I did it alone, in my room, in the dark.
Outrider wrote:
maybe young people have always felt so hopeful bd that they can change the world.
Many of them do think they can change the world. That's why they become SJWs.
Outrider wrote:
Bah. I know I'm just one insignificant decaying meatbag of organic matter 7 billion and everything I do or say does not matter and even if I change The world we all die in the end anyway and tbh I'm slightly misanthropic.
You would have loved being a teenager in the 90s. That kind of cynicism was really cool back then.
Outrider wrote:
I wish I could be happy and add meaning to my life and stop thinking like a jaded bitter 30 year old but I can't.
I wish I could be happy but I feel like I'll always be an underachiever. Always less than other people. Always clumsy. The bumbling fool. Always less productive at work. Uneducated. Unable to concentrate. Unable to enact long term plans or delay gratification. Even when something good happens to me and makes me happy for a minute it ends when I remember what a loser I am.

Then again some of the 30 year olds I've known were super optimistic. I've known a fair few people who got married in their late 20s and by 30 their just sort of settling into it. The honeymoon is over (both literally and figuratively) so now they're concentrating on building a life together, renovating their first home, etc. They're still young enough to have youthful energy and optimism. They have money from two jobs. They're just starting to invest. They don't yet have children to drain their energy and happiness and finances. If they're smart they never will. Instead of watching their children grow they can watch their wealth grow.
Outrider wrote:
Its Still true for me, but I feel like I grew up too fast.

Oh well. The meaning of life is to have fun and meaning. I have goals, they will give my pleasure, volunteering and getting gf plus friends will give me meanomg.
Growing up too slow is no fun at all. I used to think only of my pleasure and enjoyment but now I feel like pleasure is toxic to me. Rather than focus on enjoyment, I must focus on achievement. I must deny myself entertainment so I can work more. Do more overtime. Get a good reputation. Achieve more. Get more skilled. I must deny myself shopping sprees so I can save and invest. Mature adults don't use their spare income for their enjoyment, they save it and grow it.

I must no longer think of my enjoyment. I've been a child for far too long. Childhood ends now!


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