Games or are they...?

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It's not about being fake. It's about feelings and the desire to feel important. Ultimately it breaks down into a desire for sexual gratification. It's a near-universal thing. I wasn't intending to go "there," it's just the way you answered my questions didn't leave me room for a more "innocent" comment!

The part about being fake is simply about how we achieve said gratification. I achieve it by eliciting pleasure from someone else, and I admit that it's through manipulation and control. I'll do whatever it takes, no matter how long I have to wait, no matter what physical, emotional, or mental effort or unpleasantness I have to endure, but the payoff feels amazing!

To back off from the more risque metaphor, it's like this. Maybe I'm having the worst day ever. So if I'm out grocery shopping, I might see some random stranger in the store. So I force myself to smile. She smiles back. Now I feel awesome because I made someone else smile.

She enjoys art. I know and care very little about art. So I look at one of her paintings and ask her about it. She explains her painting technique, why she did something a certain way. I say, wow, that's really cool! I never would have known that, thank you. She smiles and we talk more, because she feels appreciated and awesome. And I feel awesome because I made her feel awesome.

You seem to tell me you feel something similar when you listen to men talk about their problems.

It's just how human beings are--selfish, liars, fakes. At our core, we are greedy, evil, and flawed.

There is nothing we can do about it EXCEPT just love each other anyway. We can become aware that all we're doing is manipulating each other. But, so what? At the end of the day, how do we feel? Was it a positive, pleasurable, enjoyable experience? Is it worth repeating? Is it in line with our sense of the divine, justice, ethics, morality, or whatever it is we value the most?

Our feelings of importance are linked to a desire for sexual gratification, and every single bit of it is selfish. The best of humanity is in seeking the best in others for the good of all. Once you set aside your immediate urge towards gratification to meet the needs of others FIRST, over and beyond meeting your own needs, you open yourself to receiving much more in return than what you gave. The HABIT and COMPULSION to meet those desires in others is what makes you sexually attractive because people continue to want you to meet those apparent needs. They will do whatever you want to get it, even if it means pretending they are something they are not.

It is a power that's within all of us. It's just relatively few people that are willing to exercise it. But isn't awesome what happens when we all work together to build each other up? And what are the implications for romantic relationships?