"Just be friendly."

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Plenty of people here posted photos of themselves before in the Members’ section, me included, nothing happened,
no one died nor one harassed, at least it is extremely rare for any kind of harassement to occur here.

Of course, no one is forcing Mark to do it, it is his call.

Because all therapists are good at their jobs? If I hire a plumber to fix my pipes and come home to a flooded house, I might know less about plumbing than this plumber, but I can still see that they did a sh***y job.

Sorry, my bad , the penny hasn't dropped for you yet , maybe one day

edited, gonna make my own thread on this...

I don't know how about others but I've started "seeing a therapist" over unexplainable pain-like feeling that drove me suicidal on daily basis.
Generally, you're supposed to work with a therapist on your feelings, not on your achievements.

My therapist was a really nice caring guy but he did absolutely nothing to help me , he found me a bit of an enigma and wanted me to keep going to sessions as he couldn't work me out ( he didn't have a great knowledge of autism )

Only the third therapist I worked with "got" me.

I think there is a lot of trial and error with therapists.

The 2nd and last therapist I had said there was nothing wrong with me and I was perfectly entitled to kill myself if I wanted.

Not to derail but I agree there are quacks. My former psychiatrist said I couldn't be autistic because I was "too articulate". This, despite the fact I'm a well-read academic. Trial and error is key. Many of them don't tailor their advice to your specific needs because they don't take enough time to understand those needs.

Many therapists still believe in the pre-1980 version of autism----which was exclusively the severe, non-verbal, totally oblivious to others-type of autism.

Whenever I asked how to get a girlfriend when I was interested in the opposite sex, I was told to ask them if they wanted to go out with me and ask for their phone numbers. When I reached my adolescent years and I still didn't have a girlfriend, the websites I would look up would say things like "Nice guys finish last." and "You need to start the relationship off right away or the woman will think you are only interested in being friends only.", which only fueled my depressed feelings.

But how can I not feel so desperate and worried all the time? How can I prevent another 13 years of being single happening?

Just don't believe everything that's written on the Internet.....

Find what makes you happy and confident. Do more of that.



If you really want to commit to "My life is about getting a girlfriend, and nothing else matters" here's what you do:

Write down a workout schedule for the week. Don't deviate from it ever. Wednesday says you run a mile you run a mile. Start with light-cardio and light weights. Every 2 months increase the difficulty of the workouts.

Write down your target caloric intake for the day. Don't eat more than that ever. If it's Thanksgiving dinner eat one slice of Turkey and say I'm on a diet. Your family gives you any crap just glare at them. Once you're down to your target weight increase your intake by 200 calories per day each month until you stop losing weight.

When the pain is such that you can't take it anymore keep going. When you feel like quitting your diet, chew sugarless gum and listen to Mulan's "A girl worth fighting for" on loop until the hunger subsides or you go to sleep. Whichever happens first.

After 2-3 years of this you'll have a pretty rocking body. Go to the nearest scenic locale, and take a profile pic with your shirt off.

Join several dating apps. You'll get some matches from girls that just want a guy with a rocking body. Go on dates with them, learn how to act on a date. Eventually one of them will get into a relationship with you.

You won't be you anymore, you'll be freaky athletic guy who only cares about his body and girls, but you won't be single either.

^ At last, some real advice.

This what I did and this what made me “dateable” and lose my virginity just quick after.

I think "just be friendly" is good advice as far as it goes, but maybe Marknis needs more specifics.
I mean, what constitutes being friendly?

Which is probably not really for me to say - I don't have huge numbers of friends in my life - but (in case they are helpful) here are some observations on how I made those I do have:

Often I may have seen the person around for quite a while - maybe they're a work colleague or a fellow member of a club or organisation. So I'm not nervous in their company because we've spoken before, even if it was just to say "good morning" or mention the weather.

Or else we've been thrown together during some kind of challenge that automatically lowers barriers (think natural disasters, hospital waiting-rooms, whatever). You're too busy getting through something to get all uptight about social niceties.

So, whichever scenario, we happen to be doing something together or in the same place, and while talking about what we're doing or what's happening we discover we share a common interest or viewpoint on something. It works best of it's an interest/hobby, I think, but it could be anything that you both value.
(Did you see the episode of Big Bang Theory in which Howard first meets Bernadette? They seemed to have absolutely nothing in common until Howard mentions his over-protective Mother, and suddenly they totally hit it off, because Bernadette is suffering the same intensity of frustration with her parents).

Anyway, for me it has never been planned or happened when I was thinking about making a new friend, it just happens out of the blue when I was doing something else.

Once you've made that initial connection, try not to leave without making some kind of arrangement to see that person again. Nothing intimate yet (you're just seeing whether a friendship will develop), so just a short meet-up like a coffee, or asking if they're going to an up-coming event (especially one related to the common interest). Maybe inviting them along to an interest group.

If they agree, you can ask for their number for the purpose of confirming arrangements later. This takes away any predator factor, because they know why you want their number and it's innocuous.

They may or may not want to, but if they don't that's not the end of the world. It doesn't necessarily mean a rejection, it might be that they have other plans or things on their mind at that particular time, or they just haven't got to know you well enough to see past the aspie awkwardness. If you happen to be around them again another time and they're still friendly towards you, you can try again.

Hope that helps.

I am not a fan of Big Bang Theory. Not because I think it's a bad show but because I never really watched it. No one around me talked about it until many years after it first aired and I just never cared much for sitcoms. It's too late to get into now since it's over.

People in my area tend to be very insular or already have company with them so I constantly have a stacked deck against me out in the world. I pretty much go through my daily existence alone.

My co-workers tend to always have commitments with their social groups and boyfriends/husbands (Men are in the minority where I work.) but I honestly don't want to hang out with them, especially not with the older women. One I historically do not get along with because of her short temper, gossiping nature, scowling voice towards me if she thinks I've done something wrong, and tattletaling habit. Of the other two, one is married while the other is divorced but both are bitter, don't share much in common with me, and are very religious.