What’s the likelihood?

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This is getting intense . . .. .. .. . .. . .i just painted a mermaid tho . . .. . . .

Truthfully tho. I appreciate everyone’s input here . .. . .

We are all different some of us can cope with more intensity than others, or want friendship or interaction enough to put up with it.

I have learnt a lot. . .. . My friendship is over but I am glad it has happened. . .. . .. let’s just remember we are all humans, all individual . . . . .. . .

I didn't know you painted.

I wish I could paint.

I can only write.

You could start with writing with a paint brush

If I did that, I would make sure I had turpentine within my beck and call.

Anyone can paint . .. . . I’m living proof. . .. . . It is a bit like learning an instrument you just have to have the courage to begin, and then practise . . .. lots

He has made it clear that he doesn't value YOU, and the effort you're putting forth. He's made it even more clear by blocking you. He isn't interested, and I suggest that it's time to move on--it's been time to move on for years.

Please read about love addiction. This fits the pattern of the love addict and the love avoidant. Please read the book:
Pia Mellody’s Theory of Love Addiction and Love Avoidance.

The fantasy of how you'd like things to have played out is just that: a fantasy. This is a tough pill to swallow. You're gonna have to accept it.

To me, you're not valuing yourself. You're allowing yourself to be abused by this person for such a long time, and it shows how little that you love yourself. You deserve to have someone that will be there for you. Aspergers or not, the guy will value you.

All the wishing, hoping, and longing in the world isn't going to fix you. Focusing on yourself is the top priority here. Up to you if you ignore this advice. Wish you the best.

If you want to get him back sleep with another guy, post a selfie of the two of yousnuggled up I'm bed together naked and pretend that you are at your sexual peak now that you have ceased contact with him. Good luck.

Kinme. . . . .thanks for the advice . . . I don’t think it is quite that straightforward. He has done many things to show he does care. . . .. buys presents, arranges really lovely outings etc etc. The problem has always been in our communication between times

Also I have never wanted anything more than friendship, my efforts have always been to understand him, and to ensure I didn’t judge him for actions that may be due to him thinking and acting differently due to his different brain wiring. . . .. . .. he has always been adamant that he very much wanted the friendship and asked for me to hang in there.

However with this recent fall,out and blocking. I haven’t attempted,to contact him. I no longer am willing to jump,through hoops for him. And I feel fine about it actually. To begin with I was sad, but now I sort of feel relief that I don’t have to keep walking on eggshells around him. If he got back in contact I’m not entirely sure how I would feel . . .. . .

The less time you spend worrying about what he's going to do, is doing, etc., the more you can focus on what actually matters: you. The above post is focusing little on yourself and primarily on him. I'm being as blunt as possible with you. Not much else I can say. This is on you to figure out--you can ask us at WP a billion times and we still cannot make the right decision that will work for you. No amount of rationalizing, understanding, or trying to figure out his intentions will help you. There are way too many variables with regard to why he chose to do what he did. It ultimately doesn't matter. It isn't giving you answers as to why you would choose someone that is on and off again, hot and cold, etc. You will find the reasons why if you allow yourself to grieve the loss of him.

I just came to the dating forum because I enjoy reading all of the argument. Annagables, what are you still doing discussing this guy. You did this way back in October when I first started my account here. It just seems like you are recycling the same thoughts. This can’t be healthy. Have you tried some counseling?

Hey aspiesingledad . . . I come here to try and understand when I am confused or feel like I am misunderstanding my friend. It usually worked and we would move forward and have some great times together as friends . . .treks on the moor, numerous gigs, art galleries, train trips etc etc . . . .then we would hit another hiccup. I have many other folk in my life including a partner. This friendship was just one small part of my life, but I am a very loyal friend who does not like to give up easily. At previous times he had asked me to “hang in there” or “ not give up on him”. . . .. it just appears this is the only thing I talk about is because here on this forum it is . . .. . However the friendship is over now. No counselling required . .. . . A small part of me still worries that I didn’t take into account other stuff that was happening at the time of the last argument, but mainly I’m just done with it. . . . .. . . .other friends have stepped into the breach to go to gigs, art exhibitions, hiking . . . . .i will miss my friend and his quirky humour but I accept that the friendship has passed.

The chances are high to repeat behavior if we can't figure out why we're doing what we're doing in the first place. He may be the first of many friends/relationships that are just like him in your life. Hell, it could have been a pattern in your family of origin. Counseling, or at least self-help, are important, especially from something that's been ongoing for years. This will be the last time I respond to one of these posts regarding your friend or ex-friend. Wish you the best.

Well in what ways did you show you cared for him exactly? Anyone can get to be a little too much at times...nothing wrong with reducing your intensity some at times. In my relationship I am the one with aspergers and my boyfriend is NT...and there have been a few times I've been a little too intense for him and have to tone things down a little. I would imagine if you refuse to tone things down ever and are super intense all the time even after the person has told you you're being too much its going to push them away rather than bring them closer. I mean me and my boyfriend love each other...but we still need a bit of personal space and breathing room sometimes.

You don't constantly have to prove to someone that you care...they get it, I mean I can imagine it would be stressful to have a friend who's intense all the time to show they 'care' to the point it seems they are frantically trying to prove how much they care to save the friendship that is just fine at that point. It would probably show a level of them not trusting that I am actually their friend...and why would I want to bother with someone who can't trust we're still friends unless they are clinging to me? So it is possible you might have been acting too clingy. But its not just aspies that would be bothered plenty of Neurotypicals don't like too much clingyness either.

Yes I was too intense . .. . I accept that. I also accept that he found that difficult and tried to adapt to me.
I showed I cared in many ways .. . .helping out with his special interests, driving him miles, being there when he was ill etc. He also showed me he cared in return.

i am a person who has a job, studying art at degree level. Go to festivals with a big group of friends. Join art exhibitions with artists friends etc etc. . . . .i am not a sad human obsessed by one person

However,on this forum there are often complaints of fickle NT who aren’t prepared to adapt and understand. I tried really hard not to be like that because I really liked my friend as a person and human.

Your view of me is shaped by the things I post here, but as I said before this is just one small element, of trying to educate myself. It often worked, I would speak to you guys and understand better . . .the. Our friendship would move forward again.

However this time I really do think it has run its course and I accept that. I just hope that he is happy

Sorry just realised you were replying to Imhere not me . . .. . But others also seem to suggest I am being obsessive or unhealthy and just wanted to explain myself, I am a much fuller person than the snapshot you see,on here, but this forum has been really helpful in making me understand better, especially when friends were suggesting my friend was an a***hole and not worth my time. I don’t believe that and never had. Even if our friendship is finished.

When people want space in a relationship you need to respect that and give them space. If they do not offer the degree of closeness or interaction you prefer in a relationship, find someone who is more your style.