27 May 2007, 4:06 pm
27 May 2007, 4:07 pm
AdrianB wrote:
God f***ing damnit.
I want to read the thread but this damn legrand.. f**** it up.
Please clean this thread
I want to read the thread but this damn legrand.. f**** it up.
Please clean this thread
There are a couple of things that have to go.
27 May 2007, 4:14 pm
calandale wrote:
gwenevyn wrote:
I am not sure if it's my femininity or my deficiency in understanding some kinds of social nuances which is to blame, but I still don't understand why the "you're nice" part hurts. I'll trust you guys' take on the matter, however.
It seems so damned clear to me, even though I've
never had to deal with it. If a girl says this, and
turns around and is with some guy who is definitely
NOT NICE, and this happens repeatedly, how does
one begin to think? Though, you'd think that they'd
learn to be jerks.
It seems perhaps I wasn't clear in communicating my views, as you missed the mark in attempting to predict my thoughts there.
27 May 2007, 5:30 pm
27 May 2007, 5:39 pm
27 May 2007, 5:46 pm
27 May 2007, 5:53 pm
well i dont understand this thread.
all these guys complaining about being called 'nice'.
seems to me they are avoiding the issue.
it's not being called 'nice' they don't like, it's not getting laid.
Yeah, the sky is blue, instead of having a thread whining about being called 'sweet'.
I don't know why they dont have the balls to start a thread asking how to get laid.
Maybe, thats why they dont ? 
27 May 2007, 5:57 pm
DeepBlueLake wrote:
You broke the law of the harem.
Step 1. Publish that s**t.
DeepBlueLake wrote:
You crept into the harem, wearing a eunuch's robe, doing eunuch sh**, and expect to be rewarded with what the sultan has to pay for. Well, it doesn't work that way. If you think that a woman's idea of being seduced is a man sneaking into her life through the back door, you have a lot of romantic fiction to catch up on. Once you put that eunuch's robe on, that labels you in her mind permanently. Permanently. And she will find it most disturbing if you try to change the situation.
They said it was a pimp suit, and damn it I believed them. I'm never going back to that clothing store.
DeepBlueLake wrote:
I'm sure you went home fuming about what a b***h she was, how she led you on, etc. But while you were doing that, she was sitting there thinking about how her bowels heaved when she saw that hard-on sticking out from under your eunuch's robe. At that moment, she realised that you were in her life under false pretences. Not as a sexless friend come to comfort her, but as a man come to take her. A man who didn't have the spunk to use the front door. Like it or not, that creeps a woman out to the very core of her soul. So she gave you the "let's be friends" speech.
This is assuming that to guys, relationship = sex, and nothing else. (For many it does, I'm not denying this.) Also, I thought I came in through the side door.... You know, that one down the alley but not all the way in the back where deliveries are made.
Not all guys go home fuming. Many go home confused and / or depressed, because they weren't aware that there was a "right" way and a "wrong" way to approach things, the right way frequently seeming like "Be an a**hole, get the girl!" and the wrong one seen as "Care about her, but that's not what she wanted!" That can make it even harder to play this "game," when the initial exposure is seeing that what works isn't something you necessarily think is right.
DeepBlueLake wrote:
That's a woman's instinct - when cornered by a dangerous man, kick him in the balls. On a more positive level, it's a lesson: next time you fancy a woman, try the front door. Make it plain you're after sex and, without sex, there's going to be no friendship. She might be interested. Or she might tell you to go to hell - but at least that isn't as humiliating as "let's just be friends".
I love this bizarro-world. The ego-inflated jerk is the ideal, the guy concerned about your well-being is dangerous. Again it assumes the whole "Guy wants sex first, talk later if at all" thing to be across the board. (Damn you, women, don't generalize like that! Not saying men don't...but still!)
DeepBlueLake wrote:
You're expected to show your intentions honestly from the beginning. And if that means getting shot down in front of a bar full of people, so be it. Women don't give themselves to a man who's scared of that. To us, the idea that you have to be combative and uncompromising with a potential lover seems crazy. Yet that's how nature designed it.
I'm sure many of us in this situation have thought we were being honest.
Also, there's some possibilities for why the guy might not be quite so direct right off the bat. Some might be concerned with the risk of losing a friend if the answer is no. That, and this basically means "If you already know the person, nothing can come of it. Period." Well, not all of us are happy with that rule. Maybe the guy realizes just how great of a person the girl is once he gets to know her, maybe he didn't have time for a relationship initially, but now he does. There's all sorts of reasons that a guy might not charge in head-first that aren't simply because he is a "coward."
27 May 2007, 5:58 pm
27 May 2007, 5:58 pm
27 May 2007, 6:00 pm
27 May 2007, 6:05 pm
shadexiii wrote:
calandale wrote:
MrSinister wrote:
Yeah. It's like when a female friend says "Oh, I wish my boyfriend was more like you!" while bitching about how awfully her knuckle-dragging significant other behaves.
The automatic mental response to that is "Well, I'm like that 24/7. Why don't you start going out with me?!"
The automatic mental response to that is "Well, I'm like that 24/7. Why don't you start going out with me?!"
If it's such a big deal, why don't you just say it aloud?
That's the point, in that situation they don't want you. They want their significant other to have certain qualities similar to you, but others that they retain.
well, if anyone said that to me i would just get it out.
probably why they dont.
27 May 2007, 6:18 pm
27 May 2007, 6:19 pm
27 May 2007, 6:21 pm
27 May 2007, 6:23 pm
